The Doctor's Destiny Book 2:The Doctor's Mistress
by Aline Riva
Summary: Sequel to Terminal Orbit. The Doctor begins treatment to prevent the Master's toxin from claiming his life, but when Ace finds his ordeal too much to bear and briefly returns to Earth, he begins to grow closer to Dr Carla Bailey, who has never stopped fighting to save him. But the Master is not far behind, and is about to offer the Doctor hope - in exchange for a terrible price...
1. Chapter 1

**The Doctor's Mistress**

**Author Note: This story is the sequel to "Terminal Orbit"**

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**Summary**

**With the Master gone along with the antidote to the toxin that threatens his life, the Doctor has no regrets about sparing the life of Dr Carla Bailey in the moments before the destruction of the Cassandra-Aurora. As he places his trust in Carla to create a formula that will enable him to live with the toxin that has poisoned his blood, the Doctor begins to feel much closer to her than he first expected. Determined to fight his attraction to her, he concentrates on his recent marriage to his long-term companion Ace, and when he lands the Tardis on the peaceful planet of Sabra, this seems like the perfect place to begin the treatment that he hopes will enable him to live with the result of the Master's attempt to kill him.**

**But the treatment proves to be a harsh ordeal and when his fears are proven right – that Ace finds watching his pain too much to bear – he persuades her to return to earth for a short while, promising he will return when the treatment is completed.**

**While Ace goes back to earth for a difficult reunion with her mother, the Doctor undergoes the rest of his treatment – a harrowing experience that brings about the realisation that he truly does have feelings for Carla, the woman who has worked so hard to keep him alive.**

**On hearing the news that the toxin is finally under control – for a brief time – the Doctor decides to go back into the past, to a time before he knew Ace, when Carla Bailey was a young medical student based in London. He meets with her and after a brief encounter, returns to the Tardis and travels back to his own reality – but reality is often distorted thanks to the cocktail of strong drugs in his bloodstream, and he soon finds out a shocking truth – and concludes that the beautiful moments he shared with her in a dream state were not enough.**

**Against his better judgement, the Doctor begins an affair with Carla and after returning to earth for a reunion with Ace, suggests they stay a while in Perivale, setting Carla up in a nearby flat while he and Ace remain in the Tardis. Ace remains oblivious to the Doctor's guilty secret, but then Carla gives him the shattering news that the toxin levels have raised once again, and he faces more painful treatment in order to survive.**

**But the Master has followed the Doctor's Tardis to earth and has discovered his plan to lead a double life, and then he seizes what he believes is the perfect opportunity to defeat the Doctor once and for all, by offering him a bargain – another vial of antidote, in exchange for a promise never to cross his path again - _but the Doctor has yet to learn exactly what the ultimate price will be for this terrible bargain …_**

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**Rated T**

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**Warnings: Deals with adult subjects, including intimacy and mortality, and contains heavily emotional subject matter.**

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**Disclaimer: I own nothing, this is a work of fan fiction.**

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Chapter 1

They were headed for the planet Sabra, and it looked much like earth as the Tardis drifted closer.

Ace stood beside Carla and they watched as the planet loomed nearer, and then Ace turned to Dr Bailey and noticed the far off look in her eyes. She knew she wasn't thinking about the home planet they shared in common, albeit a few centuries apart – Carla was thinking about the death of her colleagues again.

"I still see it," she said quietly, "Every time I look out to the blackness of space. I think of everyone I knew and I wonder what went through each of their minds in the split second before the ship blew up."

"Probably nothing," Ace said quietly, "It would have happened in the blink of an eye."

"I still don't believe they didn't suffer," she replied, "Or maybe it's just the living that suffer. I'm here to remember they are gone. I'm the only one left."

And the Doctor looked up from the console, watching as Carla turned back to the viewing screen with a haunted look in her eyes.

She had not lost that haunted look since the Cassandra-Aurora had exploded. She had spent the time after that sleeping, and then setting up her lab as she worked long hours to develop the formula that was now his only hope of survival.

The Doctor wondered how long she would have that haunted look in her eyes, and if it would ever truly fade. Then he thought about Survivor Syndrome and how many of the symptoms Carla was already displaying. Those thoughts reminded him of suicide statistics that he did _not _care to dwell upon…

"You can forget all about space for a while," he said as he prepared the Tardis for landing, "Sabra is a beautiful place, uninhabited, peaceful, warm... it has natural hot springs that have rejuvenating qualities… maybe it could help me."

"You need more than a mildly healing tonic, Doctor," Carla replied, "Although it could help you with the side effects of the treatment. I won't dismiss any chance of natural remedies being used alongside conventional medicine."

"When are you thinking of starting the anti toxin?" Ace asked her, and the Doctor looked back down at the Tardis controls, not wanting to think about all he had to face in the very near future.

"I'll get the formula set up as soon as we've landed," Carla replied, "But I'll have to talk to you both first before we go any further. This is going to be very difficult."

Ace frowned.

"I know that," she replied quietly.

Suddenly the Tardis was too silent, the mood too sombre.

"So," the Doctor said, "Shall I take us in? You'll love the coastline on this planet, Ace – it's beautiful. And the hot springs will make you feel wonderful. Maybe we could go for a swim together, don't pack your bikini – it's uninhabited!"

Ace turned and smiled and the Doctor's eyes sparkled playfully.

"This isn't a holiday," Carla reminded him, "You sound so optimistic. I'm not sure you're ready to do this."

The Doctor ran his hand over the controls and hit some buttons and pushed a lever.

"Of course I am," he replied, faking a light mood as his hearts felt heavy, "I can't wait to get these implants off my skin. I won't need them once I've had the anti toxin."

"That could take some time," Carla reminded him, "It's going to be at least two weeks before I know if the dose is right, before I can be certain you can manage _without_ the implants –"

"I'll be fine," he said and then he smiled, purely because he saw such worry in the eyes of Ace, and he wanted her to smile again, too.

Then the crystal column rose and fell and the Tardis faded out from space, landing easily on the planet of Sabra.

* * *

The Doctor opened the Tardis door and stepped out, and Ace followed.

"I dreamed about this place," she murmured, looking around at the lush green fields and a then up above at a sky that seemed impossibly blue. The Doctor turned his head and gave her a knowing look.

"Yes..." he said thoughtfully, and then he walked on a short distance and stopped, pausing to look across the field where trees dotted the landscape. Far beyond a tide rolled to a golden shore and sunlight danced on the water.

"You're not surprised I recognise this place?"

Ace had caught up with him, and she wasn't going to let that question go.

"I expected you to," he replied, "This planet will be significant, I can feel it."

"Or do you already know it?"

She sounded suspicious. He shook his head.

"I'm not hiding anything, Ace."

He put his arm around her shoulder and as she looked into his eyes and remembered how weak he was, her suspicion faded.

"I wish you didn't have to start the treatment so soon. I wish this was just a holiday."

"Me too. _What's that?_"

He had taken his arm off her shoulder now and his tone of voice had changed as he looked across to the trees, noticing a building set in a clearing, it was two storeys high and square and wide, with metal and glass reflecting sun.

"I thought you said this planet was uninhabited?" Ace said.

"I thought it was!" he exclaimed, "No buildings were meant to be constructed here for another fifty years…what's going on?"

"Is there a problem?"

He turned to see Carla Bailey standing beside him.

"Possibly – I have no idea why there's a building on this planet. It's meant to be uninhabited. Earth sent a research team to assess the place but that was three years ago and they packed up and left within six months and took everything with them. There shouldn't be a building anywhere on this planet."

"And I'm sure you want to find answers," Carla replied, "But you do have other priorities."

"This won't take long," he told her, "I just want to find out who lives there, because they shouldn't be here according to history."

And then he walked on, and Ace noticed he suddenly seemed a little more energised. She followed on with Carla, smiling as she glanced at her.

"This is good for him. I know he needs to take the formula, but he also needs to do what he does best – he's just being the Doctor, he can't leave a mystery alone."

"Let's hope he keeps it brief," she replied, "He's sick, Ace. He _can't_ put this off much longer."

"Right…" Ace said quietly, and then she quickened her pace, leaving Carla behind as she hurried to catch up with the Doctor.

* * *

As they reached the building set in a wooded area, Ace looked up at the wide windows.

"This looks like a major construction. Why would someone build on an empty planet, I mean, just _one_ building?"

And the Doctor stepped back from the doorway and took his finger off an illuminated button.

Ace stared at him.

"You can't do that!"

"I can't ring a doorbell?" he said as amusement danced in his eyes, "Really Ace, I know you're my wife now but I'm still in charge! Less of the orders, please!"

And he winked. Ace wanted to laugh, recalling warm embraces in the dark when he had teased her about how he made all the rules and then grabbed her playfully and rolled her on her back, but this place was still and quiet and the thought that the building should not be here gave her the creeps.

"You don't know _who_ might be here!"

"That's why I rang the bell. _Why_ do they have a doorbell if they don't expect visitors?"

That question got her thinking, and worrying even more.

Static crackled, and then a screen jumped to life below the call button.

"I didn't order a delivery for another six months. Why are you here?" The voice was female, and sounded tense.

The Doctor leaned closer to the screen.

"We're not here about a delivery. My name is the Doctor, and I'm here with my wife Ace and a medical professional named Carla Bailey. I'm a traveller. If you turn on your visuals you might not feel so uneasy…I'm sorry if we're trespassing, I was lead to believe this planet was uninhabited."

There was a pause and the static vanished, replaced by a clear view of a blank wall.

"That's better!" he said brightly, and looked into the camera above the door and smiled as he raised his hat.

"Hello, I'm the Doctor!"

Then a woman peered back at him through the screen, she was no older than thirty with dark blonde shoulder length hair, and her blue eyes were filled with confusion as she shook her head.

"I don't understand how you found me."

"By accident," he said, "You've nothing to fear from us. But I would like to know why you're here, when this planet is listed as uninhabited."

She gave a sigh.

"Fine…okay, I'll come down and let you in…"

The screen went dark.

"She doesn't seem happy to have visitors," he remarked, "Surprising, considering she's so alone here."

"Maybe she's got something to hide –"

Ace fell silent as the door opened.

"What do you want?" asked the woman standing in the doorway.

The Doctor smiled.

"I just wondered why you're here, that's all. As I said, I'm just a traveller."

She stepped back, folding her arms against the thin, pale material of her summer dress.

"Well come in, then! And hurry up, I'm busy!"

The Doctor went inside, and Ace and Carla followed.

* * *

The woman shut the door and fixed the Doctor with an impatient look.

"I'm not in the habit of inviting strangers into _my _facility."

The Doctor looked at her with interest.

"What kind of facility is this?"

She looked down at the polished floor, and then she gathered her thoughts and spoke quickly, rattling off an explanation.

"I'm Lexi Dixon. Soon I'll be THE Lexi Dixon, responsible for discovering and researching something the earth research team didn't find! I've got a grant, a big one – it paid for this place."

"Where from?" he asked her.

"The inter galactic environmental board. And I do have a permit and all the necessary paperwork… _somewhere._ I can't find it at short notice, so don't expect me to show it to you."

And she paused, nervously inspecting her manicured fingernails, and then she ran her fingers through her hair.

"I _am _genuine," she said, and the Doctor resisted the urge to smile.

"And what _exactly_ have you discovered here?"

"Giant electric eels, I brought one of them from the sea and set it up in a tank at the back of the facility."

He briefly smiled.

"Really? And here I was thinking large electric eels are found on Eden Earth _only,_ and perhaps you imported one… would be an easy way to land yourself a fat salary…and pull off a get rich quick scam…"

She glared at him and her face turned scarlet.

"I can assure you I'm genuine!"

The Doctor smiled again.

"Of course you are. So why is this place so large? How did you manage a scam – I mean _venture_ – on this scale? Do you have a partner in _crime_ - sorry, I meant, _business?_"

She was still blushing furiously.

"No partner…just me. But this facility is big enough for me to employ another twenty staff, I've already had this place fitted out to house them, and I have living quarters and a medical centre in case of emergencies. All I'm waiting for is confirmation that this place is properly set out –I get the survey done in eight month's time. And then –"

"You'll sell it off to the earth based colonization research program for a fat fee, and disappear with the cash before they realise it's a scam?" he suggested.

Anger flashed in her eyes.

"That's _not_ true –"

"There are no large electric eels on this planet. And I've heard your name through the space-time grapevine, Miss Dixon. You're a con artist."

She stared at him.

"No…no I'm not –"

"_But that's none of our concern."_

Ace caught a flicker of anger in the Doctor's eyes as he looked sharply to Carla, but she ignored him and continued to speak.

"You said you have a medical facility here? Is it already fitted out?"

"Yes, but I don't have any medical staff yet –"

"Do you have a treatment room, do you have resuscitation equipment and general medical supplies?"

"Yes, but why are you asking me about that?"

"Because the Doctor needs a place to stay while he undergoes some medical treatment and I'd be much more comfortable about treating him in a fully stocked, proper medical facility than on his ship."

"Why?" Ace sounded scared.

The Doctor looked from his wife to Carla Bailey, and suddenly felt powerless to object to Carla taking over the conversation, because he knew she had a valid point.

"Because the chemicals in the anti toxin are very powerful," she said, and then she turned back to Lexi.

"Miss Dixon, we don't care what you're up to here. But we would appreciate being allowed to stay here to use your medical facilities."

The Doctor looked at Lexi, and as she studied his face she noticed he was pale, saw shadows beneath his eyes and knew at once their request was genuine.

"You have no where else to go?" Lexi asked.

A smile flickered about Carla's lips.

"Only the intergalactic environmental board," she replied, "_If_ you turn us away. We've got you figured out, but we wont say anything if you show us some kindness. It's not much to ask, is it?"

Annoyance flickered in Lexi's eyes, and then she gave a sigh.

"Fine. I can see you need to use my facility, and I hope you know what you're doing, because I have no medical training and like I said there are no staff arriving for months…and it's a small area, so don't complain about lack of space."

And she walked over to a board on the wall where keys were hung, snatched off a set and shoved them into Carla's hand. Her eyes were like ice as she forced a smile.

"Congratulations on the use of my sick bay, rent free! Enjoy your stay. And keep out of my way, I'm busy."

Then she turned and walked away in the direction of a door at the end of the corridor.

"Which floor is it?" Ace called out.

"Read the signs!" Lexi replied, and then she went into the room at the end of the passage and shut it loudly behind her.

Ace exchanged a glance with Carla and then looked to the Doctor.

"I'm not sure this is such a good idea."

"No," he replied, "This will be ideal – I've heard of Miss Dixon, she's a con artist. She's trying to rip off the environmental board, but it seems a bit ambitious, for her to be doing this alone…"

He frowned, pausing deep in thought.

"I wonder why she's going intergalactic instead of milking earth for more cash for her fake research?"

"It doesn't matter," Carla said, indicating to a sign next to a nearby lift, "Sick bay's on the first floor."

And she walked over to the lift and hit the call button.

The Doctor turned to follow, and as he did so Ace lowered her voice.

"I wasn't expecting her to take over like that."

"But she's got a good point," he replied, "If this place is properly equipped I'll be better off here than taking my chances elsewhere."

They walked towards the open lift and Ace fell silent. She thought of all her Professor had been through since falling victim to the Master's toxin, and suddenly as the lift doors closed she felt trapped, in a way that made her draw in a sharp breath as it seemed the walls were closing in.

"Ace?"

He looked worried now, and she felt guilty for causing even a moments concern.

"I'm okay," she said quietly.

The doors opened on the first floor, and they stepped out into a pale corridor and Carla led the way, following signs that led to double doors that had a sign above that said _Medical Facility_.

Ace stood beside the Doctor as Carla unlocked the doors, and as she stood there she wondered how much more of this day she could take, because suddenly the time was arriving for the man she loved to go through more pain, and she wasn't sure if she could cope with watching him do that…

* * *

Lexi Dixon was in her lab, over in a corner where she was sat at a desk looking into a communications screen. It was a poor connection due to distance and the screen was rolling with lines and static.

"What visitors?" demanded an angry voice, "No one must interfere in your scheme to turn the project into a financially profitable venture! You _must_ eliminate them!"

She ran her fingers through her hair and took in a deep breath.

"No, I can't kill them! They're not the authorities investigating this place, they're just travellers – they don't care about us ripping off the intergalactic environmental board, they just need to stay here for a while because one of them needs use of the medical facility. I couldn't say no. He looks really sick - I believe their story. And he knows who I am, I don't know how he's heard of me but he has - and they won't say anything about me if I let them stay!"

"_Blackmail?"_ he raged, _"You can not allow this to happen! We are so close to our goal! Kill them all!"_

She gave another sigh of despair as she paused to gather thoughts that would make sense to him.

"They are not the enemy! And as much as I hate to admit this, I feel sorry for him. He looks as if he's dying."

"_Who is he?" _

"I don't know," she replied, "Some guy called the Doctor –"

"The Doctor?" he raged, "He is on Sabra? You have allowed him to stay at the facility?"

"What's so special about him?"

"_He is a Timelord. And known to my people."_

"As a friend?"

"No! As a meddling enemy! I shall set a course for Sabra at once…"

She stared at the obscured screen.

"No, Venx…you can't do this! Think of our plans, _think_ of the money!"

There was a pause.

"Our plans, yes," he said, and his voice softened. "I do so admire your fine attributes," he added warmly, "Your selfishness and cold-hearted scheming…your ability to lie and steal… it makes me see past your revolting human appearance."

She smiled.

"Other humans find me attractive."

"If another human found you desirable I would be forced to eliminate them!"

And he thumped something on his side of the screen, and the screen cleared, the lines stopped rolling and the static vanished.

"That's better," he said, and then he smiled, and greeted by the sight of her Sontaran lover, Lexi smiled too.

"I've missed you so much. I'm counting the days until I can sell this place!"

"You will not have to miss me much longer," he replied, "I am on my way back. Do not worry about our money making scheme – it will not be affected by my intention to kill the Doctor."

"Do you have to kill him? I think he's not going to last much longer any way – he looks very sick. And…" she paused, nervously twisting a gold bracelet around her wrist, "…And I'm not sure it's a good idea for you and me to be seen together, not in front of these people… he's not on his own, he's with a woman called Ace and this other woman called Carla Bailey. You can't kill all of them!"

He looked back at her, weighing up all she had said.

"_Perhaps I will just kill the Doctor."_

Her eyes widened.

"I don't want you to kill anyone! I just want us to get enough interest in this place as a research facility, pick up the money and run!"

He smiled brightly as his small eyes glittered excitedly.

"Oh yes! The money…we shall run away together my love! And then I will be free to find a new home, with you..."

Her eyes glowed with warmth.

"I love you so much, you sexy Sontaran!" she said fondly, "You're literally one in a million, just _one_ in batch of a million clones who turned out different to the rest, you're not a reject to me, Venx…you're my special guy and together we can make wonderful schemes and plans!"

Venx looked at her proudly through the screen.

"I will see you in a few days, my love. I'm coming to cover you with kisses!"

And then the excitement that glittered in his eyes cooled to ice.

"_And_ I'm going to kill the Doctor," he added, "See you soon, I blow a kiss."

And she raised her hand and closed it, making out to catch his kiss and forcing a smile as the screen faded to black.

Then she turned from the screen with a look of panic in her eyes.

"_You can't kill him!"_ she said in a hushed voice, _"You idiot, Venx… you'll ruin everything!"_

* * *

Ace had walked with the Doctor and Carla down a corridor, and Carla had found a treatment room, an operating room and a pharmacy.

"It looks good so far," she said, "I think this place will be ideal."

And as the Doctor opened a door and stepped into a room with a wide window that gave a stunning view of the green fields and the coastline beyond, he agreed with her.

"Yes, I think so too," he said quietly, and then he glanced at the bed by the window and the switched off monitors beside it. This was clearly a patient's room, and he knew it would be the place where he would have to stay for some time while he received the treatment to wipe most of the toxin from his body.

"It's not bad in here," he said, taking Ace by the hand and leading her over to the window, "Nice view…"

And then he sat down on the bed and gave a gentle tug on her hand, and she sat beside him.

_"Ace?"_

She was looking down at the floor, lost in thoughts that made her heart ache.

He reached out and swept her hair off her shoulder and said her name again, she turned her head and he saw tears in her eyes.

"There's another bed over there, it folds down from the wall. You can stay in here with me. We don't have to be apart."

"That's good," she replied, and her voice sounded choked with emotion.

"I can do this," he reminded her, "I _can_ handle it. Don't worry so much."

"It's easier said than done."

Ace still looked tearful, and he hated to see her so unhappy.

Then Carla spoke up.

"I'm going back to the Tardis to fetch the formula and some other equipment, and as soon as it's set up I'll be ready to start the treatment. Doctor, do you fully understand what this means?"

As Carla walked over to join them he felt Ace tighten her grip on his hand.

"Not entirely," he said, flashing her a nervous smile, "But I'm sure it's not going to be easy."

Carla looked into his eyes. She noticed he seemed apprehensive, and guessed he had every right to be. Ace looked on the brink of tears and she knew what she was about to say would make her feel worse, but she had to be sure they were fully informed about the process before she began…

"Doctor, the chemicals involved are very powerful. I have to split the formula into two treatments – the first will last for two days when I introduce the first three drugs into your bloodstream. This will allow your body to accept the rest of the formula later on. And it's going to be _very_ painful. The whole process will be painful, but the first phase will hit you hardest. It will be a few days before I can accurately assess its effectiveness, and only then can I add pain relief to your medication. There will be side effects, some are certain others are possible, among them, fever, delirium, nausea, weakness, skin rashes – the list is almost endless. There could be complications; you could need emergency procedures – your twin hearts could beat out of unison, you could go into cardiac arrest, or the open wounds from the implants could refuse to heal due to the high levels of toxins fighting for control in your body and you could bleed heavily - but possibly, _not_ definitely. The only thing I can be sure of is this will be very difficult for _both_ of you."

The Doctor glanced at Ace, and then looked back at the view of the landscape beyond the window as he replied.

"I think you've painted an accurate picture of how I was expecting it to be. And I'm ready to start this treatment, Dr Bailey."

"Then I'll go back to the Tardis and fetch everything I need to set up my lab here," she told him, "I should be ready to begin by this afternoon. Is that too soon, or would you prefer to wait until morning?"

"Let's get started today, I'd rather get this over with," he replied, still fixing his gaze on the rolling surf beyond the green fields.

Ace said no more until Carla had left the room. Then she looked at him with tearful eyes.

"I'm scared. I don't want to lose you."

"I don't want to lose me either!" he exclaimed, "Don't worry Ace, I can handle this – I have to, I've got no choice in the matter."

And then he put his arm around her and she rested her head against his shoulder and they both fell silent, looking out of the wide window at a beautiful landscape as neither said another word, both keeping their fears for the future silent…


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

The Doctor was in bed and Ace was sitting beside him, her chair up close to his bed as she kept a tight hold on his hand.

"I feel as if the last couple of hours have gone by too quickly."

He looked up at her as he rested against his pillows.

"Time has a way of doing that when you're having fun."

"That's not funny." Ace replied.

"I know," he replied with a sigh, "I wish it was, though."

And then pain registered on his face, and Ace swore she felt it too as the needle bit into a vein in his arm and Carla began to draw some blood.

"Are you okay?"

Ace sounded scared, and it showed in her eyes too, and that worried him greatly.

"It's only a blood sample. It stings. I can live with that."

Ace said nothing in reply as she kept a firm grip on his hand.

Carla drew out the needle and cleaned the puncture and gave it a short burst of sealing spray. The Doctor felt a slight burning sensation, but sealing a needle mark was not as painful as sealing his larger wounds.

"I need this blood sample to compare to later ones after the treatment has begun," Carla told him, "You need to get used to this – I'll have to take blood from you every forty-eight hours."

She left the room with the sample and Ace looked intently at him.

"Does it still hurt?"

"No!" he exclaimed, "I won't know what real pain is until she starts the anti toxin. _Please stop this_."

"Stop what?"

The look in his eyes intensified.

"Stop worrying about me, just stop it. I have enough to handle without worrying about your emotional stability. If you're hurting, so am I. I don't need to take that on. I don't need extra pain. If you can't cope, you shouldn't be here."

His words had stunned her.

"Professor, are you saying you want me to go?"

"No, I'm just saying I want you to cope with as much as you can handle, and no more. I can't bear to watch you weep, Ace."

She nodded slowly.

"I get what you mean. And I will be okay, I promise."

Then Carla returned and Ace felt a creeping sense of fear spreading slowly through her bones as she watched her begin to set up the formula via an intravenous line.

"So this is it?" he asked her.

Dr Bailey turned his arm over and ran a finger across skin bruised with needle marks left from previous blood tests as she sought out the right vein.

"Yes, this is the first part of the treatment. You'll have the first three drugs slowly introduced over the next forty-eight hours, after that we can begin the rest of the treatment. That's when it gets worse. You'll feel a mild burning sensation as the IV gets going, and then the pain will increase. I've added a sedative to help you sleep for a couple of hours, it's the best I can do for now – hold still."

The Doctor drew in a sharp breath as the needles hollow point pierced his flesh and entered a vein.

Ace swore every line on the Doctor's face had just deepened as pain registered on his face, and she swept a hand over his hair and kissed his cheek.

"It's going to be okay," she said softly, and then she got up and walked over to the window, turning her back as she wiped away tears she didn't want him to see.

Carla had finished setting up the line. The formula was slowly feeding into his bloodstream now, along with a sedative that made his eyes grow blinked as the room turned blurred and as his mind drifted, he wondered why he felt a creeping pain start to spread as if fire had just entered his bloodstream.

"_It hurts…"_ he murmured, _"Turn it off, Carla…. make it stop, please…I think I just changed my mind…I hate pain."_

"It's the anti toxin," she reminded him, "I can't make it stop, you won't survive without it."

He focused on her face and smiled as she came into misty focus, and he thought how pretty she was with her soft features framed by her dark hair.

He recalled they had kissed once.

_He wanted to kiss her again. _

It was a thought that had crossed his mind before, but now he could see it clearly in his mind, the image of him holding her and their lips touching, and he knew the drugs were not helping his efforts to _not_ think of her in that way, but he was floating just above a river of fire and she was holding him there, just out of reach of the flames.

"_Thank you,"_ he whispered.

"What for?" she asked.

"For not giving up. For keeping me alive…"

"Don't thank me yet, Doctor," she told him, "You've got a hard fight ahead of you."

He gave a sigh.

"I know that. Just wake me up when it's over."

Then his eyes grew heavy once more and he slipped into a heavy sleep.

Ace had turned back to his bedside, and she took hold of his hand once more, even though he had now slipped into a drug induced slumber.

"Do you think he meant that? He said he wanted you to stop."

"It's just the medication," Carla replied, "It's making him ramble. I can't keep him sedated for long, this is just to keep him rested and save his strength."

And then she began to take wires from the machinery beside the bed and hook him up to monitors.

Ace watched as he slept on, breathing deeply, oblivious to the powerful medication that was being fed into his body.

"When he wakes, he will be in a considerable discomfort," Carla told her as she switched on the final monitor, "Expect him to be shivering, feeling cold – probably sick, too. The main problem will be the pain. He's going to feel that deeply for the next couple of days. But once the dose is completed and line comes out, he will start to feel stronger."

"So he will be over the worst of it?"

Ace had sounded desperate for that promise, and Carla gave a sigh as she shook her head.

"I did briefly cover this with both of you before – no Ace, he then has to undergo two weeks of intravenous treatment to deliver the rest of the formula. It's going to make him very ill. He's going to be vomiting, losing weight, there's a risk of a strain on his hearts – it's going to be very tough. I'm pumping his body with poison to destroy a poison. He might also develop skin irritation, I'm hoping the anti toxin will start to reduce the poison by then, so the wounds and the skin problems will be able to heal. If he can get his ability to heal back, that's a huge step forward, and then I can take the implants out. The aim is to get the toxin levels down below thirty percent, and then he can get on with life and be free of pain and all the other problems – until the levels rise again. I don't know how long that will take, it could be a month or it could be a year. There's no way of knowing in advance."

"And then what?" Ace asked quietly.

"And then he has to do this all over gain to buy some more time," Carla replied, "Those electrical implants won't last much longer, they will fail soon. This treatment is his only hope in absence of an antidote."

Ace looked down at her Professor and her eyes stung with tears. She remembered he didn't want her to cry and managed to hold it back.

"How long will he be asleep?"

"At least a couple of hours. Expect him to be a bit hazy when he wakes – that's the drugs. He's going to be a bit cloudy in his thinking until this treatment is over."

Ace nodded.

"I'm not surprised," she said, and she reached out and gently ran her fingers through his hair, stroking the soft dark curls at the back of his neck as he slept on.

"He looks so peaceful. I wish he didn't have to suffer when he wakes up."

Her gaze was focussed on the Doctor as she continued to use every ounce of determination not to cry.

"But you can give him something for the pain once you know its working, right?"

"Yes," Carla replied, "As soon as I know it's working like it should I can start adding pain relief to the formula and that will make a huge difference to him."

Ace was still looking intently at him as she stroked his hair.

"That's good, I want him to stop hurting, I think that's the hardest part for me," she said quietly, "I love him. I don't want him to be in so much pain. I'd change places with him if I could, I'd spare him all of this."

Her voice sounded broken with grief.

"He's going to need a lot of help," Carla said gently, "He's going to be very weak. And expect him to sleep a lot, even when the treatment is over. And the second infusion of formula might make some of his hair fall out. It may or may not be noticeable. You might want to cut it for him before the second treatment, you will need to talk to him about that, see how he feels. And when he's well enough to leave he will _still _need your support. I'll have to teach you how to take blood for him and measure the toxin levels… Ace, did you hear what I said?"

She didn't look up at Carla as her eyes stung with tears that almost blinded her. She was still stroking his hair.

"I heard you…"

Then she got up and leaned over him, kissing his cheek as she whispered something to him that Carla didn't catch.

Then she blinked furiously, holding back her tears.

_"I'll be back soon…I need some air…"_

As she hurried from the room, Carla looked down at the sleeping Timelord and hoped Ace would be able to hold herself together, because soon the Doctor would need her - and she would be no support at all if she couldn't stay strong…

* * *

Lexi Dixon was relaxing in her private apartment across the other side of the first floor when she hear a beep from the communication device.

She smiled and rolled over without spilling her afternoon glass of wine and grabbed the remote control, eagerly switching on the screen as she sat on her bed.

"Afternoon greetings, my loved one!" said Venx, "I am cruising through deep space on autopilot."

And he smiled.

"I have a treat for you!"

She looked back at the screen excitedly.

_"Do it!"_

He began to remove his Sontaran uniform.

Lexi brought her hand to her mouth and bit on her knuckle.

"Do you _have_ to take your time?"

He laughed softly.

"Patience, weak-willed human… a sight of fine Sontaran manhood awaits you!"

And then a second beep sounded.

She put down her wine glass heavily as a look of annoyance made the shine in her eyes vanish.

"Wait…I'll be two seconds…I've got another call coming in…"

She hit a button to minimise the screen and opened up a second channel.

"Yes?" she demanded sharply as she glared at a sales assistant from earth.

"This is complimentary call from Interspace Communications, do you have five minutes to take a survey regarding your rating of our network?"

"_No!"_ she snapped, and switched off the channel sharply, then swore under her breath as she bumped her elbow against the bedside table and sent the wine glass toppling.

"I won't be a minute!" she called out, and left the screen on minimise as she got off the bed and grabbed a tissue to mop up the spill, then she snatched up the glass and hurried from the room, went into the kitchen and opened the fridge.

"Bloody hell!" she said loudly, seeing the empty space and recalling she had thrown away the finished wine bottle.

"_Staff kitchen!"_ she then exclaimed, and dashed with the glass in her hand from her apartment, hit the call button and got into the lift.

* * *

Ace had hurried from the Doctor's room and broke into a run as she reached the corridor.

As she ran she sobbed, letting out so much pain it seemed as if she would never be able to stop weeping.

And then she was through the doors and out of the sick bay, running on down to the other end of the corridor, and straight through an open doorway.

It was then she finally came to a stop, drawing in a heavy breath as she wiped her reddened eyes.

Ace looked around and found herself in a smartly furnished apartment.

"Hello?" she said, walking through the front room and into a hallway.

"_Hurry up!"_ called a male voice, _"This is urgent!"_

She frowned.

"Urgent?" she wondered, and then she recalled Lexi Dixon had claimed to be alone, and wondered who had just replied to her question. Her concern still rested with the Doctor, but she reasoned he would have investigated, and decided in his absence to save him the trouble.

She walked on down the hallway, heading for the room at the end where a bedroom door was ajar.

"Hello?" she called out again.

"I'm still here!" he exclaimed, "Hurry! This is rather spectacular!"

Ace had reached the door.

She placed her hand against it and pushed it open. A light was blinking on a darkened communications screen across the other side of the room. The system had a huge screen that dominated most of one wall, and a remote control was left in the middle of a double bed on top of neatly folded silken sheets.

"_Hurry up!"_ the voice urged again_, "I can't wait much longer!"_

Ace reached for the remote control.

She saw the screen had been minimised, and hit a button to open it up.

The picture came through at once.

Ace stared at the screen.

Her jaw dropped around the same time the remote control hit the soft-carpeted floor.

"Behold the sight of your dreams!" exclaimed a naked Sontaran, "Feast your eyes on my fine Sontaran manhood – see how keenly it rises for you!"

And he grabbed his _Sontaran manhood_ and waved it at the screen while smiling as excitement sparkled in his eyes.

Ace was still staring.

"_Urgh!_" she exclaimed in disgust, switching her gaze sharply back to his face.

Then the Sontaran blinked, and then his jaw dropped too.

"You are not _my_ revolting human!" he snapped, "What have you done with Lexi?"

"Lexi?" Ace echoed, staring firmly at his face only as he grabbed his clothing and covered himself, "You and Lexi –"

_"What are you doing in my bedroom?"_

Ace turned sharply to see Lexi Dixon standing in the doorway glaring at her, a wine glass in one hand and a bottle in the other.

"I just walked in and…"

Lexi set the bottle and the glass down on a small table next to the door and walked into the room with anger glittering in her eyes.

"You wait there!" she said, jabbing an accusing finger at Ace, and then she turned back to the screen.

"I'm so sorry," she said, "She's one of the travellers! I have no idea how she got in!"

"I shall put my clothing back on," he told her angrily, "We shall discuss this later, my love!"

And then the screen fell dark.

Lexi turned back to Ace.

"You just ruined my whole afternoon!"

Ace stared at her.

_"I ruined yours? I just saw a naked Sontaran and he waved his bits at me!"_

Lexi's eyes narrowed.

"And you can keep your eyes _off _my gorgeous Sontaran!" she said fiercely, "He's all mine!"

"And you can keep him!" Ace exclaimed, "Really, you're welcome to him… and I'm married… happily, to the Doctor. _And… I can't get the memory of that naked Sontaran out of my head – and not for the reason you think. That was the most horrible sight I've ever seen!_ _Thanks a lot…. a Sontaran? A Sontaran that waves his…Oh no, that's too weird…"_

Lexi's anger began to fade.

"Oh I see… you're one of those narrow minded people against inter-species relationships, are you?"

Ace stared at her again.

"No! But what do you want me to do, pretend I fancy him or be honest and say I think he's gross?"

"He's not gross, he's cute and special!"

Lexi had spoken defensively, and suddenly Ace found herself laughing.

"Look – it's your business. I'm not criticising your taste…I'm just saying, I've nothing against Sontarans. _I just don't want to see them naked_."

Lexi looked at her. Ace looked back at Lexi.

And then all hostility melted from Lexi's eyes.

"Have you been crying?"

The smile faded from her face as her thoughts turned back to the Doctor.

"My husband was poisoned by an old enemy," she told her, "He designed a toxin that was meant to kill him - but we met Clara Bailey – she's a specialist who can treat the poison. The problem is, she has to use poison to destroy poison. And I'm scared he's going to die. It's killing me, seeing him go through so much pain."

Ace was on the verge of tears again. Lexi made a decision to work on Venx, to persuade him _not _to kill the Doctor.

"I'm sorry about your husband," she said quietly, "I once lost someone I loved…he was killed in battle."

"Was he human?" Ace wondered.

"No, another Sontaran," she replied, but this time Ace did not want to laugh and make light of her preference as she caught a heavy shade of grief in her eyes.

"I'm sorry," she told her.

"And I'm sorry the one you love is so ill. It would kill me if anything happened to Venx. Wait there, I won't be a minute."

And then Lexi left the room briefly, but returned moments later. She held up a second wine glass.

"Care to join me?" she offered, and Ace nodded, smiling as she looked at her with eyes red and sore from too much crying.

* * *

As the Doctor opened his eyes pain cut deeply through his body and he gave a groan.

"You're okay," he heard Carla say, "I know you're hurting. I'm sorry about that, but it wont hurt forever."

He felt cold and as he shivered and the ache in his body seemed to sink deep as bones.

"I want Ace…"

She took hold of his hand and he weakly clung on to her, looking at her through drugged eyes and suddenly feeling as if he never wanted to let go.

"Ace will be back soon. She's very worried about you; this is _very_ hard on her too. She went out for a walk, she needed some air."

"I'll be okay if you stay with me…stay till she gets back."

"I won't be leaving you," she promised him, "I have to monitor you closely. And you can be sure I'll take care of you."

His vision was blurring. He blinked several times and smiled as her face came back into focus.

"If I'd met you first…" he murmured.

"Doctor?"

He closed his eyes and gave a heavy sigh.

"Forget it…I'm high…what have you put in that IV?"

"Extremely toxic drugs," she replied, "We have to fight the toxin with toxins. Fire with fire."

"Best way…" he whispered, and then he closed his eyes again and his grip on her hand slipped away.

She glanced up at the monitors and felt relieved that his vital signs were holding up well to the poison that was invading his already sick body.

Then she looked down at the Doctor and recalled what he had said to her:

_If I had met you first…_

She recalled the day he had kissed her, that kiss had come about because he had looked inside her mind and read her secret thoughts after asking what she would want to do if she had seconds left to live. Surviving the destruction of the Cassandra-Aurora still haunted her, and she was certain the guilt of living whilst all others perished would always remain heavy on her mind. But the thought burned bright that he had reminded her a common bond bound them:

_Surviving._

She gently swept her hand over his hair and noticed he was breaking out in a cold sweat – something she had already predicted.

"I _will_ take care of you," she said softly, "I won't let you die, Doctor…"

* * *

Ace was on her second glass of wine, sitting on a sofa in the front room of Lexi's apartment.

"…So what happened then?" Ace asked her. They had spent the past two hours talking, and Lexi had been surprisingly open about her exploits involving mainly small-scale fraud and a spell in prison.

"Then I met Venx," she said, "And the rest is history. We came up with a plan to rip off the environmental board and when this scam is over, that's the end – no more crime. Just me and Venx and a new life on a planet far away, somewhere a lot like this place, but hopefully where no one has ever heard of me. I just want a new start. No one has ever given me a real chance, I mean, loved me and cared about me – but Venx is different."

"Why is he different?" Ace asked her, "I thought all Sontarans were cloned? How can he be different to the others?"

"He was part of a clone batch that was tampered with by Rutan spies. Some of the batch was destroyed, deemed unfit to belong in the Sontaran empire. But Venx survived because he expressed a desire for a military career. He served in the army for a while and then gained permission to work as a pilot, ferrying batches of weapons to war zones. He expanded on the carrier ship business and eventually earned enough to leave and move to an independent shipping station where he had no pressure from Sontarans to fit in. He's just not warlike enough. He was created with a conscience and a deep ability to think independently and separate from the batch. When I say he's one in a million, I'm serious. He is, in every way. He comes across as typical Sontaran – until you get to know him."

"I wondered why he sounded so fond of you. I didn't think a Sontaran could feel that way about a human."

Lexi drained the last of her glass.

"Good thing he is different – he's the one for me. I could never go with a human male…they all look the same to me."

Ace looked at her in surprise.

"You think humans all look the same, and you go for a Sontaran, a cloned species?"

"I know it doesn't make much sense, but that's me. Do you want another drink?"

Ace shook her head.

"I can't. I have to get back to the Doctor, he should be waking up soon."

As she placed her glass on the table she pushed it away, setting a distance between her hand and the glass that had provided some warmth and a little strength. She had only had two glasses of wine, and she knew more would reduce her to a sobbing wreck – not that she was far off from going back to that anyway – and she wanted to be strong for the Doctor, even though she was certain she could never be strong enough to sit there and watch as he suffered, and feel no pain in her own heart.

She got up from the sofa.

"Thanks," she said, "For the wine and…everything, really. I needed to talk to someone."

Lexi got up too.

"I'll come with you," she said, "If you want some company."

"Thanks," Ace replied, "But I'll be okay. I just want to see him, I hate being away from him when he's so ill."

"I might stop by tomorrow," Lexi replied, and Ace smiled.

"It really has been nice to meet you properly."

"Makes a change for someone to say that!" Lexi exclaimed, and then Ace left the apartment, feeling warmer for the wine, but no more hopeful for the future as she headed back towards the corridor that led to the room where the Doctor lay sleeping as more poison was fed into his bloodstream.

* * *

As she reached his door, Ace hesitated.

She thought about all Carla had warned her to expect, and then she took in a deep breath, remembered it had been over two hours since she last cried, and concluded she had just set a new personal best in trying to stay strong.

Then she opened the door and went into the Doctors room.

Any kind of warmth and borrowed strength the drink had lent her vanished instantly.

_"Professor?"_ she said in a worried tone as she hurried over to his bedside.

"He's responding exactly how I expected him to," Carla told her as she adjusted his IV line, "He's cold, shivering, keeps waking and complaining about the pain. It's to be expected. But the good news is, he's responding well to the treatment. His vital signs are strong and steady."

Ace stepped closer to the Doctor's bed. He was pale and shivering as sweat ran down his face. He drew in a slow breath and opened his eyes and looked at her for a few seconds before his vision cleared and he recognised her.

_"Ace…"_ he whispered, _"I've missed you, my darling…. come here…"_

She grabbed his outstretched hand and it shuddered in her grip.

"I'm so cold, it hurts to my bones…"

Ace looked at the blankets on his bed and noticed the heating was turned up in this room, too.

"I can't warm you up," she said as she sat beside him, "It's the formula, it's making you feel cold."

"I wish I could regenerate," he said weakly as another shiver ran though his body, "I can't take much more of this."

And Ace blinked away tears as she looked up at Carla.

"You're killing him!" she tearfully, "He can't cope with much more of this! Give him something for the pain!"

Carla shook her head.

"I'm sorry, I can't give him any pain relief until I know if the dose is working. And I'm talking about the second dose. He has to stay like this tonight and all day tomorrow before I can take him off it for a short time. I told you this would be difficult for both of you."

Then she noticed the Doctor had slipped into a light sleep, and she lowered her voice as she spoke again.

"You have to stay strong for him, Ace. If you give up, he will give up too! You _have_ to be strong, even if you feel like falling apart. I'll be back to check on him soon."

And then Carla left the room.

Ace kept a tight grip on the Doctor's hand as she watched him sleeping, and as she blinked, tears that refused to be held back ran down her face.

_"I'm trying,"_ she whispered, _"I'm trying to be strong for you, Professor. But it's so difficult…I'm not sure I can do it…"_


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Ace remained at the Doctor's bedside.

He slept and then woke sharply in pain, only to drift off to sleep once more.

Ace tried to keep her promise to be strong, recalling the look in his eyes when he had told her if she couldn't cope he would prefer her not to be there. She watched him as he fought against the pain and her hatred for the Master grew. Then she fell asleep in the chair next to his bed and woke with a jolt, nerves jangling as she looked sharply at the Doctor.

"_Professor?"_

He was pale and sweating and as he dragged his eyes open, he looked at her with pupils wide and dark and hugely dilated.

"_I can't do this,"_ he whispered, _"It's okay now, Ace. Cry if you want to. I can't carry on…"_

His words shocked all notion of breaking down far from her thoughts as she shook her head.

"No, no, Professor! _Don't _talk like that! One more day and the first treatment is over –"

"Sooner if your blood results are good this afternoon," Carla reminded him as she stood beside his bed, "Then I'll stop the treatment for twenty-four hours to give you some time to get over it before we begin the two week course."

The Doctor looked up at her in despair.

"Carla, I can't do it. I feel like I'm dying much faster than planned because of this. I'm in so much pain I can't put it into words! I can't do this…"

Then a wave of pain cut through his body once more, making him cry out.

Ace turned to the table next to his bed and squeezed warm water out of a sponge and then began to gently dab away the sweat from his face and neck.

"You're not giving up," she said, as her voice trembled, "You can't, if you die you won't regenerate. Remember that!"

He gave a sigh, temporarily soothed by the cool sponge on his now burning skin.

"Sorry," he said, "I know I can't give up, I just wish that I could. I want it to stop."

Ace grabbed a towel and gently dried his face and neck and then his shoulders, and pulled up the covers before he started to shiver again.

"Go to sleep," she said, gently stroking his hair, "Just sleep, Professor."

He breathed out slowly, comforted by the way she had gently bathed away his sweat. As he slid back into an exhausted sleep, she looked up at Carla.

"Am I doing this right? I've never had to look after him like this before…I just want to do it right."

"You're doing fine," Carla promised her, "And taking care of him will get easier. You're doing _everything_ right."

"I might give him a proper wash when he wakes up," she said, "And then I'll change the sheet and put some more blankets on the bed. Do you think that's okay? I don't want him to start shivering again."

"I think that will be just fine," Carla told her, "He's not cold now – his fever's gone the other way, he's starting to warm up and soon he's going to be too hot. Sponging him down will make him feel much better. Well done, Ace. You're learning how to be a nurse."

Ace looked back at the Doctor as sadness clouded her eyes.

"And I'd better get used to it," she said quietly, "Because he's never going to get over this, not properly, is he?"

"I haven't given up on finding a cure," Carla told her, "And neither should you. As soon as he's recovered and feeling well he's going to be back in his Tardis and after the Master, we both know that – so he could still find information regarding the antidote."

"I hope so," Ace replied quietly, and then she continued to watch over the Doctor as he slept.

* * *

It was late in the evening on the planet Sabra when a light shot through the darkening skies that would have seemed, to anyone who had noticed, to be a shooting star. And then the wheezing groan of a materialising police box filled the air, and another Tardis landed in the wood near to the research facility.

The door opened.

"I thought you said this place was uninhabited?" said Rose Tyler.

The Ninth Doctor shook his head.

"It was supposed to be," he recalled, "But we didn't know about Lexi Dixon…"

And then he stood there, a tall man with short brown hair and bright blue eyes wearing a black leather jacket, looking towards the only building on the planet, yet thinking of something else, far off in the mists of time, back in the past, his past in another life…

Rose walked over and joined him, putting her hands in the pockets of her red leather jacket.

"I thought you wanted to show me an earth colony called Eden Earth? This is a nearby planet called Sabra. Why are we here, and who is Lexi?"

He recalled a brief conversation they had shared as the planet came into view, when he had mentioned another version of himself was down there on the planet…

"I was in my Seventh life," he told her as they walked across the field as dusk settled and night began to draw in, deepening the sky and making the stars begin to sparkle, "It was a long time ago, centuries ago…an old enemy of mine, a Timelord named the Master, tried to kill me with a toxin designed to prevent regeneration and poison me at the same time. But Ace and me met Carla Bailey… she was a brilliant doctor. She kept me alive. I ended up here, at Lexi Dixon's fake research centre…she was a con artist, but she wanted out. She wanted to start a new life with her boyfriend Venx – a Sontaran."

Rose's eyes widened.

"A Sontaran?"

"I know, the girl had strange taste but anyway, I was here…" he frowned as he stopped walking, eyes fixed on the sight of the building, "I remember I had these implants to stop the toxin progressing, but they were failing. Carla put me through days of drug therapy. It was terrible."

And he looked at Rose.

"Imagine your bones shattering and melting at the same time. That's what the worst of it felt like."

"What happened after that?" she asked quietly.

"Obviously I lived, or I wouldn't have gone on to regenerate. But it was the toughest thing I ever went through. That's why we're here. I want to go and see him."

The Doctor strode on across the field towards the building. Rose quickened her pace to catch up, and then she grabbed the sleeve of his jacket.

He turned and looked down at her.

"_Wait."_

The breeze had picked up and as it blew tendrils of golden hair in her face she ran her fingers through it, pushing it back as she looked up at him.

"This is your past. Maybe you should leave it alone, you know how it ends."

As he looked to the building in the distance, his eyes seemed to reflect the darkening clouds gathering above as night beckoned.

"I remember I was just about ready to give up. I would have welcomed death, that's how bad it was. If I can speak to him, he might feel stronger. I can give him some hope."

Then he looked down at Rose and pain replaced the sadness at recalling such harsh memories.

"I don't want to see Carla. Or Ace…I've still got all my memories, Rose. This is going to be difficult."

"Why?" she wondered.

"A lot of reasons, mostly because Ace was my wife and we had many years together. But she only had one life, and here I am, centuries later…And Carla. She fought so hard to keep me alive and I fought so hard not to…"

He paused, closing his eyes briefly and rubbing his temples before turning back to Rose with a look of frustration.

"Okay, you want to know? I tried _not_ to sleep with her – but of course I failed and I had both of them. I had an affair with Carla Bailey. And I regret what I did. I even regret saving her when her ship exploded, I changed the way it was supposed to be. The result in my own life was much regret… but it's too late to change that now. I don't want to change anything today, I can't afford to mess with it. But I _do_ want to see him. I want to look back on these memories and have a different recollection, Rose."

"Different how?" she asked.

"I want to remember my Ninth life came to see me when I was in my Seventh as proof that I'd get through it and survive. I don't want to look back and remember those white walls and the endless pain and wishing for death because I believed the treatment was killing me. I need to replace that, for me _and_ for him, do you get it?"

"Sort of…even though you're the same person."

"His life, my memories, let's make this a bit better," he replied, and then he continued to walk towards the only building on the planet of Sabra.

* * *

The light outside was fading fast.

Ace looked exhausted and shattered with worry as she sat at the Doctor's bedside and kept a tight grip on his hand. He was awake but heavily drugged, his pupils were still dilated and the blankets were off the bed now because he was starting to burn up with a high fever. Every ten minutes he would give a groan as pain registered on his face and then he would drag in a deep breath as he tried to breathe through it as he broke out in more sweat.

He was in so much pain he barely noticed as Carla took a blood sample form his arm.

"If the toxin levels have already started to fall I can take you off the IV tonight," she told him, "And no more treatment tomorrow – you can begin the two week course the day after."

"I can't take two weeks of it!" he said, "I can't, Carla…no, it's too much…"

The pain was fading again. The Doctors voice was slightly slurred as he spoke, but as he looked up at her he was clearly lucid enough to understand her.

"If the toxin levels fall below the target sooner, I can end the treatment sooner," she told him, "But that depends on your progress, it's not a promise."

For the first time since he had started the treatment, she saw a spark of hope in his eyes.

"I may not have to go through this for fourteen days?"

"Maybe not," she replied, "I have no way of predicting how fast the anti toxin will start working."

The Doctor looked at Ace and started to smile.

"This could be over sooner than I think –"

He caught his breath, tensing as more pain shot through his body.

Ace placed her hands on his shoulders and settled him against his pillow.

"It's okay," she whispered softly, "No more pain soon, Professor."

"Yes," he murmured, feeling weak from the pain that had just claimed his body, "No more pain…it's over soon…good. I _want _it to be over."

Then his vision blurred again and he closed his eyes, breathing heavily as he tried to rest and more sweat ran from his body.

"How soon will we know the result of the blood test?" Ace asked her.

"I'm going to run it now," Carla told her, "It won't take long."

Then she left the room and Ace gently brought the Doctors hand to her lips and kissed it as he continued to sleep.

"_It's going to be good news,"_ she whispered_, "It has to be…"_

* * *

The Ninth Doctor rang the bell.

Rose stood beside him and shivered as the night air turned sharp.

Then Lexi activated the communication screen.

"Who are you?" she said in alarm.

He leaned closer to the camera.

"I'm the Doctor, another one," he said brightly as he waved at the camera, "Hello!"

Moments later the door opened.

Lexi stared at him.

"The Doctor is up in the medical facility with his wife. You're _not _the Doctor!"

"There are quite a few of me," he told her, stepping past her and gesturing to Rose to follow, "I can regenerate – he's my Seventh life, I'm his Ninth. I was about to show my friend Rose the planet of Eden Earth – and then I picked up a signal and realised another Tardis was landed on a nearby planet. As soon as I knew it was Sabra I remembered why it was there. I need to see him."

She looked at him in utter confusion.

"Who?"

"Me. I need to see the other Doctor – little bloke, has a brolly with a red question mark handle, probably looks terrible right now? I _really_ need to see him."

He looked at Lexi intently.

"Where is he? Remind me of the layout of this place because it's been a few centuries since my last visit."

Lexi pointed to the lift.

"First floor, turn left…follow the signs."

He smiled broadly.

"Thank you!" he said warmly, and then he grabbed Rose Tyler by the hand and led her over to the lift and hit the call button.

* * *

The wait had seemed to take forever as Ace wondered what the outcome of the blood test would be.

The Doctor was still sleeping when Carla returned.

"So what's the result?" she asked anxiously.

And the Doctor heard her voice and woke up, but kept his eyes closed as he silently hoped for good news.

Carla paused for thought as she disconnected the IV line, and then she turned back to Ace and explained as gently as she could.

"I was hoping the toxin levels would already start to fall to at least seventy percent," she told her, "As you know the level of toxin in his blood was eighty-five percent before we started treatment. And I'm sorry, I'm so sorry but so far the toxin has only dropped by three percent. That's barely a dent in the level at all. But the second treatment is much longer, with a wider range of chemicals that ought to react in such a way that the toxin should be beaten back to around thirty percent – that's what I'm hoping for. It's going to be much worse than what he's just been through and will last much longer, but this really is his only hope_. If it doesn't work, he will die when the implants fail_."

Ace saw tears glazing her eyes.

"I'm trying," she said to her, "There is nothing else I can do for him. This really is his last chance. All we can do is go ahead with the drug therapy and hope for the best."

Ace stifled a sob and as she spoke up her voice was broken with emotion.

"It didn't work, and you want to try him on _another_ lot of drugs? _More _poison in his body? _Look at him, Carla – he's dying!_"

And the Doctor opened his eyes and turned his head to look at Ace.

"Don't cry," he whispered, "Ace…it's okay…please don't cry."

And he squeezed her hand, but she gave another sob and then fell forward, pressing her cheek against his shoulder.

The Doctor reached up and weakly ran his hand over her hair.

"It's all right my love," he said gently, "Everyone dies one day, even me…I'm not afraid now, not for me. But I _am_ afraid for you, without me."

"_I don't want you to die Professor,"_ she wept, _"Please don't leave me, don't ever leave me, I love you…" _

She was clinging to him as she sobbed like a frightened child.

And Carla felt awkward as she stood there while Ace sobbed and the Doctor used every ounce of his strength to stay strong for her sake.

"I will need to talk to you later on about the next phase of treatment," she told him, "After the result we got with stage one I would understand if you decide not to processed, but it really is your only chance as the situation currently stands."

"We'll talk later," he said softly, stroking Ace's hair as he looked up at Carla, "Just leave us now, we need some time alone."

Carla nodded.

"Of course," she said, and she walked away, leaving the Doctor to comfort his sobbing wife.

* * *

Carla was feeling heavy in her heart as she walked out of his room, wondering if the next stage of treatment would prove equally futile. She had grown close to the Doctor, perhaps closer than she cared to admit, she certainly knew her feelings had grown for him in her heart – and she knew he would _not_ be there for her like he was for Ace, the Doctor would not be there when she shut herself away in her office with a stiff drink, thought of the sick Timelord she could not save and wept until her tears had run dry…

He was still on her mind as she turned into the corridor and collided sharply with a tall man in a leather jacket.

The man stepped back, staring at her with an intense expression set in his eyes. He had a companion beside him, a shorter, blonde woman, who was not staring at her with the same kind of burning intensity as the man she had collided with.

"Carla!" he said, and she stared back at him.

"How do you know my name? I've never seen you before…"

"I'm the Doctor," he told her, "I'm a future regeneration of the man _you_ know as the Doctor. I was passing by on the way to Eden Earth with Rose and I noticed there was another Tardis nearby. Then I remembered this planet was Sabra."

His voice was hushed as he spoke again, briefly looking away to avoid looking into eyes that brought back so many memories.

"I can't tell you how he survives because I really mustn't mess with this timeline - but obviously, I wouldn't be here if that wasn't; the case. I think he would really benefit from seeing me. I can give him hope."

And he looked back at her, into eyes he once thought he would never look into again.

"_I need to see him, Carla. I'm living proof he's not going to die."_

She looked at him with uncertainty set in her eyes.

"How can I be sure you're another version of him?"

He gave a sigh of impatience, and then anger flickered in his eyes.

"_Look, I'm him, okay? I remember how I felt after the first forty-eight hours of anti toxin, when you told me the toxic levels in my body had only gone down by three per cent. I felt crushed and hopeless, and Ace was crying in my arms and I was more worried for her than me because all I could think –"_

He paused, drawing in a slow breath, forcing himself to calm down and lower his voice because he had just raised it, and then he continued in a lower, calmer tone:

"Because all I could think was, how could she carry on without me?"

Carla's eyes widened.

"That's just happened…"

"Where is he?"

She pointed towards the double doors that led to the medical centre.

"Private room near the end of the hall –"

"_Thanks."_

He grabbed his companion's hand and the two of them hurried towards the double doors.

As he walked away, his words began to sink in and Carla started to smile. He was a future regeneration of the Doctor. She knew it for sure now – he was going to survive, or this other regeneration would _not_ be here…

* * *

As he lay in bed and Ace sat beside him with her arms around him as she rested her head on his shoulder, the Doctor spoke to her gently as he continued to stroke her hair. She was leaning against the arm that had taken the IV line and it was aching but he couldn't bring himself to tell her to move. She had stopped crying now and simply clung to him, breathing in short, sharp bursts as she tried to calm herself.

"It's going to be fine," he said softly, " We have each other, we have to be glad for all we have shared, not what we could be losing. I'm going to fight this, Ace. I'm not giving up yet. I still have the implants for a short while, they wont wear out yet – so I still have a few months left if the second phase of treatment fails."

"_It won't."_

The Doctor looked up and stared at the tall stranger in the leather jacket who stood in his room. Beside him was a shorter blonde woman, and she smiled at him.

"Hello Doctor," she said, "I'm Rose."

Ace raised her head from his shoulder and looked at the two strangers who had entered the room without knocking.

"Who are you?" she demanded.

He stepped forward and looked down at his Seventh regeneration.

"_I'm the Doctor," _he stated_, "I'm you, two regenerations from now. And obviously I wouldn't be here if you didn't make it. So keep fighting, because you're going to survive."_

The Doctor gently pushed Ace's arm away from his shoulder and sat up, blinking eyes that were still showing signs of being heavily drugged.

"_You're me?"_

The Ninth Doctor smiled as he caught a spark of recognition in the Seventh Doctor's eyes.

"We always know ourselves when we meet for the first time!" he exclaimed, "You know, don't you, you do know it really is me?"

"Yes, I can tell…" He started to smile. "When do I get out of here? I just want to get back to the Tardis and back to my normal life!"

Ace looked from the Professor to the other Doctor and started to smile too.

"He lives?"

The Ninth Doctor nodded.

"Yeah, of _course_ he does! And it's so good to see you again, Ace."

He smiled as he looked at her, and then he turned back to his former self.

"It's going to be rough. Expect more pain. But you won't need the treatment as long as Carla's expecting you to need it. And a cure is not far off. But I can't tell you more. I want to, but I can't risk messing up the timeline, I hope you understand."

"No, I don't understand!" Ace exclaimed, "_Tell _us!"

"No he's right, Ace, " the Doctor said to her, "He doesn't need to change anything – it turns out as it should. Best way to leave it."

The Ninth Doctor stepped closer to his bed.

"Listen to me – I remember what that second dose of anti toxin was like. _Don't give up_. You're almost through this now, and you _have_ to do it - or the cure, when it's found – won't work. You have to use the anti toxin to push the poison level down past thirty percent. The rest is easy."

And then he put his arms around his former self and gave him a gentle hug.

"You'll be okay," he promised, "Trust me."

"Thank you so much," the Doctor said as he looked at his future self and all fears for the future melted away.

"No problem," the Ninth Doctor replied, "Listen, me and Rose are off to Eden Earth. I might come back in a couple of months time – just in case you decide to pay anther visit - don't worry, if you do it's purely a social call – but it might be worth us meeting up again."

"What for?" the Doctor asked.

"Tell you later." He paused to check his watch, "But it might be worth your while. We have to go now. I shouldn't be here, I just wanted to stop by and tell you it's going to turn out okay, mainly because I remember what I went through when I was you, and I know I needed someone to give me hope. So I did it. And be nice to Audrey next time you see her. She's not the dragon you think she is."

The Doctor's eyes widened as he recalled Ace's mother – over the past few years they had paid the occasional visit to her, and each time Audrey had been very frosty towards him, mistrusting his motives as an older man for taking on what she had been led to believe was merely a travelling lifestyle – with her _much_ younger daughter…

"She hates me!" he exclaimed.

"And I don't get on with her too well either!" Ace exclaimed.

The Ninth Doctor shook his head.

"It's all in the past. You'll find out. And Ace, you really do need a break from all this. The Doctor won't say it, but he wishes you'd go home for a few days, to get some rest and get your head back together. It's best if you explain before you send her away, Doctor."

Ace looked sharply at him.

"Professor?"

He gave a sigh.

"I was going to talk to you about that. I was planning to take you home for a few days tomorrow, so you don't have to watch me go through the next phase of the treatment. I'd be happier if you did, darling."

"You should listen to him," The Ninth Doctor added, "Trust me, it all turns out okay. And by the way, Easter Sunday's going to be fantastic!"

And he smiled.

Ace and the Doctor exchanged a puzzled glance.

"That's next year…" Ace said.

The Doctor took hold of her hands and looked into her eyes.

"Ace, he's right. I would be happier if you had a short break from all this. It would mean a lot to me."

She fought back tears as she shook her head.

"I can't leave you."

"You must," he told her, "Let me get through the next few days, have a rest and recover and then I'll come back for you. Your mother hasn't seen you for a year. Just spend a few days with her. _Do it for me_."

She looked into his eyes and reluctantly nodded.

"Okay Professor… I'll do it for you."

He leaned closer and kissed her, and then he let go of her hands.

"Grab your rucksack and go with the other me and Rose."

Ace blinked.

"_You want me to leave now?"_

"I'm too weak to get up and fly the Tardis," he told her, and then he glanced at his future self.

"Take her to May 1st 1994, " he said, "That makes it a year since Ace last went home. I'll pick her up later."

Ace lifted her rucksack and paused to look back at the Doctor.

"I love you Professor," she said, feeling sure she was only agreeing to do this because she knew the outcome would be okay, otherwise she would never have left his side.

"I love you too," he said warmly, "I love you even more for doing this. Now I don't have to watch you cry!"

She followed the Ninth Doctor and Rose to the door and then looked back.

"I'll be thinking of you all the time."

"Happy thoughts _only_, please Ace," he reminded her.

She wanted to cry all over again.

"_Happy thoughts," _she agreed as her eyes filled with tears, and then she was gone and the door closed behind her, and the Doctor lay back against his pillows as tiredness swept over him. He gave a sigh as aches and pains flickered through his body but as he slipped into a deep restful sleep, there was a smile on his face because now he knew for certain, _nothing _was quite as bad as it seemed…


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Ace stood in the vast console room and looked around, then up, and then around again, and finally she went over to the console.

"This looks nothing like the Tardis I know," she said quietly.

The Ninth Doctor looked up from the console and smiled.

"I redecorated in a big way!"

Ace suddenly felt alone, and an ache began to grow in her heart as she thought of her Professor.

"Are you okay?"

Rose closed her hand gently over her arm, and Ace turned to her and looked into her eyes, saw such kindness there and started to cry.

"I don't think I should go, I keep thinking of him on his own without me –"

"We're already in flight," the Doctor said, "We'll be in Perivale in a few minutes. Ace, I remember how I felt back then, when I was him. It ripped me up inside to see you so upset, it really did. It made me feel worse. In many ways I felt better off fighting the toxin on my own."

She looked at him in confusion.

"But I love him, I should be with him –"

"Not if you can't handle it," he told her, stepping away from the console and joining her and Rose, "I know I'm right. I've had many faces and with each face different aspects of me have prominent – but I'm always the same man deep down inside, I'm always the Doctor and that part of me remains the same – I remember how I felt back then, and I'd feel the same way now. I _know_ I didn't make the wrong choice."

Then his eyes softened as he reached for her and placed his hands on her shoulders.

Rose stepped back, turning to the console as she suddenly felt pushed out, but then she reasoned that hanging around with a many centuries old Timelord would mean he _had _to bump into an old flame once in a while…

"And I remember you used to call me Professor. I loved to hear you call me that!"

"It's hard to believe you're him – you look so different," Ace told him.

He leaned closer to her, keeping his hands on her shoulders.

_"Look into my eyes and don't look away, just for a minute…"_

Ace looked deeply into his eyes. As she looked deeper his eyes seemed to change, the iris shifting until she was looking into the eyes of the man she loved once more.

She drew in a sharp breath.

_"I can see him in you!"_

He smiled and playfully touched the tip of her nose just like the Professor often did.

"He's still in here," he told her softly, tapping a finger to his temple.

Her eyes widened.

"Tell me! What did he do after I left? Did he miss me, did he suffer?"

He took his hands off her shoulders and stepped back, He blinked and all trace of her Professor was gone from his eyes.

"Your Professor got on with the treatment," he told her, "It wasn't easy but he got through it. And if you really want some good news, I know for a fact he won't be hooked up to that IV for the next fourteen days. He comes to fetch you back _much_ sooner than you expect."

Hope shone in her eyes.

As she started to smile, he felt his twin hearts ache for a long ago love as he smiled back at her.

"Okay," he said softly, "You want to know? I'll tell you. The anti toxin takes five days to work. Five, _not_ fourteen. And the treatment _is_ very rough on him and it's another three days before he's well enough to come and pick you up in the Tardis. But he will be back on his feet in eight day's time and the first thing he'll do is come and get you."

Her smile faded.

"You said it's rough on him, rough in what way?"

The Ninth Doctor hesitated.

"Just be glad you won't be apart as long as you expected."

"No!" she said defiantly, "I want to know!"

"And now I remember how _persistent_ you used to be when you wanted the truth…okay, I'll tell you. But I don't want you crying over him. I didn't want it then when I was him, and I still don't want it now!"

Ace looked at him intently.

"Just tell me," she said in a hushed voice.

And Rose turned away from the console and looked at the man she knew as the Doctor and found herself blinking away tears; she had never imagined there had been a time, even in another life, when he had been so desperately ill…

"The anti toxin will work rapidly," he told her, "But he's going to go through a lot of pain, fever, vomiting, and it's going to be severe. You'll be shocked that he can lose so much weight in the space of eight days. And he will lose some of his hair and he does get it cut - but please don't get upset about it – I remember, I wasn't bothered by it at all until you cried over it, so can you _please_ try and change that this time around?"

Ace nodded.

"Okay…I'll try not to get upset."

"When you see him again," he said, "He will look like he's been through a lot, but at the same time, he will be so much better. And he's going to recover fast. The toxin levels in his bloodstream do rise again, but by the time that starts up, it's still low enough to respond to the cure. And the cure works, it will wipe the virus from his body forever."

Ace stared at him.

"What is the cure?"

"I can't tell you that," he replied, "I can't risk the timeline. But it turns out okay. That's all you need to know. Trust me, he's going to recover. But he will be a bit weak for a while; it's going to take a couple of months for him to get over everything he's been through. But in a matter of a few short weeks he's going to look just like your Professor again."

"So he makes a full recovery?" Ace still sounded worried.

"Yes he does."

And he turned away and threw a switch on the console.

"Right, you're back in Perivale. Time to go, Ace…"

"_No."_

He gave a weary sigh, recalling many conversations that had taken place a few regenerations back that had been identical to this one – Ace never let up until she got all the answers…

"What's the matter? I've told you everything."

"No, you haven't. I can see it in your eyes. Like you said, you're him. And I can _always_ tell when he's hiding something from me!"

He paused for thought and then nodded.

"All right, I'll tell you. It's like this: The anti toxin is very powerful, even for a Timelord to handle. Your Professor has a rather colourful reputation in the opinion of his other selves. Some like him, some don't. Some think he's shifty and manipulating and a keeper of dark secrets. But we all agree on one thing – we all respect him for the way he fought back against the Master's toxin. I respect him a lot, I think he's got guts. I look back on what he went through and I'd rather regenerate than suffer like that!"

She shook her head.

"I don't get it…you're still not giving me an answer."

"Just be thankful you've still got him, that he gets through this and recovers. He couldn't have done it without the treatment lowering the toxin levels to a point where it was weak enough for the cure to wipe it out. Just enjoy the fact that you can wake up next to him every day for the rest of your life. _Don't wish for the things you can't have_."

"Like what?" Ace asked.

He glanced to Rose, who was also looking at him intently, and then he turned back to Ace.

"The anti toxin's effects will stay with him for the rest of his life. The damage can't be undone until he regenerates. You won't be able to have a family, the drugs will destroy his fertility. You can make love with him forever but you'll never have his children. Sorry, but you wanted the truth."

"We haven't talked about children yet," she said quietly.

"Well don't," he told her, "Leave it alone. He's going to have that one regret forever, that you and him could never have a family. Just don't dwell on it."

And then he put his arm around her and led her to the door of the Tardis.

"Just think about him coming back in the Tardis when the hardest fight of his life is over and all he wants to do is hold you in his arms, that's all that matters – _you don't lose him_."

And then he opened the door and she stepped outside.

"Remember what he said," he told her, "Happy thoughts, Ace, forget about the rest."

She nodded, and then he smiled.

"Eight days," he reminded her, "It's not long to wait."

He closed the door of the Tardis and she turned away as it vanished once more.

And then Ace took in a deep breath, clung to the fact that her Professor would be coming back, and then she walked slowly along the tree-lined street as she wondered what her mother would say when she opened the door and found her standing there on the doorstep…

* * *

As the Doctor woke from sleep, he opened his eyes and felt cautiously relieved that the aches in his bones seemed to have gone.

And then as he saw Carla at his bedside, he smiled.

"I'm feeling better already."

"You've been asleep for twelve hours," she told him, "We have to start the main treatment tomorrow. I hope you're ready for this."

And he patted the edge of his bed.

"Come and sit down with me, if you've got time – I need to talk to you, Carla."

She sat down and looked at him fondly, and as their eyes met she felt a sudden ache in her heart as she pictured the worst outcome, the anti toxin having no effect – and she quickly dashed that thought away, because he had been troubled enough seeing Ace shed tears and he certainly didn't need her doing it too…

"What's on your mind, Doctor?" she asked him.

"I found that first treatment very hard to deal with. I'm not sure I can take any more of it."

And then he fell silent as he looked into her eyes, waiting for a response.

"No, you _did_ cope," she told him, "You had no complications, you came through it well. If you back out now, all you have left is the implants and when they fail – which will be a matter of months – you're out of options."

"If I can't handle the treatment once it's started, I'm still out of options."

"You have to try."

She took hold of his hand. He gently held on to it, looking down at her slender fingers and suddenly feeling as if he never wanted her to let go. His emotions were overwhelming him, and he had not expected that to happen.

"You've done so much for me," he told her, "And I appreciate every single effort you've made to keep me alive. You didn't give up even when I wanted to give up. _No matter when I die, I still owe this extra time to you_."

She smiled briefly, avoiding his gaze as his dark eyes met hers and the look lingered and she suddenly felt too aware of their closeness.

"I'm determined to save you," she said softly, "I couldn't bear to lose you, Doctor."

And then she let go of his hand, hoping she had not said too much, and swiftly changed the subject as she met his gaze once more.

"Where's Ace? I wanted to talk to you both about the side effects of the anti toxin."

"She went back to earth," he replied.

Carla shot him a look of surprise.

"When?"

"A few hours ago, when another Doctor came to visit. He took her home to earth in his Tardis. I asked her to leave, she wasn't coping. I'll pick her up when the treatments over."

"I wanted to talk to you both."

"Well you'll just have to talk to me instead."

She didn't delay all she had to explain.

"I don't know if you and Ace have thought about starting a family, but it's not going to happen after you've had the anti toxin. It causes sterility."

The Doctor briefly closed his eyes as he drew in a slow breath.

"Oh well, I can't miss what I don't have. And Ace has never mentioned starting a family. I was diagnosed as terminal when we married. We didn't exactly bother planning for a future."

And then he looked back at Carla.

"Like you said, this is my only chance. I have to take it. I just want to have my life back with Ace. That's my _only _ambition now."

"And you will have lots of time with her," Carla promised him, "I'll make sure of it."

"So that's all I have to worry about?" he asked her "Everything else is covered?"

"You might lose some hair due to the anti toxin. It might not be severe, it could be minimal, but it will definitely be less noticeable if you have it cut. Do you want me to do that for you, or not?"

"_Something else for her to cry over," _he said quietly, and then he ran a hand over his dark hair.

"I'm really not bothered about it – but if I look a bit better for Ace when she sees me again, then yes, I think I should have it cut."

"I'll do that for you later tonight," she told him, "There's no need to do it just yet. You try and get some rest, I'll bring you some dinner in a couple of hours."

"I don't feel like eating."

"You have to try," she told him, "You need to save your strength."

As she left the room the Doctor gave a sigh and wondered how he could face food after how sick he had felt such a short time ago. Then he turned his gaze to the window and looked out across the rolling fields to the place where land gave way to sea and then sea met with horizon. His thoughts stretched far beyond this planet as he thought of the distance as nothing, a short flight in the Tardis – and there was Ace, on Earth and without him.

"_I miss you,"_ he murmured_, "But I'll see you soon, I promise."_

And then he stopped thinking of Ace, because he wanted to face these difficult days without being weighed down by extra concerns. He closed his eyes and decided to try and grab some more sleep, because even though resting and sleeping was a boring way to spend the day, he knew it was necessary, because strength was precious and soon he would need every last reserve to get him through the treatment.

* * *

Ace had lingered on the doorstep before she pressed the bell.

She had thought of her difficult relationship with her mother, of how they had never seen eye to eye on anything, of how she had rebelled…No doubt her rebellion had hurt her other, she could see that now she stood here a young woman in her twenties, it was easy to look back and understand… But it didn't make seeing her again any easier.

She had tried to mend bridges over the years. But her mother still gave her the _here comes trouble_ look, and of course, she did not like the Professor. Ace had told her he was a traveller, and she travelled with him. She had also said the Doctor's name was John Smith and he was a scientist. She had omitted the part about him being alien – there were some things her mother didn't need to know, because that really would have tipped the balance for her, it was enough that she had already decided long ago that Dorothy's Professor was a dirty old man who had a young woman under his spell…

Ace made a silent vow not to fight with her this time. She didn't understand, and she never would. Quarrelling about her choice of partner was pointless because it would change nothing, and if she didn't like the sight of the ring on her finger, she would have to live with it, because there was no way she was taking it off – _ever_.

The door opened.

Audrey stood there in pale jeans and a white blouse. Her streaked blonde hair was tied back and the trace of mascara she wore did nothing to brighten up her eyes as she looked wearily at Ace.

"Let me guess… you've had a quarrel. Or did he throw you out? Or has he found another woman?"

Ace looked at her mother. Then her eyes filled with tears.

She shook her head, still looking at her as words failed her.

"What's happened?"

That judgmental look was gone as Audrey saw real pain in her daughter's eyes, the kind that ran deep, the kind that frightened her, to see such sadness in the eyes of her own daughter.

"Ace?" she said, "What is it, what's happened?"

"He's ill," she replied in a hushed voice, "He's really ill, mum…"

And then she dropped her rucksack on the porch and put her arms around her mother, who said nothing as she embraced her daughter, wondering just how bad this situation was, because she was crying on her shoulder, and it was rare for Ace to cry over anything at all…

* * *

Moments later Ace was in the front room and her mother was beside her on the sofa.

"So what's happened?" she asked gently, not wanting to jump to more wrong conclusions, because she knew that look, and it was one of such deep pain that it was not something to be taken lightly – something major had happened…

"Its hard to explain," Ace began, trying to find a way to tell her everything _without_ including the fact that her Professor was actually from outer space.

Audrey got up.

"I'll make us some tea," she said, "Then you can tell me everything – including when you got that wedding ring. I don't recall being invited."

As her mother left the room Ace put her head in her hands and gave sigh of despair. She hadn't thought about anything but carrying out the Doctor's wishes, purely to make him happy. He had wanted her to come and see her mother, and so she had done it, but now she was here, it seemed there was too much to explain. At least having to find explanations pushed away her thoughts of worry for the man she loved, and of how far apart they were now, separated by space and time…

When her mother came back into the room she set the tea down on the table and then sat down on the sofa once more.

"Are you ready to tell me anything at all?" she asked her.

Ace slowly met her gaze. Her mother's choice of words had not been spoken harshly, but she still struggled to explain.

"The Professor was taken ill. Then he was told he was most likely dying, so we got married. Now he's having some treatment to buy him some more time. But there's no real cure, mum. There could be – there _could_ be a cure out there somewhere. I've been told there is, but we haven't found it yet. He's going through so much pain. "

Tears ran down her face.

"_He's suffering and I can't stop it!"_ she said as she gave a sob, and Audrey drew her daughter into a comforting embrace as she thought about the times she had met the Doctor and been so distant towards him, so unwelcoming, and of how she had never really got to know him, because she had never given him a chance.

"I'm so sorry, love," she said quietly, and Ace let go of her, confusion filling her tearful eyes.

"Why are you sorry? I thought you hated him!"

"I never really gave it much thought," she told her, "I just closed my mind I suppose, judged by what I saw with my own eyes. Older man, picks up a young woman…But he stayed with you. He's married you. He's so ill he could be dying and he married you. He must love you a lot. I wish I'd seen it before."

Ace wiped her eyes.

"He asked me to come home for a few days. He said he didn't want me to watch him suffer because he hated to see me cry. I feel so far away from him, I don't _want_ to be so far away…"

It was rare for Ace to see understanding in her mother's eyes, but it was certainly present now.

"Sometimes it's better to protect those you love," she said to her, "I think that's what he was trying to do. What sort of treatment is he having?"

"There's a doctor who thinks she can buy him some time with drug therapy. But the drugs are very powerful and he's going to go through a lot of pain. He doesn't want me to see that happening."

"Of course he doesn't," Audrey replied, "He wants to keep all the bad stuff away from you. I do understand that. He loves you too much to expose you to all that distress. I can understand that completely. I'd be the same, I wouldn't want those I love to witness that kind of pain, I'd feel selfish. It's natural to want to protect the people we care about. How far away is he?"

Ace had forgotten what she ought to hold back, her thoughts were on the man she loved as her heart ached, and she replied without thinking.

_"Light years…"_

Her mother sipped her tea and set it down on the table again.

"Don't be silly, Ace! You said there was a specialist who could help him, is it private or NHS? Local or the other side of the country?"

"A very long way away," she said quietly in reply as she cradled her cup in her hands and watched as the steam rose from its surface and she thought of all the times she had sat down to have tea with the Professor. He was everywhere in her thoughts, woven into the fabric of her life as if he had always been there, and belonged there eternally. There was no Ace without the Professor, no Professor without Ace…

"_Dorothy?"_

Her mother had called her name again, this time her real one instead of her nickname.

Ace looked up from her tea.

"What?"

"I said, _where_ is he? Maybe we could go and see him, or you could call him – did you tell him he could call the house? I don't mind, I know this is a serious situation."

"Me and the Professor have _always_ been a serious situation! I told you I loved him three years ago, but then it was just friendship and you couldn't understand that, you wouldn't believe me, you wouldn't listen! Why have you changed now, when we're married? _Why_ are you being so nice?"

"I _can_ be understanding, Ace – I'm not made of stone! I just said _where_ is he? Perhaps we could go and see him together."

"No…He's miles away," she said quickly, "In a private hospital."

"Well if he's got the money for that I'm sure he's getting the very best care," she replied, "And don't feel bad about leaving. He asked you to do that and he was right, he was looking out for you."

"I wasn't with him in the way you think, not until recently," Ace said in a hushed voice, "Just after we finally got together, he found out he could be dying. It's so unfair."

"And so you got married."

"He asked me. I said yes, and everything was rushed and it was nothing like I thought my wedding would be – but it meant everything to us, mum."

"I'm sorry I got it wrong, I'm sorry I got him all wrong," she told her, and then she got up from the sofa.

"I'll go upstairs and get some fresh air into your old room. You look tired, love. I think you need to catch up on your sleep."

And then Audrey left her to finish her tea and went upstairs to freshen up her daughter's old room, and while she opened windows and changed sheets, Ace stayed downstairs, drinking tea and thinking of the Professor.

* * *

When Audrey went back down stairs, she found her daughter on the sofa, hugging a cushion and sleeping deeply.

She went over to her and she picked up what was left of her now cold tea, and then she noticed Ace looked exhausted - her eyes were slightly puffy, not from the brief cry that she had just had, this was a deeper swelling, the kind of redness she saw in the eyes of a recent widow or one who was about to lose a loved one. Ace was too young to fall into either category, and yet one look at her as she slept told her that her daughter had been through too much pain since she had last seen her.

"_You sleep,"_ she whispered, _"You can't worry while you're sleeping."_

And then she picked up the tea and the left the room, closing the door behind her, leaving her daughter to sleep and forget her worries for all the time that sleep would allow her the luxury of that peace.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Lexi Dixon sat down on the edge of her bed, and then she changed her mind and went over to the communications screen and took a seat there instead – because this was _not_ the usual sort of call she made to so far away across the galaxy...

She opened up the channel and waited.

"Come on, Venx!" she impatiently, "Where are you?"

And then the image of the Sontaran appeared on the screen.

"Greetings, my repulsive human mate!" he said, and he smiled.

"Venx, this is not a social call! I need to talk to you about the Doctor."

His smile faded.

"Do not concern yourself, Lexi. I shall kill him as soon as I arrive."

"No…wait…you're thinking like a clone! Use your special, uniquely tampered with DNA and _think_ for a minute!"

He looked intently at her.

"Is this a subject worthy of debate? I should like a debate about this, if the subject is worthy of discussion."

She gave a sigh as she ran her fingers through her hair.

"Look – it's not what you think. He's _no_ threat to us!"

"But he has been an enemy of the mighty Sontaran Empire."

"Are you a clone or an individual?"

He briefly smiled as his eyes lit up with enthusiasm.

"Now _that _is worthy of debate!" he exclaimed, "Allow me to start at the point my DNA was tampered with –"

"No, Venx…that's not what I mean. Just listen to me – the Doctor is very ill. You can't kill a man who isn't fit for battle! That would be very _un_-Sontaran of you – and against your better nature. You know I'm right!"

"Why do you want me to spare him?" he asked.

Lexi looked at the screen and saw the way his beady little eyes were studying her with deep interest.

"Okay, you want to know the truth? I spoke to Ace – the woman he's married to. And she's nice, Venx! She's really nice and she told me all about what he's been through. He's extremely ill. Please don't kill him. Please arrive here with thoughts of war and fighting out of your mind, think only of kindness. I know you find such emotions difficult at times but try, for me?"

Impatience flashed in his eyes.

"Sentimental human!" he said, "I shall consider all you have said. Perhaps it is inappropriate to kill an enemy who is weak through sickness. There can be no fair battle involved."

"It's not about battles. He's not your personal enemy; you need to lay the past aside. Think of us, of our future!"

His eyes sparkled at once.

"I think constantly of our future!"

"Good!" she exclaimed, "Keep thinking about us, and forget everything else."

"I shall consider all you have said, and keep our future as the priority matter," he replied, and then the screen went dark.

Lexi continued to sit there for a moment, looking at the black screen that now only reflected her own image.

"_Please_ do the right thing, Venx," she whispered, hoping she had got through to the better part of his genetically engineered brain.

* * *

As the sun sank lower and shadows slipped across the landscape, the Doctor sat on a comfortable chair facing the window and watched as darkness began to claim the land.

_"The way those shadows creep across the fields, it reminds me so much of the way darkness can creep across the universe. I've seen a lot of evil out there. But when the sun comes up in the morning, I'll remember it's not all bad, I always do."_

As he looked at the darkening world outside he saw her reflected behind him, and as she placed her hands on his shoulders he felt her touch warm and gentle through the fabric of his shirt.

"I'm sure there's more good out there than bad," Carla replied.

"I can't answer that. I'd like to think you're right, but I've seen so much over the years. Too much, probably."

She ran her fingers through his hair and he drew in a slow breath, briefly closing his eyes as he tried to forget the kiss they had shared on board the Cassandra-Aurora.

"Are you sure about this?" she asked him.

"I'm not sure about anything," he replied as he opened his eyes and continued to look at her reflected behind him in the glass, "I keep thinking about it, what I should do, or not…"

She shifted a trolley closer and he saw it contained barbers clippers and a sharp pair of scissors. She ran her fingers through his hair again.

He was still thinking about the kiss they had shared.

"How far do you want to go?" she asked,

He briefly smiled on hearing that question.

_"All the way and get it over and done with. Perhaps then I won't keep wondering what I ought to do, what choice I should make."_

"I can't say for sure how much you stand to lose, it's not definite."

"A great deal, I should imagine," he replied, "It all depends on how much I can live with, and get away with."

And as the night sky darkened, he caught a confused look in her eyes reflected in the glass.

"How much do you want me to cut? I don't want you to lose too much, you might find the loss from the treatment is barely noticeable."

"Oh the treatment," he replied, "I was talking about something _else_."

"I don't understand."

It was there again, that innocent look in her eyes that was impossible to fake.

"The other Doctor that came to see me seems sure I'm going to survive. But he could be wrong. And I'm under no illusion about how serious this treatment is, and how it's going to affect me. Do you remember on board the Cassandra-Aurora, when I asked you what you would do if you knew you were going to die?"

She walked around the chair and stood in front of him, looking at him intently.

"You read my mind and then you kissed me."

He looked up at her.

_"I have another question for you."_

"What is it?" she asked, and as he saw such innocence in her eyes again, he wanted to put his arms around her and hold her tightly, very tightly, right before he did a thousand other things that kept tormenting his thoughts, things that would put an end to that innocence she possessed…

The Doctor drew in a slow breath.

_"I should have stayed in bed but I didn't. Why did I get dressed again?"_

Confusion filled her eyes.

"Because you felt better after dinner? Because the first course of treatment was short and you had a fast recovery?"

"Wrong answer. I _thought_ I felt better. Then I threw up twice in the bathroom, but I managed to have a shower and then I slept for another hour before I felt well enough to get dressed. You still haven't answered the question."

She looked down at the floor and her face flushed.

"I…I'm not sure what you mean…"

"Hold your hands out," he told her.

She met his gaze again, and she still seemed confused as she held out both her hands.

_"I was just checking you're not shaking," _he replied,_ "Those blades are sharp. Use the scissors. That ought to be enough for now."_

Then she placed a towel around his shoulders and took up the scissors and a comb and began to carefully cut his hair, all the while wondering what he had just been talking about, because she did not have the answer to his question – at least, she hoped she didn't. Otherwise it meant he had done a great deal of poking around on the day he had looked into her mind, and that thought was making her blush all over again…

* * *

The Ninth Doctor and Rose were on board the Tardis and heading on a course for Earth.

"So what did you think of the colony planet?" he asked her.

"Eden Earth? Yeah, it was lovely. But I'm looking forward to going home for a couple of days. It'll be nice to see my mum."

He smiled, and then he remembered something and snapped his fingers.

"Audrey! Ace's mum. Used to hate me, changed her mind and grew to love me. Audrey's great, she saved my marriage. I'll have to go back and look her up one of these days."

Rose started to smile.

"Sounds like your Seventh self got himself into quite a bit of trouble. I hope you're not like that."

Sadness shaded his eyes as he leaned against the console and looked out to the blackness of space.

"There was no point in me telling him to leave Carla Bailey alone. He wouldn't have listened, I know because I remember how I felt back then. I was frightened, Rose. I was so close, like I was walking this line between life and death and I wanted to grasp every last moment and make the most of it. He still feels that way. And he's so grateful to her. I can't blame him for that; she fought hard for him when he had no fight left inside him. He's going to start seeing her and it ends badly."

Rose frowned.

"Badly? You mean Ace finds out?"

"No," he replied, "The Master finds out the Doctor's still alive. And he tracks down Carla on Earth in 1994 and he kills her. The Doctor goes over to see her to tell her its over because he doesn't want to cheat on Ace any more. He finds Carla Bailey dead on her bed with the Master's gloves next to her, just to ensure he knows who did it."

Rose joined him at the console and looked up at him.

_"You should warn him."_

He shook his head.

"No point, he won't listen. He'll just think he can change it like he stopped her dying on the Cassandra-Aurora. But he's wrong."

"There's no way we can go back and change it for him?"

"We could," he replied, "But for me that's too much meddling with a timeline that's already filled with trauma. I'd hate to stir up those waters; it could cause ripples that don't bear thinking about. I know when to quit."

"I still think you should tell him," she said quietly, "Maybe there's a chance it will turn out okay. Sometimes things do, remember?"

He looked into her eyes and smiled.

"Maybe," he replied, "I'll think about it."

Then a crackle sounded through the communications system.

_"Can you hear me, because I hear you loud and clear, I repeat, can you hear me?"_ The voice was male, well spoken and sounded distant.

"That's coming from another Tardis!" he exclaimed, turning back to the console and trying to tune into the signal, "This is coming through on a wavelength that only the Tardis can recognise – a distress call… Who's in trouble, which one of me?"

He turned up the volume as the screen below a speaker rolled and blurred.

"I can't see you…"

"My fault," the other Doctor replied, "Hang on a sec…"

And then a lace handkerchief wiped across the screen, and then a fist thumped a console. The screen narrowed and the picture cleared.

Rose stared at the stranger on the screen.

"Who's that?" she whispered.

"It doesn't matter and I wish I'd _never_ answered the call!" the Doctor said in a low voice.

Then he turned back to the screen. Through the limited view remaining on the other, damaged screen, he saw messed-up dark hair and wide, bright blue eyes fixing on him like lasers. His pupils were like pinpricks and as he spoke again, he laughed nervously.

"Doctor, this is the Doctor – one of me, anyway…I need a favour, and it's rather urgent…"

"What happened to your screen?"

There was a pause.

"I fell on it. Forgot it was there…"

_"The whole console?"_ the Ninth Doctor exclaimed.

"I walked into it last night…accident…listen, I need some money –"

"I'm _not_ bailing you out again!" he said sharply, "Get off this channel!"

Through the screen, those laser eyes burned intensely.

"No, no, not from you…I need my pass number…for my main credit card. I had it on a piece of paper, but I lost it …memory's got more holes than a tea bag these days…" And then his voice bordered on panic, _"And I met this girl last night, she was a real cracker, I thought she liked me too - and now she says she charges by the hour and I owe her three grand!"_

"What does Fiona say about all this?"

"She doesn't know! I left her in London to visit her sister…well, I say left…she said she wanted some space - away from me! Can't imagine why…"

Rose was still staring at the limited view of the man calling from another Tardis.

"Who _is_ that?" she whispered again, and the Doctor waved her away with his hand and continued to look at the screen.

"_Don't_ use the distress call for when you mess up your car crash of a life yet again!" he said, "It's for real emergencies. Why did you lose your pass number?"

"I was wasted!"

The Ninth Doctor gave a sigh.

"I'm sending it through now. Don't call me again."

And he keyed in a long sequence of numbers and hit a send button.

"Thanks, you saved my life!" the other Doctor said, "Listen, perhaps I can do a favour for you? I heard what you said about…what was her name…oh yes…Carla Bailey, back in '94? Maybe I can save her, save you the trouble of doing it, after all, I owe you now…Let me help! "

"Oh no, _no_ thank you," he said quickly, "No help, not from you – I'm trying to make a situation better, not bloody worse! This conversation is over."

"Just hear me out –"

_"Bye!"_

The screen went dark as he switched off the channel.

Rose looked at him with wide eyes.

"Who was that?" she said in disbelief, "He can't be one of you – he's not a Doctor!"

"He is," he replied, "There are considerably more than twelve of me. He's number Fourteen. He doesn't even call himself the Doctor unless he's speaking to one of us. Once in a while he messes up and uses the distress code to reach out. This time I was in range, so I got the short straw. He's not like the others. I heard a rumour something went wrong with his regeneration, I don't know if it's true. But he's a walking disaster. He's the one who's given up on everything, he's the one who just wants to lose himself in drinking and getting high. Maybe that's the price to pay for more regenerations, too many lives and memories, I don't know. But he's trouble."

"He's got nice eyes though," Rose remarked, "So intense…"

"Yeah," he replied dismissively, "Cocaine does that."

Rose blinked.

"Seriously? He's on drugs?"

"Sometimes, yes. He flies the Tardis drunk, too. _And_ he carries a gun. He met Fiona when she mistook the Tardis for a phone box when her mobile phone battery went flat. At the time he was waiting for a visit from a professional dominatrix. Obviously the misunderstanding that followed was probably funny but –"

Rose giggled.

"That _is_ funny."

"But he's not. And I'm not surprised she's walked away. I knew it was only a matter of time, everyone leaves him when they get to know him. He's on a self-destruct mission. Maybe it's a good thing, his next regeneration might sort him out. He won't last much longer, not the way he's going."

Rose stared at him.

"That's a really harsh thing to say! He sounds like he's got problems."

"And they're not becoming _my_ problems!" he told her, and then he turned back to the console.

"Right, change of subject now…let's go back to earth and visit your lovely mum…"

Rose was still fascinated by his tale of the other Doctor.

"You said he doesn't call himself the Doctor. What does he call himself?"

He gave a sigh.

"It's tattooed across his chest. _Rebel_. He calls himself Rebel. More like _Loser!_ Now can we drop the subject, please?"

Rose half smiled as he turned back to the console.

_"Rebel..."_ she murmured, _"Sounds interesting..."_

* * *

On the planet of Sabra, darkness had swallowed up the landscape and given way to night.

"What do you think?" Carla asked him as she put down the scissors and took the towel off his shoulders.

The Doctor looked back at his image reflected in the glass and ran his hand over his hair. Carla had cut it shorter, much shorter, now the length was close to that of his Ninth regeneration's.

"It's fine," he replied, "I hope Ace likes it. And it's not forever. Unless something goes wrong and I don't make it."

And then he got up from the chair and went over to his bed.

"I suppose I'd better get some rest. Could you stay for a while, I want to talk. I don't think I'll get much sleep tonight."

And he took off his shoes and lay back on top of the covers, leaning against soft pillows.

Carla smiled.

"Of course I'll stay."

He looked at her fondly and patted the edge of his bed.

She sat down and as she looked at him, he didn't look away and she felt caught.

"I love Ace," he told her, "But I can't be sure I'll see her again. I can't be sure of anything. And I intend to leave nothing unsaid."

"What is it you need to say?"

He was still looking into her eyes.

_"Answer the question. Do it now before I'm weak and sick and you might not fancy me any more."_

She stared at him.

He laughed nervously.

"Come on Carla, you're not a virgin. You're not exactly too experienced, either – not with men. But you know the answer and I want you to say it out loud."

And he briefly ran his hand down his partly open shirt.

_"I would have put the tie on but after throwing up so violently today I couldn't face having anything around my neck. Sorry about that. Has the penny dropped yet?"_

Her eyes widened and her face flushed again.

He smiled.

"Yes, you've got it now. I want to hear you say it. If you want this, say it to me."

She drew in a slow breath and spoke in a hushed voice as she gave him the reply he was waiting for:

"The day you looked into my mind…you saw it, my fantasy…the one about me undressing you…"

"What happens now is between us. I love my wife but I can't be certain I'll see her again and I want you to have your fantasy because I've seen it and now I want it too."

She leaned closer to him. As he slid his arm around her he felt her shaking.

"Don't be nervous," he whispered, "I'm still weak from the first treatment. I can't make love to you tonight. Just kiss me."

And she needed no more encouragement, her mouth covering his as he returned her kisses and clung to her, and then slid his hands over her body as she trembled in his arms.

As she began to unbutton his shirt and then cover his chest with gentle kisses, he gave a sigh, and then he grabbed her hand and pushed it lower.

"Touch me," he said softly, "Take it nice and slow, Carla…"

As she complied with his request and his breathing grew heavy, she knew he was sliding his hand inside her blouse as he kissed down her throat and gave a murmur of pleasure.

"Don't stop…" he whispered breathlessly, "That's _so_ beautiful…"

And then he lay back, still weak but distracted by the building pleasure that overtook thoughts of all but the moment, as he finally discovered what it felt like for Carla Bailey to take him all the way to a sharp, sudden moment of paradise.

* * *

It was much later when Carla left the Doctor's room.

Part of him felt guilty and the other part felt glad he had lived in the moment while life was so uncertain.

Then Ace filled his thoughts and the regret he had expected weighed heavy in his hearts.

_"I'm sorry,"_ he said quietly as he lay in the darkness while sleep seemed impossible and thought of the woman he loved far away on earth.

Then he thought of all his Ninth self had said and he hoped he was right, because now hope was all he had to cling to. He guessed after so many centuries he ought to be able to face pain without fear, but this was different. He knew it was going to be hell. He wasn't sure if he would ever be truly ready to go through what the morning would bring…

Then he wondered if he ought to remind Carla that he loved Ace, even though he had already said that many times over. He had caught a look in Carla's eyes that warmed his heart and disturbed him at the same time – it had been a look of love, of absolute devotion. She knew he would never leave Ace. All he could offer her was, what? Secret meetings on occasions when he could slip away… it was not much of a future and she deserved so much better.

But that was life, a painful experience that was never simple, no matter what the time or place in the universe…

He had been in this situation before, over the course of many lifetimes there had been other marriages and many affairs when he was married and when he was not. Living a long life brought with it great complications.

_Or maybe he was just weak._

He was certain he would never be able to answer that question.

And with that thought turning around in his mind, the Doctor finally managed to fall asleep and escape his worries for a few brief hours.

* * *

When morning came, Carla walked into his room and as he looked at her he felt the guilt all over again, but at the same time he was glad to see her despite knowing what was about to happen.

"Are you ready for this?" she asked him.

He looked up at her.

"No I'm not," he said honestly, "But I want to get it over with."

Then he settled back and closed his eyes as she began to set up the IV.

_"I'll never forget last night,"_ he said softly, _"The only regret I have is that I wasn't strong enough to take you in my arms and make love. And I would have made love to you. It wouldn't have been sex, not screwing or shagging or all the other words humans use for intercourse. It would have been tender and beautiful and everything love should be."_

"Maybe when you're feeling better," she replied quietly, and he didn't need to open his eyes and look at her to know she was on the brink of tears.

"I'm not sorry," he added, "I meant every word I said."

"Me too," she replied, "Hold still, I have to get the needle in."

He kept his eyes closed as she cleaned his arm and then as sharp steel jabbed into a vein he caught his breath, letting it out slowly as the stinging sensation burned and then began to fade.

"Is this it?"

"Yes, it's just started."

"How soon before I can have pain relief?"

"As soon as I know the toxin levels are falling. Trust me, as soon as that happens I'll be killing all the pain."

"Hold my hand."

She took hold of his hand at once, sitting beside him as she spoke up again.

"I won't leave you," she promised him, "Don't be scared."

He opened his eyes and looked at her as pain registered on his face and fire began to spread through his veins.

"It's burning. I feel like it's sinking to my bones. It's like before, but worse…"

Then he gave a gasp as tears filled his eyes and his grip on her hand tightened.

"It's okay," she said quietly as she ran her hand over his cropped hair, "It's all going to be okay…you're not alone…"

But _I want Ace_ was the thought that ran through his mind just before he was gripped with a terrible pain that took over his thoughts and seemed to shatter his body, but he could not speak as he tried to breathe and cling to Carla's hand as the worst of the pain hit him with the force of a speeding train.

As the Doctor lay unresponsive as the pain took over, Carla remained at his side, watching the monitors and speaking gently to him.

He could no longer feel her hand in his grip, but he knew it was there.

The Doctor listened to the sound of her voice; it was like a slender thread to cling to, and he knew if he let go he would be lost and the pain would cover him, and it would be enough to finish him off.

He kept holding on to that slender thread, the sound of her voice as the anti toxin was fed slowly into his bloodstream and while it burned in his veins he was blinded by it and barely able to draw in breath, and through all this he still held on, listening to her voice as the pain took over everything…


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

_'Do you have the time_  
_To listen to me whine_  
_About nothing and everything_  
_All at once_  
_I am one of those_  
_Melodramatic fools_  
_Neurotic to the bone_  
_No doubt about it_

_Sometimes I give myself the creeps_  
_Sometimes my mind plays tricks on me_  
_It all keeps adding up_  
_I think I'm cracking up_  
_Am I just paranoid?_  
_Or am I just stoned?'_

_~ Basket Case, Green Day._

_Destiny was calling._

He wasn't exactly sure how or why, but he knew it was calling him.

And then he wondered why destiny would call him in the middle of nursing a hangover from hell, but cancelled that thought as he remembered Carla Bailey could be found on the planet of Sabra.

_He didn't want to get involved._

_He didn't want to know about anything at all._

But he didn't want Carla to die, because he recalled her somewhere deep in his hearts from another life, even if his booze and drug addled brain couldn't recall the finer details.

He keyed in the co ordinates and slammed down a lever.

His Tardis lurched and his stomach lurched with it as the room span and his head ached and he recalled something about colliding with a console, because he had forgotten it was there.

As theTardis hurtled through space and time the lever slipped and he noticed it looked a little loose. He reached over and held it down, eyes like blue lasers as he fixed his gaze on the view of the universe rushing by.

He was still in his clothes from the night before and he stank of sweat and dried blood and he was pretty sure he had bled heavily when he had bumped into the console, but none of that mattered now. He had decided to get involved, and he wasn't certain what was driving him, but it was powerful and felt almost as good a high from one of his home made turquoise bombs that got him higher than any other drug in the known universe.

A crazy thought hit him that maybe something _else_ was out there, and it was better than getting wasted…

Then he dashed that thought aside as he watched time and space rush by and he began to fly with it, feeling sure it had to be down to what was left of the stimulants in his system. But real life had never felt so good whilst sobering up before:

_Rebel was cruising at top speed and his head was rushing with it._

_The Fourteenth Doctor was on his way._

* * *

Ace had found little comfort in being back at home on Earth.

Despite being back home her thoughts constantly turned to the Doctor, and every time she thought of how they were separated by such a distance, she wanted to cry all over again.

Her mother had made her feel welcome, and that was something she was glad to know, but she spent most of her time in her room because nothing could distract her from thoughts of the man she loved.

Ace had started to keep the magic number in her head.

The Ninth Doctor had told her, in eight days the Professor would return.

Two days had passed. Now six days remained, less than a week, that was all she kept reminding herself as she sat in her room and looked out of the window and then placed her fingertips on the glass as she looked at the darkening sky and wondered if it night had fallen already back on Sabra. Perhaps the days were shorter there – or was that wishful thinking?

She wasn't sure what to think as she wondered about time, and how it could fly when she was having fun, and crawl at such an agonizing pace at a time like this. Seconds, minutes and hours had become something that tormented her in the absence of the Tardis to defy its measurement.

And then the phone rang and moments later her mother called to her from the hallway downstairs.

"_Ace,"_ she said, _"There's a Doctor Bailey on the phone for you."_

Suddenly her heart was in her mouth as she jumped up and dashed for the door, running out of her room and down the stairs as her mind raced to all the worst places it could run to as she wondered if bad news was waiting for her.

"Thanks," she said breathlessly, and took the phone from her mother.

"Carla?" she said anxiously, "How are you calling me? I didn't know that you could…I mean, not this far…. Is he okay? Please say he's okay –"

"The Doctor is holding up just fine, Ace," she replied, "And I'm calling you because he fixed it with his screwdriver so I could reach earth on it. The treatment's hit him very hard but the good news is, the toxin levels have started to fall. It's gone from eighty-five percent to sixty. If it falls by another ten percent by tomorrow morning I can start giving him some pain relief and that will be a massive help to him."

Ace was wiping her eyes as she held the phone in her shaking hand. She felt her mother touch her arm and she looked up at her.

"Is he okay?" she said quietly, and Ace nodded, then she blinked away more tears as Carla spoke again.

"He's doing well," she told her, "But the anti toxin is very strong, he's been in a lot of pain and he's on oxygen and I'm trying to keep his fluids up to stop him getting dehydrated, but he's coping. His hearts are working well, showing no sign of strain at all. But his body is working ten times harder than usual because of the reaction between the toxin and the drugs that are trying to destroy it. It's very tough on him, but he's getting through it."

"Can I speak to him?"

There was a pause.

"Ace, he's too sick to speak on the phone. He needs a certain amount of life support at the moment and he can just about breathe, he can't speak while he's going through this, the pain is stopping him from moving from his bed. But I am taking care of him, I'm with him all the time. And as soon as he starts on the pain relief and he's strong enough, he _will_ call you. I know it's hard, but remember he's coping well, as well as we can expect. And…"

"What?" said Ace as she gripped the phone harder, "What else do I need to know?"

"Oh, no – no bad news, I just wanted to say I think he's lucky to have you. It's your strength that's getting him through this, not mine. I just wanted you to remember that. He told me how much he loves you."

"Thanks," Ace said quietly, "Tell him I love him too. Tell him as soon as he's awake. Make sure he knows that."

"Yes I will, and I'll be in touch soon," she replied, and then the call ended.

Ace put the phone down. Her eyes were blurred with tears but she was smiling, and as Audrey looked at her daughter she felt relieved because clearly, it was all good news so far.

"He's doing well," Ace told her, "Carla said the toxin levels are falling – and he's getting through it. I think he's going to be all right, Mum!"

And then she hugged her and Audrey held on, thankful for the fact that this time, her daughter was shedding tears out of relief and not sorrow.

* * *

As Carla put the phone down, she felt deep a pain in her heart as she thought of the worry and fear she had heard in Ace's voice. Then she recalled her encounter with the Doctor and the guilt that had been pushed aside while she concentrated on his treatment began to weigh heavy.

She drew in a deep breath and wondered why life had to be so unkind, to allow her to finally find a man who her heart desired in every way, only to be forced to be second best always, because he was married and would never leave his wife…

As she walked back down the corridor she was still turning it over in her mind. It was no fun to know she would never be anything more than the other woman, this was not what she had wanted, and she had _never_ wanted to be in a situation like this…

And then she opened the door to the Doctor's room and saw him pale and weak as he lay on his side breathing on oxygen and the pain in her heart was only for him and her own self-pity was forgotten.

She pulled up a chair next to his bed.

"_I didn't choose to fall in love with you,"_ she whispered, _"God help me, I can't change it. But all I know for sure is, when I look in your eyes I know you're a truly good man. And I desperately want you to survive."_

And the Doctor gave no reply as he breathed deeply with his eyes closed. His face was pale and the shadows beneath his eyes had deepened. To look at him she would have thought he was getting worse if the blood results had not proven otherwise.

"I'll sit with you for a while," she added, "I don't want you to be alone when you wake up. I called Ace, I told her the goods news that the toxin levels are falling. She wants you to know that she loves you. She does, she really does, Doctor. I think she was crying, but only because she was happy to know you're doing so well."

His breathing shifted rhythm and he gave a sigh, then his eyes slowly opened.

"Did you hear me?" she asked, and took hold of his hand, "I called Ace. She told me to tell you that she loves you very much."

And the Doctor smiled and weakly gripped her hand, before taking in another sharp breath and closing his eyes once more.

"_She loves you,"_ she said quietly, _"And so do I…."_

And then a sound echoed down the corridor, like the howl of distant wind…or the sound of a Tardis landing…

She turned her head towards the closed door, listened but heard nothing, and then she shook her head as she glanced out the window and spotted the Doctor's blue police box exactly where he had left it amongst trees across the field.

Of course it wasn't another Tardis.

The other Doctor had been and gone, so it _had_ to be the wind.

Yet she had failed to notice no branches swayed nor leaves trembled in the light breeze beyond the window…

* * *

The Tardis that had landed in the building was dark blue and the panels set within its exterior were decorated with elegant gold that marked them out, and the small square panes of glass set within the doors were made of colourful stained glass.

The Fourteenth Doctor, who rarely used his other selves name at all and preferred to be called Rebel, inched open the door and peered out.

He saw the dimly lit corridor, heard no sound and promptly closed the door again.

He leaned against the closed door, took in a breath and then stared intently into the silver chrome interior of his Tardis.

_"Okay…"_ he said under his breath, _"Seventh life…Master, poison, ship – boom, gone…Carla… Sabra…treatment…No…don't think about that…ouch…Oh…Carla…yes…that's better…Carla…"_

He paused, desperately trying to pull out memories that were hazy after many other lifetimes.

Then his mind hit a misty void of nothing and he ran his fingers through untidy black hair and gave a sigh of frustration. His eyes were still burning a little too intensely as he spoke aloud and his voice echoed around the console room.

"_Why_ did I get so bloody hammered last night?"

He walked over to the console and looked at it, then brought his hand up to an aching wound on his right temple. He looked down at the blood on the controls and the crack across the bottom of the communications screen.

"Oops…" he said, and then he headed away from the console, turning into a corridor and walking a short distance, then he paused to cautiously touch his aching temple again. He saw blood as he took his hand away the second time and then he opened up a door and went into his bedroom.

"Not good…" he murmured as he rubbed his temple again and his fingertips felt wet.

The bedroom was dark, and he walked to the middle of the room and spoke up.

"Lights, Tardis…and be gentle, I'm fragile tonight…"

And soft lamps set along the walls flickered to life, illuminating a room covered with black walls that lit up softly as tiny lights gently glowed, imitating a vast galaxy. He went over to a double bed with messy sheets and noticed blood on his pillow.

Then he turned to a full-length mirror and looked into it, wincing as he turned his head and saw a nasty gash on his temple. He recalled colliding with the console shortly after paying the call girl and leaving her back in London. Then he wondered how long he had been knocked out. The Tardis had been auto programmed to set off as soon as he dropped off the girl – he had no idea how long he had been unconscious this time. He guessed his average after a crazy night was around twenty minutes – he remembered he had sent out a call, used the SOS channel to retrieve his pin for his credit card…and Nine had _not_ been pleased to hear from him…

Then his thoughts turned back to the conversation he had heard about Seven's lover and how the Master had killed her back in '94.

He turned from the mirror and went into the bathroom.

"Okay…" he said, talking aloud, "He's here on Sabra. So is Carla… that's a good start, I've found them…now what?"

And he put the plug in a white bathtub and turned on a gold tap.

"I can't think like a Doctor," he murmured, "I can't do it…what comes next?"

The room was starting to mist up with steam, and so was the mirror on the wall. He went over to it and wiped a hand across it, then took off a dark jacket and started to unbutton a white shirt with a bloodstained collar.

As the shirt fell to the floor he looked into the mirror once more, as bright blue eyes burned back at him and he ran his fingers through a long dark fringe, sweat shone on his slim, toned frame, making the black gothic lettering across his chest that spelled _Rebel_ gleam as he drew in a deep breath.

"_Why am I so bloody useless?"_ he exclaimed aloud, and then he stripped off the rest of his clothing and slid into hot water, giving a sigh as the heat eased the aches and pains that squeezed at his body as the effect of the booze and the drugs began to leave him.

He knew he was drifting as the water started to ease him off to sleep.

Then he slipped under and the water felt like molten lava against the open wound to his temple and he sat up sharply, eyes wide as he gave a gasp.

"_That's it!" _he exclaimed, _"Wake up, Rebel… time to go to work!"_

* * *

Carla had listened in the quiet room where the Doctor fought so hard to cope with the anti toxin, but she heard no more sounds like rushing wind. All she heard was the Doctor breathing on the oxygen as he lay there with his eyes closed.

"Not long now," she said softly, "Soon you can have something for the pain. And I'll make sure it works, I'll make sure it's all gone away, I won't let you suffer."

He gave a sigh.

_"Too late for that,"_ he murmured, _"Too late…"_

"No, it's going to get better soon," she told him, "I know every moment must be terrible for you, but you're turning a corner now, you really are."

He shivered, and then took in another breath, but gave up on replying as he continued to fight the pain.

Carla thought about Ace and that guilt locked in her heart would not ease up. She knew she only had herself to blame for the way she was feeling – the Doctor had been ill, vulnerable and – no. She cancelled that thought. He had known exactly what he was doing, and so had she.

Blaming others and handing over responsibility was not the actions of a grown woman and she knew it – she was as guilty as he was, she could have said no, but instead they had both been weak. And she knew it wouldn't get any easier, because the memory of his kiss, of the way he had held her in his arms burned brightly and now it felt as if nothing could extinguish that flame. Soon she guessed she wouldn't want it to go out, she would want that fire to keep burning brightly.

It wasn't fair on Ace.

_But then again, since when had life ever been fair on anyone? _

She wasn't sure if she was making excuses for herself or seeing the situation as it stood. And that guilt remained, along with a sense of half victory as she remembered he would never leave his wife. There was no joy in being the other woman, she knew that for sure…

"I'm going to leave you for a short time," she said to him, "I'll be back in twenty minutes. If you need me, push the button, okay?"

And she placed a small remote control in his hand and he weakly held on to it.

"Where ever I am in the building, I'll get your signal," she promised, and then she leaned over him, kissed his cheek, and walked out of the room, closing the door behind her and then pausing to take in a deep breath as she thought of the future, of when he was well enough to leave and wondered if he would still have a place for her in his life when he was back on his feet.

* * *

Carla left the medical centre and walked along the corridor to the other end, where she found the door to Lexi's apartment open.

"Hello?" she called out.

"I'm in the kitchen!" Lexi called back, and Carla followed the sound of her voice, stepping into a bright kitchen where pots were bubbling on the cooker and Lexi stood peeling potatoes.

"How's the Doctor?" she asked her.

"He's holding up okay. And the treatment seems to be working. It's very hard on him, though. Ace will get a shock when she sees him again. The medication's really taken its toll. But he's responding well, that's what matters. Actually that's what I came to tell you."

"Okay…that's great…_Oh no, I can't…not this one_…"

Carla stared at Lexi, who had stopped preparing food to gaze down lovingly at a potato she held in her hand.

"I can't peel it," she said, "Not this one."

"Why not?"

Lexi's eyes sparkled.

_"It looks just like my boyfriend."_

"Excuse me? How can a potato –"

"He's a Sontaran," she said, still smiling down at the potato.

"He's what – oh…right, well um…I'm happy for you. I'd better get going, I'll leave you and the potato to get on with dinner."

"Bye," she said sweetly.

Then Carla walked away, resisting the urge to laugh as she wondered how a Sontaran who reminded her of a potato could possibly spellbind Lexi…and then she recalled that all Sontarans looked like potatoes, and by the time she left Lexi's apartment, she was smiling for the first time since the Doctor had begun his treatment.

* * *

Rebel was in his bedroom.

He had both doors to the wardrobe wide open, and as he looked inside at the array of fancy shirts and jackets and colourful suits he shook his head, wondering why he was getting the feeling that none of these clothes belonged to him.

Then it hit him:

_They didn't. They had belonged to his previous life, and his own clothing was…._

He turned around, looking intently at a tall wardrobe of carved oak set on the other side of the room.

"Where the devil did that come from?" he murmured, wondering if he was hallucinating, or if the wardrobe had been there all the long but he had been too wasted to notice it before.

The wardrobe was real. He knew it as soon as he placed his hands on the doors and ran his hands over the ornate carvings set into the dark oak.

It was locked with a silver key. He turned it and opened up both doors.

Then he stared at the contents.

Suits, shirts, jackets:

_Every single item was black._

_It made perfect sense deep inside him, but he wasn't quite sure why._

Then he reached into the wardrobe and let instinct guide him as his Fourteenth persona began to influence his choices.

Suddenly, getting dressed wasn't such a difficult task.

Moments later he stood before the full length mirror and what he saw made him stare intently at the man reflected:

He couldn't guess at the age he seemed to be, forty-five, perhaps older, but he looked good for it – apart from the gash on his temple that still glistened with fresh blood. The skin was split deeply and it was not a pretty sight. He looked pale and his eyes still carried a trace of the buzz that had felt so good yesterday – or had it been the rush of hurtling through space and time? That had felt almost as good. Perhaps as good as or…_more_ so?

His gaze shifted down to this clothing, he was wearing a black shirt that was open on the first four buttons, enough to expose his throat and part of his upper chest but not enough to show off his tattoo. He wore black jeans, a black belt with a silver buckle, heavy leather boots and a long black jacket, the lapels decorated with embroidered black roses.

Something was missing.

Then he reached into the pocket of his jacket and drew out a silver chain. On the end of it was a pendant that bore a symbol for the planet Gallifrey. He put it around his neck and then looked again at the man he saw reflected back at him.

_"This is me,"_ he said quietly, _"But I have no clue why…"_

And then he reached for the small laser gun on the dresser beside him and tucked it out of sight, safely placing it in a holster that was hidden by his jacket.

Now he felt ready to leave.

And then he stepped out into the Tardis corridor and doubts began to crowd his thoughts:

He was _not_ the Doctor, not in the way the others before him and been.

Now he was Rebel, yet here he was, trying to do the Doctor's work.

He could still recall the pain that had seemed to shatter his body as he received the anti toxin back in his Seventh life.

Memories were flashing back at him and he stopped walking, shaking his head as if he wished he could shake out the recollections and lose them forever.

_And then he heard it again._

It was a sound that had carried to him on and off at unexpected times since his regeneration…

_He could feel pain._

_Not his, but the pain of others._

_Sometimes he heard their voices, calling to him..._

He closed his eyes.

_"Go away!"_ he said aloud, and the cries of the dying faded out.

He wondered if they haunted him, those who had died while he lived as he fought in the flames, half regenerating as he fought against it while the flames claimed his body and his life and the next life struggled to come through:

_Born of fire._

_That was him, Number Fourteen, born of fire and tragedy…_

He snapped his eyes open, focusing on the brightness of the steel corridor as he pushed away memories that had crept out from a door in his mind that refused to stay shut.

He wished that flashback had not happened. Now he had gone from confident to a shaking wreck in seconds.

_And he knew how to fix that._

He reached the door of the room he called his lab. He opened the door and went inside, hands shaking as he opened up a cupboard and took out a bag of blue powder. Then he went over to a table that contained his home made lab equipment and began to prepare the turquoise bomb.

As he added the powder to a jar, ignited it with a match and then stuck a small glass bottle in the top as he activated a button labelled vacuum, he thought briefly of Carla Bailey and felt sure her lab had once been in this room, while she worked on board the Tardis to find a cure for the toxin…

The blue powder was better than any drug he had ever tried before. It was even better than the kind he could find on earth – a planet full of drugs and people who dealt them…

He pulled the bottle free from the vacuum and snapped down the lid, holding it up and smiling as he watched blue mist swirling inside the container. Inhaling was better than sniffing the powder raw, which gave him nose bleeds…

He turned from the lab equipment and left the room clutching the small vial of blue gas like he held confidence in his hand.

He planned to take that shot of confidence as soon as he left his Tardis, just to be sure he could handle what he was about to do. It was daunting, getting involved in the kind of situation the Doctor would get involved in, but Rebel had decided to help, because wanted to, and to prove that he could...

He left the Tardis, took two steps into the dimly lit corridor and snapped the top off the small glass container.

The heavy blue gas swirled, its tendrils dancing seductively just above the open top of the vial.

_"Just a quick one…"_ he said in a low voice, and then he leaned forward and as the tendrils of blue mist warmed his nostrils he inhaled deeply.

He waited for the hit.

And then something _else_ hit him, his eyes widened in shock as a crushing pain slammed into his chest and he tried to draw in a breath that would not come. He hit the floor, falling on his back, and a tight wheeze sounded in his chest. He saw the vial still in his hand and the horror of the situation struck him at once:

The remains of the blue gas were turning green, a sure sign the bomb had been cut with something less than pure.

_It was every addict's nightmare – he had been sold a bad batch…_

Then he lost consciousness, stopped breathing and his lips turned blue as both his hearts gave out from the shock of the badly cut bomb.

* * *

Carla had just been to the staff kitchen to make a sandwich.

She stepped out of the lift and turned for the corridor that led back to the medical centre. And then she stopped, looking further down at the sight of another Tardis half in shadow up against the wall of the corridor.

And then her gaze lowered to the sight of a man collapsed on the floor.

"What is going on?" she whispered, and the plate clattered to the floor and the sandwich hit the floor among shattered fragments of the broken plate as she ran up the corridor and fell to her knees beside the unconscious man.

She shook him, spoke loudly, but he gave no response. She noticed his lips were blue, put her hand to his chest and felt no heart beat, and then a vial ran out from his open hand, stained with a green dye. She had seen cases like this before…

"You idiot!" she said aloud, then jumped up and ran back through the double doors and into the emergency room, grabbed the trolley containing a defibrillator, and brought it back to the man's side.

She grabbed at his black shirt and tugged it open, exposing a chest that had the word REBEL tattooed across it, then charged up the shock pads. They charged fast as a rapid high pitched whine filled the air, and then she placed them on his chest, delivering a single shock. His body twitched and then he took in a sudden deep breath.

She gave a sigh of relief as she turned off the machine and placed it back on the trolley, and then she knelt down beside him.

"Can you hear me?" she said, "I'll get you moved into a room…you're going to be all right."

And he sat up sharply, gave his head a shake that messed up his hair and then he looked at her with alert, bright blue eyes.

_"Vial turned green. I should have known. When I see that dealer again, he's a dead man. Thanks for your help - I'll be fine now."_

And he got up.

So did Carla.

"You can't leave yet," she said, staring at him as she wondered how he had just pulled that one off. She had _never_ seen a user recover from a bad T bomb so fast before…

He turned to her and smiled.

"Don't worry about me. I'm a Timelord, I can take a lot of punishment, fortunately."

And he paused to place both hands on his chest.

"Heart rate's a bit rapid but that should wear off soon."

And then he buttoned up his shirt.

"Has this happened before?"

"A few times," he replied, "I blame the dealers."

"You should blame yourself for taking that crap in the first place!"

He looked at her sharply.

"Don't judge me, you don't know me! And it's bloody hard to find a decent dealer – the universe is full of scammers these days! You don't have a clue about my life so _don't_ make guesses!"

She gave a weary sigh.

"Let's just drop this – I need to keep you here for at least twelve hours, just to be sure you're okay."

"No, you can't do that – I need to find the Doctor, he's having treatment here?"

"Who are you?" she asked.

"I'm also a Doctor – not that I bother with the title. My name is Rebel."

And then discomfort registered on his face as he placed his hand on the middle of his chest.

"Actually, it does hurt a bit…"

"I'm not surprised," she said, steering him towards a doorway, "Come with me – and that's a nasty cut you've got on the side of your head."

"Oh that's nothing…"

"It needs closing."

She opened the door and led him inside.

"You can rest here. There's a bed on the other side of the room. I have to stay with him, he's critical."

Rebel looked at the man in the bed who was trembling with pain as he breathed on oxygen. His eyes widened as he realised he most certainly knew him, he had known him very well – at one time, he had _been_ him…

_"Doctor?"_ he said in a hushed voice.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Warning: This chapter contains a scene with strong language

* * *

As he rested, Rebel was surprised to find the bed that had folded down from the wall was incredibly comfortable – either that, or he was so worn out from the events of the past twenty four hours, that _anywhere_ would have seemed perfect to crash out…

He had no idea how long he slept but when he awoke the cut to his temple had been sealed with tape and he felt much better for a long rest.

"How are you?"

He smiled at her.

"The lady who saved my life! I'm very well thank you…and I'm hoping you might be Dr Carla Bailey."

"Yes I am, why?"

His eyes widened.

"No reason…"

She frowned.

"But you asked me, you mentioned me by name…"

"Well it's just my memory kicking in…I'm the fourteenth regeneration – of him," he said, glancing to the Doctor who was still resting as he breathed on oxygen, "So it should come as no surprise that I recall you."

And then he fell silent hoping his explanation would suffice.

The Doctor slowly opened his eyes, looking at the man who was resting on top of a bed across the other side of the room. He studied his appearance for a moment, and then he slowly smiled.

"_I know of you,"_ he whispered_, "I know you well."_

"I wish I did," Rebel replied, and then he sat up.

"Don't make the Doctor tired, he's very unwell," Carla reminded him.

"I know that."

Rebel got up and went over to the Doctor's bedside, pulled up a chair and sat down.

"I recall this…it was so long ago, so many regenerations back. I wish there was something I could do for you."

The Doctor closed his eyes.

"Don't worry about me," he whispered, "I'll be fine."

The morning sunshine was reaching in through the window and as its rays brightened the room, Carla smiled.

"I'm starting to introduce his pain relief today. He won't really notice it until tomorrow, by then he'll feel much more comfortable."

"That's good," Rebel replied.

And then he looked to Carla.

"Listen, I need to ask a favour – you might think this is frightfully rude of me, but…do you have any blue indigo rock powder? I mean pure, not mixed –"

"You're asking me to give you drugs?" she said, struggling to keep her voice low, the Doctor was sleeping now but it was difficult to be quiet when reacting so such a request…

She glared at Rebel.

"A few hours ago you were moments from death because of a bad T bomb. Now you want to take _more_ drugs?"

"I didn't get to take a T bomb," he replied, "It was a bad one. I need a hit."

And he shifted awkwardly on his seat.

"Pretty soon. I can't trust the rest of my batch –"

"T bombs are made from powdered blue volcanic rock from the planet of Indigo-Major 03, it's supposed to be used in certain medications – to treat medical conditions, _not_ to be abused by junkies like you!"

He flinched as she called him a junkie.

"If you knew why, you'd understand. But I don't know you well enough to tell you, Carla…. not yet. I hope I will get the opportunity to explain one day. But you must know about the pain users like me go through? I genuinely suffer without a hit. I can't go through that misery! It's going to be agony!"

She stared at him in disbelief, and then she dropped her voice to a whisper and indicated to the bed where the Doctor lay fighting for his life.

"Why don't you take a good look at your Seventh regeneration and see what he's going through?" she said, "That's pain, that's _real _pain – why don't you sit with him for a while and watch what he has to go through, then you might understand what agony means!"

Genuine hurt registered in his eyes.

"I was only asking if you could help me out. I can pay you –"

"_I'm not a drug dealer!" _she said angrily, and then she walked out of the room.

* * *

The minutes passed and Rebel said nothing.

He sat beside the Seventh Doctor and looked intently at him, watching as he trembled and breathed on oxygen as the IV line fed anti toxin into his body.

"I'm aware that your survival means life for the rest of us," he said, finally breaking the silence, "If you hadn't made it, the regenerations would have stopped at you. I wish I remember how you found a cure for this thing…but I don't recall much, I don't know if it's just me, my lifestyle – or if it's because the regeneration was rough. My mind is so mixed up the only time I feel any where close to clarity is when I'm high. I know that sounds bad. And I know you've been all over the universe, you probably know more about me than I do. I wish you could tell me who I am, because I don't know any more. All I know for certain is I have this door inside my head and I need to keep it shut because if I don't, I'll be waking something terrible. I never knew memories could do that."

The Doctor drew in a slow, steady breath and opened his eyes.

"Rebel," he whispered, "Don't you _ever_ shut up? I'm trying to sleep."

"Sorry," He replied, "I'll be quiet."

The Doctor breathed easily as he rested once more, his rest only interrupted by a shiver that briefly passed through his body.

Once again the room fell silent.

And then it started again, the pull of something reaching out to him, and then cries of agony…

Rebel took a sharp breath as he turned his head, saw nothing behind him, and then stared out of the window.

"_Where are you?"_ he said in a hushed voice, _"Show yourself!"_

His eyes burned bright blue and flickered with panic as his breathing quickened and his twin hearts raced.

"Leave me alone!" he whispered.

And the Doctor gave a sigh as more sweat ran from his body.

"_It won't…"_ he murmured.

Rebel looked down at him.

"What did you say? Doctor, what do you know?"

Then pain registered on the Doctor's face as he turned on his side sharply and gave a weak cry of pain.

"Get Carla…" he gasped.

Rebel stared down in horror to see an open wound on the back of the Doctor's neck had started to swell and leak blood and clear fluid.

"I'll get her!" he said, and jumped up from his seat and ran out of the room.

* * *

"_Carla!"_ he yelled, and Rebel's voice echoed down the corridor.

And then as he ran and punched open the double doors, the world seemed to slide into slow motion as they came towards him:

_A woman in a long, flimsy summer dress, human…_

_Beside her was an armed Sontaran._

As he fell to his knees and hit the floor, his hand flew to his side, drawing on his laser gun like it was high noon as he slid to a halt and gripped the weapon with both hands.

Every life he had ever lived flashed through his mind and amongst the mental pictures he saw many fragments of old confrontations.

He was ready to pull the trigger.

The woman gave a gasp and the Sontaran stared at him in confusion, then his eyes glittered darkly and he reached for his weapon.

"_No!"_ someone yelled, and lunged at him from behind, slamming him to the ground.

Suddenly his wrist was cracked sharply against the solid floor and the gun fell from his grasp.

"Calm down!" the voice yelled again, and just as his arm was twisted behind his back, he realised it was Carla.

"I'm so glad it was you – I thought I was being busted by the police again!" he exclaimed, "I've had a few nasty encounters with the intergalactic narcotics squad…don't twist my arm!"

She kept her grip on his arm tight, and he knew she had a knee in his back too and movement was impossible.

The woman and the Sontaran were standing over him.

Carla sounded panicked.

"I'm really sorry about this – he's got issues…"

"Oh yes, that's right, take their side…"

The knee in his back jabbed harder.

"_Stop it, you idiot!"_

Then Carla spoke again.

"I'm sorry about him – he's a drug user and he's in withdrawal and…and he's a Timelord. He probably saw you," she said to Venx, "And panicked."

"He tried to kill Venx, he tried to shoot my boyfriend!"

"Sorry, Lexi. It won't happen again!"

"Boyfriend?" Rebel repeated, and then Carla got off him and let go of his arm.

"This is Lexi Dixon who owns the facility – and this is her partner, Venx."

Rebel picked himself up from the floor looking in confusion at Lexi and Venx.

"A human and a Sontaran?"

Lexi rolled her eyes.

"You sound like it could be impossible in your world, which I imagine, is a very narrow-minded place to be!"

Then Rebel blinked, and he kept on staring at Lexi and Venx.

"I'm terribly sorry," he said politely, and put his laser gun away, "A human and a Sontaran?"

He started to smile.

"I think that's beautiful! If a human and a Sontaran can fall in love there's hope for this universe! Come here!"

And he stepped forward and grabbed Lexi and kissed her cheek, and then much to the outrage of Venx, did the same to him.

Then he stepped back as his eyes sparkled brightly with excitement.

"This is wonderful!" he exclaimed.

Venx turned to Lexi and shook his head.

"I think he is…" he paused, searching for the right word, "Confused."

"I think he's disturbed!" Lexi added, and the smile vanished from Rebel's face.

"I was being honest! I can see it now, of _course_ I can…"

His eyes widened as he turned back to Carla.

"I can _feel_ their love!"

Lexi and Venx exchanged another doubtful glance.

"I can!" he insisted, "I can feel so much…too much…I don't want to feel anything at all…"

And then he gave a gasp as a look of panic returned to his eyes.

"The Doctor! He's in pain –"

"I know," Carla told him calmly, "He's having a reaction, the toxin is being pushed out through his wounds. I've just given him some pain relief. It's a complication I didn't expect, but he's doing just fine."

Rebel frowned.

"How did you get to him so fast?"

She smiled.

"He's got a call button," she said, "When he hit it I was in the room next door. He just needed some reassurance and an increase in his pain meds. He's not been on it long, it's going to take a while before the pain fades out."

Rebel breathed a sigh of relief.

"He's okay, that's good…."

"Why don't you go back to your Tardis for a while and get some rest?" she suggested, "I think you could use some more sleep."

He nodded.

"Good idea. I know I messed up and it's probably better if I disappear for a while."

"No I didn't mean it like that –"

He had already turned his back and started to walk away. She wanted to call him back but then Lexi spoke to her.

"Would it be okay if we stopped in to see the Doctor?"

"Only for a couple of minutes," she said, "He's not really strong enough for conversation yet."

"Leave your gun outside," Lexi said to Venx, and he shot her a look of annoyance and handed his weapon to Carla.

Then the two of them walked off in the direction of the Doctor's room.

Carla held the weapon carefully, keeping both hands away from the trigger as she carried it to her office.

* * *

Rebel was heading back to his Tardis feeling angry with himself for almost shooting Venx. He was certain he had already messed up in a big, irretrievably stupid way that would never be forgotten – which seemed to be a habit in this regeneration…

Then he stopped walking.

He took two steps back, double-checking he had read the sign on the door correctly. Then he checked the corridor was clear, tried the door and after quickly tampering with the lock using a dark, sleek sonic screwdriver he tried the handle again, and then he quickly slipped into through the door marked _Pharmacy_.

* * *

Lexi and Venx paused outside the Doctor's door.

"I just want you to see him," she whispered, "You need to understand he's not the enemy and he's in no position to fight with you."

"I shall be the judge of that," Venx replied, and Lexi gave a sigh of frustration as she opened the door.

"That's the only thing that annoys me about Sontarans - _always_ looking for a fight!"

He shot her a surprised look and then followed her into the room.

Lexi closed the door behind them and then she dropped her voice to a whisper once more at the sight of the Doctor on his side and breathing through an oxygen mask. There was a gauze pad behind his head and a wound at the back of his neck was slowly leaking bloodstained fluid.

Then he opened his eyes and blinked a couple of times, looking to Lexi and Venx with confusion.

"Doctor," Lexi said, "This is Venx – he's my boyfriend. Don't worry about him being Sontaran; he's not here to hurt you. He was part of a tampered clone batch. He's a free thinker."

Surprise slowly registered in his drowsy eyes and then he closed them again.

"See how weak he is?" Lexi whispered, "He's very ill, Venx."

And then she fell silent as Venx went over to the Doctor's bedside.

He leaned over him. Lexi caught her breath.

"What are you doing?"

Venx gently slid away the gauze pad and then replaced it with a fresh one that had been left on the table.

"He was…how do I say it…leaking?" he replied, "So I cleaned him up."

She started to smile.

"You're _so_ kind!"

A look of distaste appeared on his face.

"Please, no insults. You are right - the Doctor is very unwell. And I do _not _consider him to be a threat."

Relief washed over her at once as she took hold of his three-fingered hand and led him to the door.

"Come on," she said, "Let's go back to the apartment. I've missed you – I want to make up for lost time."

And they left the room and Lexi closed the door quietly behind them.

* * *

The Master was in his Tardis, it was floating gently in deep space as he stood reflecting on his last battle with the Doctor.

His eyes scanned the depths of the inky darkness, and it felt so empty and quiet.

_Perhaps too empty._

He wondered if this life without the threat of the Doctor was too easy.

Then he smiled.

"_No,"_ he said quietly_, "I am not at ease. I am curious."_

And he continued to look out to the stars set in the darkness as he turned his thoughts to the many possibilities of a life where he would be free to do as he wished with no meddling Timelord in his way.

But he was troubled.

One thought kept on returning, it played over in his mind as he recalled the rage in the eyes of Ace as she slammed into him with her bat, and how the weakened Doctor had looked on in horror as he smashed the only vial of antidote, dashing away his hopes of survival.

_Of course he was dead…wasn't he?_

It would be typical of the Doctor to desperately fight against the inevitable end, too typical…

"_Are you still alive?"_ he whispered, wishing his eyes could scan the whole universe for the man with the blue police box.

And at the same time, another thought hit him:

Life without a challenge would perhaps be too easy.

Maybe evil could have sharper teeth if it had something to bite on – and without the Doctor, there was nothing but a void. That void could be everything he had ever longed for – or a predictable, easy new start where no one could match him…

In many ways he detested that idea.

The doubt was still swirling in his mind:

_What if the Doctor still lived?_

_He was not feeling pity for the man. _

All he felt was a need to know, as other possibilities came to mind, that he could manufacture another antidote and strike a bargain with a dying man that would turn a Timelord into a slave.

His mind was made up.

He didn't know if the Doctor was dead or alive, and he needed to know:

_He was going to find out for certain…_

* * *

When Carla returned to the Doctor's room, she leaned over him and spoke softly to him.

"Doctor, the toxin is still leaking out through your wounds…" And then she placed a gloved hand against the side of his head where a large wound was sealing up but a swelling was developing above it, "Your toxin levels are down to fifty-one percent. And your wounds are healing. That's a big step forward. But the toxin is gathering at points of exit in your bloodstream, and if it can't get out through the wounds I have to drain it. I'm going to make a small incision and clean out the wound on the side of your head, and then I'm removing the implants in your neck, chest and along your spine. You don't need them any more, the anti toxin is working."

The Doctor weakly reached up and lowered his oxygen mask and slowly focused on Carla's face as gratitude shone in his eyes.

"I'm winning …thank you, Carla."

"Don't thank me yet," she told him, "I'll have to close the larger wounds with sutures. You're on the anti toxin and now pain relief is slowly coming into the mix, but it won't be enough to kill the discomfort entirely. I can't add anything else to your bloodstream in case it weakens the effect of the anti toxin. _I have to perform this procedure without anesthesia._"

As he looked up at her, he seemed weary of fighting.

"Do what you have to do, Dr Bailey, " he whispered, "Just get on with it…"

And he replaced the oxygen mask and closed his eyes as he wished he could drift away and never know what kind of pain was yet to hit his already shattered body.

* * *

Rebel had hurried back to his Tardis and then taken the large bottle of blue powder to his lab, where he made a T bomb and then locked the rest away safely.

He took off his jacket and sat on the floor of his bedroom, leaning against the side of his bed as his hand trembled and he looked at the vial of blue mist he held in his hand.

"It's pure this time…" he said in a hushed voice, feeling a warm reassurance as the bottom of the vial glowed turquoise, _"You're pure, my beautiful topaz sky…"_

Then he flipped off the lid and leaned forward, inhaling deeply.

He dropped the vial as his body relaxed and he leaned back against the bed, giving a deep sigh.

His body was floating, his bones were weightless and the buzz had hit the right spot, making him feel nothing but the kiss of the blue mist as it wiped out all else, and nothing else mattered now and nothing could reach him.

The cries of pain had stopped now, the memories and the voices had scattered far away as if blown by four winds.

He was finally at peace.

Now sleep would bring with it nothing to fear because the blue mist chased away everything, even the terrible dreams…

Sleep without fear was something elusive without the drugs. Booze could have a similar effect but he could never be sure how soon the dreams would return, or how fast the voices would come back to him. And living in a part-haze always took the edge off the worst of the terror.

He knew he would sleep dreamlessly and wake feeling energized as the buzz kicked in and then it would be many hours before he needed sleep again – unless he knocked himself out and gained another concussion in the process…

Rebel was drifting.

_And then it called him._

He sat up, eyes wide as the softness around life's sharp edges slipped away and caught him at sharp angles, and all at once, as if life had just become a snare of razor blades.

He dragged in a breath as his hearts began to race in fear.

"This can't be happening!" he said loud, struggling to his feet and then staring towards the closed door.

_"No, I did a T bomb…this can't happen when I'm on blue…"_

He opened the door and looked down the corridor towards the console room. Then he felt that pull as if something unseen was tugging at him, and he folded his arms tightly about his body as he gave a cry of pain and doubled up. He was fighting for breath and it seemed as if pain was dragging through his flesh like fire, it was slow and terrible and there was nothing he could do to shut it out. It was not his pain, but pain that was calling to him…

_"LEAVE ME ALONE!"_ he shouted, and then he ran back down the corridor .

As he walked into the console room the calling stopped, along with the pain. It stopped abruptly and once again a feeling of weightless calm took over, punctured by waves of panic that made him feel as if he was walking a tightrope between both emotions.

"What's happening?" he whispered, looking around the empty room.

Then he leaned against the console, taking in a deep breath as he waited and listened, but nothing called to him now.

* * *

Moments later the Tardis door opened and Carla walked in.

Rebel stared at his unexpected visitor, and she stared back at him:

His hair was a mess, he looked like he had slept in his clothes and then rolled out of bed. He was leaning on the console and his eyes were like lasers as he gave her a look that seemed to go right through her.

_He was obviously high._

But it did not deter her from confronting him…

"Carla!" he said, "To what do I owe this unexpected pleasure?"

She glared at him.

"You thieving bastard!" she snapped, "The Doctor just had a procedure. I went to the pharmacy to get some more pain meds and that's when I saw a whole bottle of blue indigo was missing! You broke in, you stole from me!"

He ran his fingers through his hair and shrugged.

"I can pay you very well for it. I'll give you twice the going rate if it makes you feel better."

And he laughed nervously.

"_Feel better?_ Rebel, I want my property back!"

He looked at her as if she had just made the most insane request he had ever heard.

"I can't allow that, my need is _far_ greater than yours! You're not giving the doctor any blue, are you?"

"No, but that's not the point – you stole it. I want it back or I'm taking it back."

The look in his eyes changed.

"No, you _won't_ be doing that," he said in a low voice, "I can't allow it."

She stepped forward, casting a glance around the console room, and then she headed for the corridor.

"Where is it? I'll find it -"

He was up against the doorway in an instant blocking her path.

_"I said no."_

His eyes were blazing, the blue within fired up by the T bomb.

"Get out," he whispered, "You don't know what I can be like when I'm on it… _Get out!_"

She ignored his threats and made a move to push past him.

Suddenly he had her by her arms and his eyes were blazing brighter as he glared at her in fury.

"_I told you to go!"_

"Give me the drugs back!"

_"No! Fuck off!"_

He kept a tight grip on her as they struggled, and then he dragged her over to the console. As her back slammed against it she caught her breath and he saw fear in her eyes, and he let her go.

"I'm sorry," he said breathlessly, and then his voice slid into panic, "_I'm between sleeping and rushing and I can't do this right now…your drugs? No. Mine now. I need them. You can't have them back. Sorry I broke in. Sorry for everything, sorry for being me, sorry that I exist, sorry I'm not dead yet, how many more sorrys do you bloody want?_"

And then he slid to the floor with his back against the console and started to sob.

"Get out," he said tearfully, "Leave me alone…I'll pay you for the blue. Just let me rest - I just want peace, go, please just _go_…"

And he drew his knees up to his chest, fixed his gaze on the wall and said no more as his breathing began to slow and he tried desperately to get back that feeling of peace that was his only escape.

Carla took a cautious step forward, and then she sank to her knees in front of him.

"As long as you take that stuff your moods will never even out and your thinking will always be hazy," she reminded him, "And long term use can lead to personality changes, mood instability, paranoia –"

He was still looking past her as he spoke again.

"Yeah...already there. My life, my choice, not yours."

Then he drew in a deep breath.

"I just want to get back there…I had the right spot, the quiet place, the dreamless one where I can rest… Don't take that away, I can't live with the rest of it."

Carla leaned forward and put her arms around him, giving him a brief hug. As she let go again he finally met her gaze and his pupils were like pin pricks.

"At least if you take mine you know it's not been cut with something lethal," she said gently, "If you must take this stuff, its better you do it safely. I need to go and check on the Doctor now. Will you be okay?"

He nodded.

"I just want silence," he whispered, "Just peace with no sound to cut through it, sleep with no dreams and a life without pain. _I need to be empty._"

In that moment she saw pain in his eyes that was so deep and terrible it shocked her.

"What are you running from?" she asked quietly, but Rebel just leaned back against the console and closed his eyes.

"_Leave me,_" he whispered.

And then he watched her, keeping his gaze low to the floor as she turned in low-heeled shoes and walked out of the door, closing it behind her.

Then he took in a deep breath and tried to relax and pull back some of the borrowed peace that was swirling about his mind, because it was precious and he knew it wouldn't last forever…


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

_The Doctor was standing in his Tardis. He wasn't sure how he got there, because the last thing he recalled was sleeping as terrible pain began to fade after Carla had removed the implants and stitched his wounds. _

_But he was standing in his Tardis now, and suddenly he knew where he needed to be:_

_Back in the past, because it was the only place he could be with Carla Bailey – because his future belonged with Ace..._

_The Tardis materialised on the corner of a quiet street. _

_It was late at night and as she laughed and spoke to a friend and said goodnight before continuing down the street alone, he smiled, recognising her at once:_

_This was Carla, younger, back in the days when she had been a medical student and still lived on Earth, a long time before the Cassandra-Aurora._

_She was walking towards him in high heels that clicked as they hit the pavement, she was wearing a short black dress and had a glow about her that he could still make out by the street light, it was a look that said she had enjoyed a night out, she wasn't exactly drunk, more merry from a few drinks. She was still in control, she would know exactly what she was doing when..._

_And then it happened._

_As she walked up to him, she looked at him as if she knew him from somewhere, and he wondered if time had been kind enough to suggest that to her._

"_Did you have a good evening?" he asked._

"_Do I know you?" she said._

_He walked her to her door. _

_Then he kissed her goodnight, and that kiss was returned with passion. _

_Then she was desperately reaching for the key, turning it with impatience and pushing the door open and pulling him inside._

_They hit the carpet as soon as the door slammed shut and he tugged up her skirt and she wrapped her arms around him as they kissed, caressed, and then made love on the floor._

_Her kisses were hungry as she ran her fingers through his hair and he took her impatiently, not wanting to waste a second of this encounter._

_And then he held her close and whispered that they would always have this to remember, and she would recall it when they met again on the planet of Sabra..._

And then the Doctor woke up feeling exhausted as vague pains flickered through his body.

He blinked and the world came into focus, he recognised the room with pale walls and the machines around his bed that tracked his vital signs.

Carla was standing at his bedside, and he looked up at her and took in a breath, then realised breathing had become easier even though he had now been taken off the oxygen.

"How do you feel?" she asked him, "I've increased your pain relief."

He looked into her eyes.

"Do you remember the first time I held you in my arms?" he said weakly, "When I went back into your past?"

Confusion filled her eyes for a moment and then she shook her head.

"No," she said gently, "You _didn't _do that, Doctor – you've been dreaming."

He drew in a sharp breath and gave a sob.

"I wanted to know you before I met Ace...I thought I found you there, in the past -"

"It was a dream," she told him, wiping a tear from his face, "And please don't cry. I've got some good news for you – I've taken you off the anti toxin. It's worked as well as it possibly could. Your toxin levels are down to twenty three percent. That's much lower than I expected and very good news for you. I can't say how long it will stay that way, it could be weeks or months or even a year before the levels rise again – but for now, you can heal, your symptoms will disappear and although the remainder of the toxin prevents you from regenerating, it shouldn't stop you living a normal life while the levels stay low. At least for now, you're in remission."

He blinked away his tears and looked at her in surprise. Everything she just said had wiped out his pain at learning the trip back to her past had been a dream.

He started to smile.

"I've done it?"

She smiled back at him.

"This is as good as it gets until I can find a cure. But I'll never give up on it."

"I know you won't," he said warmly, "Thank you so much, Carla – you've given me what I wanted the most – _more time with Ace_."

And she felt an ache in her heart and wanted to cry but held it back. He was happy and hadn't realised how much pain those words had just caused.

"Of course." she replied, "I know you love her, you told me that."

The Doctor reached up and took her hand in a weakened grasp.

"I'm going back to Perivale as soon as I'm strong enough," he said, "And you're coming too. I'll find you an apartment and you can set up your lab and work on a cure."

"And even if I can't find a cure yet, you can always have more anti toxin if you need it," she reminded him, "I know the treatment was hard on you, but it does buy you time."

"_No."_

She took in a slow breath and looked intently at him, still holding back tears but now for a very different reason as she saw the look in the Doctor's eyes.

"No Carla," he said quietly, "I can't do this again. I can't go through this level of pain a second time. If there's no cure by the time the toxin level rises, I'm calling it a day. Then I'll be relying on you to control my pain until the end. I have very little strength left to keep fighting."

"But I have enough for both of us!"

She blinked away tears.

"I will _never_ give up on you!"

"But I am giving up," he told her, "I have more time with Ace. That's all I want, I know the time line seems to suggest I survive, but after all I've been through I'm not sure what to think any more. It was the worst pain I've ever felt. Who knows what could happen? Time can be a strange thing, it can twist and turn in unexpected ways and I have very little hope left for anything any more. I just want to enjoy the time I have left with my wife."

"Ace won't want you to give up."

"Ace won't know," he said, and his voice sounded stronger all of a sudden., "She wont know because I won't tell her until I have to. I want us to have some happiness before it's all over."

Carla nodded.

"It's up to you," she said quietly, "But I will work night and day to find an antidote. I will, I swear I won't let you down."

He smiled kindly at her.

"You could never do that. Now can you give me the phone, please? I want to call Ace."

* * *

Ten minutes later, Carla handed the phone to the Doctor and then walked over to the window, turning her back as he made the call to his wife.

She listened as she heard relief in his voice as he broke the news that the toxin levels had been reduced. Then he told her that the condition was, for now, in remission and there was a pause and as he told her not to cry, and his voice trembled as he held back tears, and then Carla wanted to cry too.

_It was clear the Doctor loved his wife. Ace would always come first..._

"No, don't worry about me," he said on the phone, "I'll be okay, I've still got a line in my arm but only to get fluid back into me. I've been really ill. It was the worst I've ever known. But I'll try and look my best when I see you again. It won't be long now, a couple of days and I should be ready to get out of here."

There was a pause, and then he said "I love you too. And I'm coming home as soon as I can. I'll see you very soon."

Then the call ended and Carla turned around, forcing a smile even though tears were threatening to fill her eyes.

"I'm glad you'll be well enough to leave soon," she told him, "I can see you and Ace belong together."

"I wont forget you," he said to her, "I'll make sure we have some time together too. How could I ever turn off my feelings for the woman who refuses to give up on me?"

And he reached for her and they embraced, but only briefly as the Doctor let go quickly.

"I need to get some rest," he said, I've got to hurry up and get well."

"You need to eat," she reminded him, "You won't be going anywhere until you get stronger."

"I'll try and hold it down," he replied, "I'll have some dinner tonight."

"Good," she replied, "I'll leave you to get some rest."

And then she walked out of the room, closed the door behind her and by the time she was halfway down the corridor her eyes were blinded with tears as she thought of the man she loved, giving up the fight, and choosing to spend his final days with Ace... She didn't know if or when she would be able to develop an anti toxin - it seemed that despite all the timeline suggested, time was _not_ on her side...

* * *

As Ace put down the phone, she turned to her mother and smiled.

"He's made it. He said the treatment worked, it's bought him some more time, it's got to be enough time to find a cure, I know it will be!"

And she hugged her, and then as she let go, Audrey saw joy shining in her eyes.

"The Professor's coming home!"

"Of course he is," Audrey said, "He's fought so hard because he wants more time with you, that's what happens when people are ill and they have to fight – its those they love who give them strength. He's alive because he loves you, and he doesn't want you to lose him."

Ace looked at her mother in surprise.

"I never thought of it that way before."

"That's his perspective," Audrey replied, "It's what happens when serious illness gets in the way of life – love gives you strength. Of course you didn't know that, you've never had to think about it – and I hope you never do."

Ace was still smiling, her eyes shining with joy.

"I think I might go out for a walk," she said, "It's a lovely day, I might go to the park."

Audrey smiled back at her.

"You do that," she told her, and then Ace was out the door and as she closed it behind her, Audrey's smile faded.

"Every day is lovely," she said quietly, "You just don't know it until something makes you realise."

And then she went into the kitchen and set about cooking dinner.

* * *

Ten minutes had passed since Ace left the house.

Audrey had set a saucepan of water on the hob to heat up while she started to prepare dinner. She was planning sausage and mash, with sausages cooked in the casserole dish with onions and gravy and mash made from real potatoes, not out of a packet.

As she worked she thought about the Doctor and guessed he would need feeding up when he came home. It sounded as if the treatment had taken a lot out of him and she didn't doubt he had lost weight because of it. She hoped that him and Ace would stay for a while, because life had not been easy when Ace had been younger and she wanted to make up for that lost time, to be close to her daughter – and hopefully get to know her new son in law, the man she had been so wrong about for so long...

_She fully intended to put that right._

As she thought of the way she had misjudged him, she regretted so much as she thought about times in the past when she had brushed off his attempts to get to know her with a look or a sharp word. It seemed she had made up her mind about him – and been wrong – right from the start. Looking back it was clear now, of _course_ he loved Ace. No doubt that love had been unspoken in the beginning, but now things had changed, and it was obvious her daughter loved him, too. And he had loved her enough to marry her even though it seemed his time was running out.

She had never taken the time to get to know the Doctor, and now she had changed her mind. When he returned for Ace, she would make sure he felt welcome into her home...

And then she heard the door open.

"Back already?" she said, smiling as she wondered if Ace had decided to come back in case the Doctor called her again.

And then she turned around, and the look in her eyes changed to one of shock.

There was a stranger in her house, a man standing in the open kitchen doorway and he was dressed in black but the style of his clothing was unlike anything she had seen before.

His dark hair was slicked back and as he met her gaze, cold eyes seemed to cut right through her.

"_Where is the Doctor?"_ he asked in a hushed voice.

She wanted to look away, because what she saw in his eyes chilled her to the bone...evil? Was that the right word for it? The word _evil _seemed so melodramatic, like something out of a horror film..but evil _was_ the right word. He gave it off like he carried an aura of death about him.

He was still looking at her.

"I said, where is he?" the man repeated.

"Who are you?" Audrey whispered, stepping back and almost knocking into a saucepan of water. She could hear it start to bubble as a silence passed between them and his cold eyes held her in his stare.

"I'm a friend of the Doctor," he told her, "He knows me as the Master. Is he here?"

A chill ran through her as the man continued to fix her with a stare that made the room feel cold. As he took a step closer her eyes widened and she caught her breath.

He smiled, as if picking up on her fear pleased him.

"Where is the Doctor?" he said again, and his voice had hardened.

"Not here," she said quickly, "If you're his friend, you'd know..."

Those eyes that chilled her were staring at her now, as if silently demanding an answer, and promising something terrible if she did not comply.

"I'm asking you one more time," he said darkly, "Where _is_ he?"

And something dark and terrible glittered in his eyes and as he took another step forward a thought flashed through her mind:

_This man is going to kill me..._

"Find him yourself!" she yelled, grabbing the pan of bubbling water and hurling the contents at him.

The water splashed in his face and hit the back of his hands as he raised them. He staggered back, and as she reached for a sharp knife she had left on a chopping block he bolted for the door.

Audrey gripped the knife in both hands and stood up tight against the kitchen worktop, frightened eyes fixed on the open doorway. She heard the door slam but she didn't move, apart from the shaking that took over her body as the shock set in.

She took in a trembling breath and still clung to the knife as she tried to tell herself the intruder had gone, and that it was safe now...but she waited.

She stood there with the knife in her hands, her eyes on the doorway as she listened, needing to be sure the stranger really had gone before she knew she could run to the hallway safely and grab the phone, and call the police.

* * *

Ace had spent the afternoon at the park. She had sat down and watched as children played and families went for walks and reflected on how the world could be just great sometimes. While the Doctor had been sick because of the toxin she had felt as if the whole universe was a dark and terrible place – but on a day like this, she could see beauty everywhere – even in Perivale.

And then she took a slow walk back to her mother's house, but soon broke into a run as she turned a corner and saw two police cars driving away.

"Mum?" she called out, pushing the gate open and dashing up the path.

And then the front door opened and she saw her mother standing there and breathed a relieved sigh.

"What's going on?" she asked her, "Why were the police here?"

And then she noticed her mother looked shaken.

"What's happened?"

Audrey closed the door behind her, and then she locked it and put the chain across, and slid the bolts top and bottom.

"What's the matter?"

Finally her mother spoke.

"I don't know what your husband's mixed up in, but a man broke in and he was asking for him."

"A man?" Ace felt confused as she saw the look of shock that lingered in her mother's eyes.

"I heard the door go, I thought you'd come back early. And then I turned around and there he was, in my house, standing in the doorway staring at me and all he kept doing was asking for the Doctor..."

She shivered as she recalled him.

"The look in his eyes, it was horrible, like he wanted to kill me! He came towards me and I threw some hot water in his face. That's when he ran. I've described him to the police and they've had a look at the door but they can't find any sign of how he broke in -"

"What did he look like?" Ace asked in a hushed voice as cold fear began to creep through her bones.

"Tall, dark hair, beard...and those eyes..I'll _never_ forget them. And he said he was the Master, that's what he said his name was? I've never heard of him, have you?"

Ace stared at her mother as she turned so cold her fingertips went numb.

"_The Master?"_

"That's what he said. And he was looking for the Doctor. What's your husband been up to, what's he mixed up in?"

Ace shook her head.

"Nothing," she told her, "He hasn't done anything wrong...what else did the Master say?"

Audrey thought about it.

"Nothing really, he kept asking me, _Where is the Doctor?"_

"It's okay now," Ace told her, trying to stay calm as the creeping cold that had covered her refused to lift, "Who ever he is, he's gone now. And I'm sure the Doctor will be able to explain everything when he gets back. Don't worry, I'm here now."

And she gave her mother a hug, keeping her own fears silent as she made a mental note that her bat was in her rucksack upstairs, along with three cans of nitro nine...

* * *

The Doctor was resting. He was resting and slowly recovering and for now, he was going to be just fine – after he had got over the effects of the anti toxin.

But even knowing that leant Carla no comfort as she waked away from his room, eyes blinded by tears as she thought only of her own loss and how she could never have all that desired, because that was the price of loving a married man...

And then she slammed into Rebel, who had just turned the corner and he placed his hands on her shoulders and as she looked up at the tall man dressed in black who carried a trace of the smell of burnt volcanic rock powder, she gave a sob.

"Leave me alone, Rebel. I don't have time for you."

"Why? What's happened?"

"Nothing," she replied, "The Doctor's fine -"

"Oh right...I forgot... you _hate _me."

She blinked to clear her vision.

"I didn't say that."

"But you probably do. Most people do...not at first, when they get to know me. They don't like me drinking too much or the fact that I'm a substance user -"

"You try and make it sound like you've done no wrong!"

His eyes widened.

"I haven't!" he said defensively, "I haven't hurt anyone! I'm the one who accepts the risks I run, and that's up to me."

"All I ever hear from you is _me_," she replied, "Don't you ever think about others? Because all you thought about when you stole from me was getting your fix."

"I thought we'd put that one to bed."

She shook her head.

"You just don't get it, do you? Just because I understood it doesn't make it right! I can see you needed the blue more than anything, and I felt sorry for you. But it doesn't change how I see you –"

"How do you see me?" he asked hopefully, "Handsome, charming? I know I'm not perfect but I prefer rogue to bastard... rough diamond, that's me."

"_You're just another selfish addict," _she replied, _"Now get out of my way. I can still smell the last T bomb you burnt up. You carry it with you, the smell of addiction!"_

He looked into her eyes as he spoke cautiously.

"Well I think you're a lovely girl and I wish you didn't hate me because I'm not a bastard, Carla. Yes I have a little problem -"

"_Little?"_

"But it's my problem and nothing to to do with anyone else. I have my reasons. Everyone has a story worth listening to and mine is no exception."

Her expression of annoyance was replaced by a look of curiosity.

"What _is_ your story? Is it a story worth listening to or just a string of excuses?"

All of a sudden his eyes darkened as they filled with grief and pain.

"_I know you love him,"_ he whispered, _"I know you love the Doctor. I also know you're weeping because all you want to do is have him all to yourself and you know that's never going to happen because he loves his wife! You're not shedding tears out of relief because he's recovering, you're crying for everything you can't have, even though you know his time could be limited because you __still __haven't found a cure! You just want him all to yourself, that's why you're crying. Now tell me, who's the selfish one around here, Carla?" _

For a moment she looked at him speechless.

"How...how could you possibly know all that? How can you know what I'm feeling?"

His eyes were fired up blue as the mist that made him high, but as he spoke again he was calm and measured and it was clear the effect of the drugs had long worn off; this was the real man behind the haze that he so often became lost in...

"_I know because I feel it, I can almost hear your thoughts!" _he said, as eyes like lasers seemed to cut into her mind, _"I can feel it and hear it and almost touch it! And I wish you would shut up because you don't know what loss means!"_

Her eyes widened as she looked back at Rebel.

_Yes, he was so much more than just another addict... _

_She wasn't quite sure what she saw in his eyes, but it was powerful, it was all-seeing and all-knowing and something beyond her comprehension, and it scared her..._

"What do you see?" he said in a low voice, "What do you see now when you look at me?"

"You're not like him," she said, "You're not like the Doctor. You're different. There's something inside you and..."

She drew in a sharp breath as she looked deeper into his eyes.

"Are you really a Timelord? Because if you're not like the Doctor, what _else_ could you be?"

"What do you _think_ I am?"

"I don't know," she whispered, "Why won't you tell me?"

His piercing eyes burned brightly as he looked back at her.

"_You're right,"_ he said quietly, "I'm _not_ like the others. Born of two fires, flames of death and the fire of regeneration. _I carry it with me, it's part of me. I was cursed from the moment I came into existence_."

And then he turned away and began to walk up the corridor back towards his Tardis.

"What do you carry?" she called out, "Rebel, what are you talking about?"

And suddenly she desperately wanted to know, she wanted to hear his explanation; she was ready to listen now...

But he had closed the door of his Tardis, and then as a sound of rushing wind filled the corridor, the dark blue police box with stained glass windows faded, shifted, and then disappeared.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

The days had passed slowly for the Doctor as he waited for his strength to return.

The worst effects of the anti toxin were fading now, no more pain flickered through his body even though it had only been a day since Carla took him off the pain relief.

He was also off the machines that tracked his vital signs and the needle in his arm was finally out.

_But he felt exhausted._

Carla had said he ought to expect it; he had just come through the hardest fight of his current life. He knew she was right, because he tired easily and felt unsteady and when he drew in a deep breath it didn't seem to reach the bottom of his lungs, the air felt thin and his head felt light. Carla wanted him to stay for a few more days to rest, but his mind was made up:

_It had been eight long days, far too long to be away from Ace – he was going home now, and when he thought of home he thought of that place as being anywhere in the universe where she was, and right now, she was on earth waiting for him._..

The Doctor had just buttoned up his shirt when Carla walked into the room.

"Are you sure you're ready to leave?" she asked him, "You don't have to leave now, you could wait a few more days, get some more strength back -"

"No," he told her and sounded very sure about it, "I need to be with Ace. And I can get plenty of rest when I'm on earth."

Carla paused for thought, and then she carefully explained something he wasn't yet aware of: "I spoke to Lexi. I asked her if we could come back here and use the facility again – if we needed to – and she said we could, she's planning to sell up but not yet, so we could use this place again if the need arises."

The Doctor blinked.

"_Why_ would I want to come back here after everything I've been through? This room will always remind me of pain, Carla! I'm through with that now. It's over, I'm going home to Ace."

She paused again. This was a difficult subject to bring up so soon, especially in light of the decision he had made to refuse further treatment if an antidote was not found...

"The time may never come," she said hopefully, "Perhaps I'll find an antidote and you won't need to think about this ever again, but if I still haven't found a cure, and you are faced with the toxin levels rising again, you may _not_ feel like giving up."

"I don't consider it giving up, more like knowing when enough is enough. The chemicals used to fight the toxin are highly volatile, even for a Timelord. How many times can I realistically go through that treatment? Once, twice? Sooner or later the anti toxin will kill me with repeated dosage, it's obvious."

"But as things stand now it's your only option."

"No," he replied, "The other option is to do nothing and accept my fate. At least that way I have no more pain and I get to fade out slowly and stop fighting."

Then he continued to get dressed, putting on his question mark jumper.

"But you might not fade away quietly," she said, "The toxin was designed to attack your central nervous system – once it gets in there I can't predict what will happen. You could be slowly crippled by it – or rapidly. You could wake up blind one morning, you could be paralysed. It won't be the easy way out you think it is."

"I've never found dying easy," he replied, "I've done it _many_ times before, I'm on my Seventh regeneration now – at least I've had a lot of practise for the last goodbye if it turns out that way."

"But the anti toxin therapy gives you a chance, don't you see that? You've been through hell, I know – but now you have more time with Ace. You could have this time all over again if you needed a repeat of the therapy."

He briefly smiled as he slipped his tie beneath his collar.

"_I can have this time or any time over and over if I feel like playing with the time controls, I have a Tardis, remember?"_

She gave a sigh.

"I'm not going to argue about this, I just want you to keep in mind the fact that we can come back here if we need to. And the anti toxin is there for you if you need it again. You may feel differently if the levels suddenly rise and you think hard about what you're gambling with."

"It's not a gamble," he said as he walked over to the mirror and straightened his tie, "I know what to expect. Either I take the antidote, or I don't. I all depends how time chooses to allow it to turn out."

Then as he looked into the mirror, he looked again – and saw a changed man, one who had very much been ravaged by the effects of the anti toxin:

_His jacket had been a perfect fit before but now seemed a size too big. Visible puncture wounds were healing on the side of his neck where an implant had been removed, and his face was pale and that pallor seemed more noticeable due to the deep shadows beneath his tired eyes. He looked weak and pale and tired and had lost weight, and couldn't hide any of this. He hoped Ace wouldn't cry too much when she saw him again..._

Then he leaned closer to the mirror and ran a hand over short dark hair that had thinned out noticeably. There was a small area on the side of his head that had been shaved when Carla had been left with no other choice but to open up the wound and clean out the toxin.

Now all that remained of that wound was a thin line, a neat scar that was healing rapidly as the stitches pulled it tight.

"I look a mess!" he said to his reflection.

Then he went over to the trolley that contained the scissors and reached past them, picking up the barbers clippers. He set the razor on to number two and then handed it to Carla.

"Are you sure?" she asked him.

The Doctor pulled out a chair and grabbed a hand towel and draped it around his shoulders as he sat down in front of the mirror.

"There's no other way to sort it out," he told her.

Carla plugged in the razor and then stood behind him, but hesitated once more.

"Are you really sure you want me to do this?"

"I can't look any worse for it," he replied.

She switched on the razor and it snapped sharply to life and filled the room with a low hum. Through the glass the Doctor saw reflected the one item he was yet to put on, it was next to his question mark umbrella on top of the bed.

"I can always wear my hat," he replied, "It's no big deal..."

* * *

Rebel was in his Tardis.

He was somewhere in deep space where few stars shone, and he was unsure of his exact location and couldn't be bothered to check on the console to find out.

He had felt no need for another T bomb just yet, but a few shots of vodka had eased the sadness in his twin hearts as he recalled the way he had walked away from the planet of Sabra. Then he thought of all the times others had walked away from him; getting to know him had been enough.

_They had all left._

_Everyone left in the end..._

But it had been different this time – he had been the one who chose to leave.

He had been so close to sharing the truth, perhaps too close...

He didn't know who he was or what his purpose was in this regeneration.

Rebel thought about it as he looked into the darkness of space:

_Who was he this time around?_

Perhaps the polite, gentlemanly fellow played by the rules and believed in fairness.

_No. He had been there and done that in his Fifth life._

Or maybe he was the handsome ladies man.

Yes, he liked that idea.

_But that had been back in his Tenth regeneration. _

Now he was number Fourteen, the only ladies who paid him attention were ladies of the night who expected payment for services rendered – apparently all other women did _not_ feel drawn to him when he was drunk, nor were they lured by the tell-tale smell of burnt volcanic rock that always seemed to cling to his clothing...

He still didn't know who he was, he was no closer to finding an answer no matter how hard he thought about it. All he knew for sure was that in this life he was the lost one, the failure, the man with no purpose who lived out his days in a haze of blue mist to block out the pain and the cries for help that seemed to come not only from a past that haunted him, but from all around him, too...

He didn't feel proud of the fact that he had come so close to telling Carla Bailey everything, and then lost his nerve and walked away.

_Perhaps he had not walked._

_It felt more like he had turned and ran... _

And then he remembered again that Carla Bailey was destined to die at the hands of the Master, and he gave a weary sigh as he knew in a single beat of his twin hearts that he could not allow that to happen, although he wasn't quite sure why, when any kind of activity involving bravery or fighting in the name of good was something he usually closed his eyes to. But he _had_ to save her, he knew it for certain.

With that thought in mind he turned his Tardis around and set off on a course for earth, following instinct, but not quite knowing the reason why.

* * *

After eight long and difficult days, the Doctor had finally left the planet of Sabra.

He had wanted to leave alone and come back later to pick up Carla, because all he really wanted to do now his ordeal was over, was to go home to Ace and rest in her arms, and forget for a while about the loose ends that needed tying up.

But Carla had insisted on coming with him, and not because her lab equipment was already packed – she knew he was weak and felt concerned at the thought of him flying the Tardis alone.

_And she had been right to worry._

The walk from the facility to the Tardis had been difficult; he had been forced to stop several times to catch his breath and to fight off waves of weakness and sudden spells of dizziness, but now they were on their way...

As the Tardis travelled towards earth the Doctor leaned heavily on the console, drawing in a slow breath.

"Are you okay?" Carla asked him.

And he looked up at her and then straightened his hat.

"It fitted me so much better before," he remarked, and then he answered her question, _"I thought the floor was shaking but then I realised it was me. I just want to see Ace, I want to hold her and then sleep for a very long time. I feel exhausted."_

"The weakness will fade," she promised him, "Probably within the next few days, that's when you'll notice the most improvement. But the general tiredness will take much longer, probably a couple of months."

He looked at her across the console and smiled, and in that moment his eyes lit up in such a way it seemed to defy his weakness.

"Hand me the phone, the one I fixed for long distance calls."

She took the mobile phone from her pocket and gave it to him.

"I'm going to surprise Ace," he said fondly.

* * *

Ace was alone in the house.

She had finally persuaded her mother to go out and visit friends – a big step to take, considering it had only been three days since she had been confronted by the Master in her kitchen.

As Ace sat alone in the front room she looked at the clock. It was almost noon, yet there was no sign of the Professor. She thought back to all the other Doctor had told her about what was to come and felt certain she hadn't got any of it wrong – she had been distraught at the time he had explained everything to her, but she was certain he had said the Professor would be back in eight days...

And then the phone rang.

She picked it up quickly.

"Hello?"

"Hello sweet heart," said the Doctor, "Have you missed me?"

Her heart started to race as she fought back tears. _Had she missed him? What sort of a question was that, of course she had, she'd missed him like crazy!_

"You know I have!" she exclaimed, "Every day, every night, when are you coming back? I just want to put my arms around you, I want to do that so bad my arms are hurting, Professor!"

"_Then you'd better open the front door,"_ he said, _"I'm outside."_

* * *

As the Doctor ended the call, he leaned against the porch and waited for Ace to open the door. He never thought he would miss Carla at a moment like this, but he just wanted someone to help him stand up straight, and she wasn't there because he had given her some cash and told her to find somewhere to stay nearby, and the porch was not comfortable to lean against, because he was leaning on the arm that had taken the IV line and the anti toxin, and it still ached.

He felt weary and exhausted and he hoped Ace would not be too upset when she saw him again, because the treatment had certainly taken its toll...

And then he had no more time to think about anything, because she opened the door.

"Professor!" she exclaimed, and threw her arms around him.

"I've missed you so much, I've missed you..." she was kissing him now, hugging him again and kissing his cheek, and then his lips, and then she gave him another hug, as he clung to her weakly and hoped she would soon work out too much of these big hugs would probably knock him over in his current physical state.

"Ace, I need to sit down."

She took him by the hand and led him inside, closing the door behind them.

"I'm _so_ glad you're home!"

"Me too," he replied, "And as you can see I'm not quite the same as I was the last time you saw me."

"It was only eight days ago -"

Ace fell silent.

Now she had noticed, she saw how pale he looked, how shadows hung beneath his tired eyes, and how his jacket suddenly seemed a size too big.

"I need to lie down," he told her, and she heard it in his voice at once – he wasn't over the treatment yet, he was exhausted and fragile and suddenly she wished she could wrap him in a blanket and then wrap her arms around him and keep him safe forever, in her arms where nothing and no one could ever cause him harm again.

"Come on Professor," she said as she put her arm around him, "I'll help you upstairs."

* * *

As Ace helped the Doctor to climb the stairs, he paused twice to catch his breath. The climb was slow and he leaned against her all the way. When they reached the top of the stairs she steered him towards her bedroom.

"I bet Audrey got a shock when she saw your wedding ring. And she won't like me staying here. We're better off going back to the Tardis soon – I left it around the corner."

Ace said nothing in reply as he took in another weak breath and sat down heavily on her bed, and she sat down beside him.

Then he turned to her and smiled playfully and she saw a brief flash of the man he used to be, in the days before the toxin had destroyed his health.

"So, how is life in Perivale, have I missed much?"

Ace shook her head, remembering she had her bat and cans of nitro nine and if the Master came back, he would have to contend with her – the Doctor was far too fragile to stand up to a fight with anyone. She would tell him later, when he was stronger...

"It's been quiet here," she said to him.

"That's what I like to hear," he replied, placing his umbrella next to the bed and then slipping off his jacket, "It's always good to know there's no trouble on this planet for once!"

And Ace felt a prickle of guilt, but remembered that right now, in his current weakened state, it was more important to protect him than give him news that would prevent him from resting and delay his chances of a rapid recovery.

"You need a lie down," she said gently.

"Good idea," he agreed, "And I hope you're coming with me, I've missed waking up next to you!"

And then he kicked off his shoes and got comfortable on top of the covers, still sitting up as he met with her gaze, and then he fell silent for a moment as he paused, gathering his thoughts.

"I need to explain something," he said, "It's not permanent, but I had to go for a slight change...just believe me when I say it looks better now than it did before!"

And he took off his hat and placed it on top of his jacket, before looking back at her.

Ace noticed the scar first of all, stitches still held together a healing wound to the side of his head. Then it hit her that his hair had been shaved down to dark stubble.

Tears filled her eyes as she recalled how she used to run her fingers through the dark curls at the back of his neck.

"It's not _that_ bad, is it?" he wondered, sounding a little worried.

Ace recalled all the other Doctor had said to her and managed to smile as she reached out and ran her hand over his cropped hair.

"No, it's fine," she promised, "And it won't take long to grow back."

"But you look like you want to cry."

"Only because I'm so happy to have you back home with me," she told him, and she put her arms around him and held him tightly.

"I've missed you so much, I love you so much and I'm so glad you're back, Professor."

"I love you too," he told her, and as he settled back against a soft pillow that carried the scent of her hair, she lay down beside him and held him gently in her arms.

"Oh this feels like bliss!" he exclaimed as he closed his eyes, "I've missed your closeness so much, the warmth of you, the scent of your skin... I've missed _you_. This is home to me, being in your arms."

And he gave a contented sigh.

"I never want to be away from you again," Ace told him, "I've decided, I can't be so far away from you again, not ever, no matter what happens, I want to face it with you. And don't worry about my mum – she's really changed her mind about you...Professor?"

Then Ace smiled as she realised why he had fallen silent. He was unable to reply because he had slipped into a deep and restful sleep.

"That's better," she said softly, "You sleep, Professor. You need to rest."

And then she kissed his cheek and settled down next to him, holding him gently as he rested. And the Doctor slept on deeply and easily, comforted by the closeness of the woman he loved.

* * *

The Master had used a tissue restorative as soon as he had gone back to his Tardis. The burns had been deep and had taken several days to fade.

He had not attempted to return to the home of Ace and her mother, because he had concluded the Doctor was not there. She had said, _Find him yourself._ That suggested that perhaps the woman did not know where the Doctor was...

He wondered where Ace was. Surely where ever the Doctor was, the woman would be with him? He had said on board the Cassandra-Aurora, that Ace was now his wife.

Was she still his wife, or was she now his widow?

That thought was still nagging at him, the question would not stop revolving around in his mind. And he was not quite sure _why_ he did not like the finality of knowing his long standing mortal enemy was now gone...

It spelled the end of battles, the end of having a meddling Timelord putting a stop to his plans for power. Perhaps it had been fun, up to a point...

He walked around his console, thinking carefully about his destination.

_Earth or Sabra?_

He had to know for sure.

He was still thinking on the decision when a light blinked on his console.

Surprise registered in his eyes.

"_An incoming message f__ro__m a Tardis?"_ he said aloud, and he turned a dial and opened up a channel.

The screen cleared.

He saw a background that displayed the view of a wide console room, but the monitor was cracked. And then a man peered into the camera. His hair was a mess, his eyes were glazed and as he blinked and then looked at him with a wild stare, eyes burning bright blue and pupils like pinpricks.

"Who are you?" The Master demanded.

The man started to smile.

"Well Hello to you, Master. Why do they call you that, _Master_? That would imply you are a dominant male who likes...Oh that could be a plan!"

And he smiled excitedly, before shaking his head and cancelling the thought.

"No no...forget it. I'm into girls only in this regeneration. But don't say anything to anyone else about me and, you know...the _S and M_ thing... "

Then he blinked a couple of times, and looked intently into the screen again.

"Where was I? Oh yes, that's it...I was about to tell you I'm the Doctor, one of them, at least. _And __y__ou're the biggest power hungry, self important prick the entire universe has ever known. Have a seat on this!_"

And he stuck his middle finger up to the camera as he laughed.

The Master's face contorted into a mask of pure rage.

"You would insult me, after regenerating into.._what?_ A washed up, burnt out excuse for a Timelord?"

Rebel chuckled.

"I know...And it's _great_ fun sometimes! I'm Fourteen, the black sheep, the outcast, the knob who no one wants at parties. So, are you up for some more abuse, or do you want to come and kill me?"

And then he stepped back from the camera to pause to swig from a vodka bottle.

"I'm totally wasted," he added, "I'm so pissed I don't think I'll be able to fly my own Tardis...Oh, you look _really_ angry...I hope I've got weapons...I can't remember if I have or not..."

The Master glared at him.

"_I am going to destroy you!"_ he thundered, and Rebel stared into the camera.

"Oh dear.." he said, "I thought you might say that. _You'll have to catch me first!_"

And then he shut off the screen, laughing as he put down the vodka bottle. There was no vodka in it because he had already finished it off eight hours before, but through a monitor, water looked convincing... It had been a pure stroke of luck as he travelled in his Tardis that he had, at the speed he was going, almost literally run into the Master. He didn't usually get involved in the lives of any of the Doctors, but after meeting his Seventh incarnation, there was absolutely _no way_ he was going to let the Master get away with what he had done to him...

He watched on the viewing screen as the Master's Tardis began to power up ready to give chase. Then he hung on to the console and slammed down the lever with his foot, keeping it on the lever because it was loose.

Then the Tardis shot away from the scene and the Master's ship gave chase.

And as he hurtled through time and space, Rebel laughed manically as he sped on towards a place most ships steered clear of, but one that he often liked to fly in when he was wasted.

"_Let's play bumper cars!"_ he exclaimed excitedly, and the Tardis rushed onwards with the Master's ship in pursuit, as Rebel lured him between planets towards a rather volatile asteroid belt...


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

The Master stood at his console with angry eyes fixed on the Tardis as it sped on as he gave chase. And then the police box came to a sudden halt, pausing to revolve calmly.

"You just made a grave error, Doctor," he said darkly, "I have you this time!"

And as the Tardis with the stained glass windows continued to stall in mid-flight, the Master accelerated.

As the stars flashed by, he laughed.

"Too drunk to fly your own ship?" he exclaimed, "No doubt you forgot your shields, too!"

And he laughed again as he sped towards the Tardis, knowing all it would take was a glancing blow to send the ship hurtling towards a nearby planet. Perhaps the Tardis would still be recognisable after the impact, but the Timelord would perish...

Victory glittered in his eyes.

He was seconds from striking the fatal blow.

And then the look of smug satisfaction was wiped from his face as the Tardis shot upwards and then sped off.

"_NO!"_ he yelled, pushing his own ship to maximum speed.

As he shot forward, his eyes widened in alarm, around the same time he saw the sea of asteroids and felt the impact as the first slammed into his shields and then bounced off, hit another and slammed into him again.

The Master clung to the console as his ship was buffeted violently.

He looked sharply at the viewing screen and glared at the Tardis as it zipped with ease between asteroids.

"_He stopped to plot a course?" _he thundered, and then he tried to steer clear another incoming hit, but slammed into another asteroid, and then he clung to the console as rage burned in his eyes.

The Doctor had zipped between the asteroids at speed, it must have been a wild ride but he was now out in clear space, his Tardis calmly turning as if waiting patiently for the loser of the race to limp home.

The Master's ship shuddered with the blow from another asteroid, and he gave up on trying to reach for the controls and hung on, knowing it would be a long time before he was free of moving objects and able to make a move that would shift him out of the path of the asteroids.

And then the patiently revolving Tardis faded in and out of sight and disappeared.

"_I''ll kill you!"_ the Master raged, and then his ship was knocked sideways by another glancing blow, and he reached again for the controls, desperate to make an escape before his shield system failed.

* * *

On earth, it was early morning in Perivale.

The Doctor had spent a restless night beside Ace. He knew he had slept deeply, because when he woke up around midnight he had discovered she had undressed him, and now he was under the covers instead of on top.

Then he had gone back to sleep and woken again around four in the morning, after a bad dream that relived the pain of a scalpel slicing into his flesh. The Doctor had soon realised that it had been triggered by falling asleep with his healing scar pressing against the pillow, so he had turned on his back and then Ace had moved closer and held him tighter and then he had gone back to sleep.

Now the Doctor was dreaming again - but this time he didn't want the dream to end:

_He was in his bedroom in the Tardis, caught in tangled sheets in a bed warmed by the closeness of their bodies as he rolled her on her back and kissed her deeply._

_He was aching for her and trying to hold _back_, desperate to make the moment last, but she was wrapping her legs around him and holding back was impossible_...

And then the Doctor opened his eyes.

He gave a sigh and started to smile as he realised what had just triggered that dream – Ace was gently and patiently caressing him. He ran his fingers through her hair and then caught his breath as her kisses and warm breath against his skin sent a sharp bolt of pleasure through his body.

He knew he was out of breath as his twin hearts raced as if he had just run up a steep hill. As he grabbed at the sheets in a crushing grip he gave another gasp, and then he let go of the sheet as his hearts began to slow and breathing became easier. As he gave a sigh and started to get his breath back, Ace came up from under the covers.

"You shouldn't have done that," the Doctor said to her, "I'm too weak to make love, I can't return the favour!"

And then he laughed softly as their eyes met.

"I've missed you, sweetheart - even though you take _advantage _of me while I'm sleeping!" And he playfully touched the tip of her nose.

Ace kissed him softly, and then as she looked at him she felt thankful life was starting to return to normal – the Professor's face was flushed - that was her fault, but he looked so much better already. Even the shadows beneath his eyes had started to fade away.

Love shone in his eyes as he spoke again.

"It's so good to wake up next you instead of alone in a white room,"he said softly, stroking her hair as she rested her head on his shoulder, "Oh...and I almost forgot – I met another Doctor while I was on Sabra."

"I thought Carla was treating you?"

He was glad her head was still on his shoulder so she couldn't see the look of guilt in his eyes. _Yes, Carla had certainly treated him to a little something and he knew he never should have asked her to do it..._

"No," he said, moving the conversation along, "I meant, another one of _me_ – number Fourteen."

Ace looked up at him, resting her chin on his chest.

"Really? How did you find him?"

"He came to visit me while I was having treatment. Seeing him and my Ninth regeneration gives me something to hope for – they wouldn't be here if I didn't eventually survive the toxin."

"Of _course_ you're going to survive!" Ace said to him, "You have to keep believing that!"

The Doctor's thoughts had turned back to Rebel.

"_He's got an addiction."_

"Who has?" Ace wondered.

"Rebel – number Fourteen. He's a powdered rock user, he sets it alight to inhale the vapour. Addicts call it a T bomb, or blue mist. I knew it as soon as I met him, I could smell it on his clothing."

"But why would one of you have a problem like that?"

The Doctor thought for a moment.

"I don't believe it is a problem – well, not exactly... I think he takes that stuff for a reason."

"Yeah - and his reason is, he wants to get out of his head because he's a junkie!"

He smiled fondly at Ace.

"Nothing is ever as simple as it looks," he told her,""There's always a reason for circumstances. I think he deliberately sought out the blue mist, and he had a good reason for choosing to take it."

Her eyes widened.

"I can't believe you're defending him, he's taking drugs!"

"I know he is, but blue volcanic rock powder has more than one use."

"And he's using it to get high!"

"No," the Doctor replied, "There's more to it. Apart from its legal use in various medicines, it can also be taken in its purest form by empaths who wish to block the receptors in their brain."

Ace looked confused.

"I don't get it. What's an empath?"

"Someone who can feel the emotions of others," he replied, "I mean literally _feel_ it. Thanks to his difficult regeneration he suffered some kind of mutation that caused his brain to become wide open to signals from all over time and space, and unfortunately for him, he can only tune in to the pain of others. Of course he needs to block it, he'd go insane if he couldn't shut it out sometimes."

"How do you know all this?" she asked.

The Doctor's eyes sparkled.

"I get around, Ace. I've been to many times and places, and I've heard all the stories. They tell of a man who travels the universe in a dark blue box with stained glass windows and follows the voices of those who are calling for help. And there's something he doesn't know about himself yet – he can lift out pain from others and internalise it, and his unique system can turn that pain into euphoria. If he ever finds another way to block the empathic signals, he won't need the blue mist any more."

"He might get used to hearing it eventually," Ace said to him, "If it's all around him he probably will get used to it at some point."

No," he replied, "Rebel will _never_ get used to hearing screams of pain and the cries of the dying. It would drive him insane. He needs to find another way to turn it off."

Ace thought some more about Rebel.

"So I was wrong about him, then. He's _not_ just a junkie."

"Few people are _just _anything," The Doctor reminded her, "Everyone has a story to tell."

"You're right," she replied, "I guess there is more – reasons, circumstances."

And then she settled down in his arms to rest beside him as the morning sun rose higher in the sky.

* * *

After sleeping for another hour, the Doctor was woken by a kiss from Ace as she set down a tray containing a cooked breakfast and a cup of tea. He did his best to eat most of the breakfast and drank the tea, and then he got up, showered and got dressed.

As he put on his clothes, Ace sat on the edge of the bed and watched him, noticing his scars were healing well and the bruises left on his arms from needle marks were starting to fade already.

"Carla said you'd recover quickly."

The Doctor put his hat on and reached for his umbrella.

"And she was right – I feel much better just for the sleep I had last night – I'm not so sore now. I still feel tired, but not like I did. _I think I'm okay to leave now_."

A brief flicker of panic reflected in her eyes as Ace looked sharply at him.

"We can't leave – it's too soon."

She knew she has spoken urgently and she knew the Doctor had picked up on the look of fear in her eyes – of course he had, because he missed nothing...

And now he was looking at her expecting the truth and nothing less.

"What are you hiding, Ace?"

She hesitated.

"Ace? I need to know."

She took in a deep breath and let it out slowly, turning to the window as she gathered her thoughts. This would not be easy. No matter how she explained, _nothing_ would change the fact that she had hid the Master's visit from him.

"I didn't want to worry you. I still don't, you've been back for one night -"

"Ace, I want the truth."

She turned back and stepped closer to him, and looked at him pleadingly.

"I didn't want you to know, not yet, not until you felt stronger...he was here. The Master broke in three days ago. He was asking for you. My mum scared him off. I wasn't in when it happened. What if I leave and he comes back again?"

Her voice was breaking up as she gave a sob.

"_I just couldn't tell you, I wanted you to rest and get _stronger_ before -"_

"Shhh..." he said, and put his arms around her, "I'm not angry with you, it's okay."

Ace was still tearful as she clung to him. But as he embraced her he felt another flicker of guilt – he had secrets too, and Ace would _not_ be so forgiving if he matched her honesty and told her all she didn't know about him and Carla...

Ace let go of him and stepped back as she blinked away tears.

"You're not angry?" she sounded surprised.

"Of course I'm not! I know you wanted to protect me!" then he smiled and added, "What was the plan, see him off with a few cans of nitro nine?"

And then Ace was smiling too.

"Something like that."

He kissed her cheek.

"Let's go back to the Tardis."

"But what about the Master?" she asked as she picked up her rucksack.

"He came looking for me, didn't find me and then he left. I don't think he's coming back here again."

They left the bedroom and stood together in the upper hallway as the Doctor paused for thought.

"_Why_ did he come back?"

"He wants to know if you're still alive?" Ace guessed.

The Doctor was still thinking deeply on his own theory.

"But why? He knows there's no cure without the antidote, so_ why?_"

Her eyes widened.

"Are you saying he regrets what he did when he smashed the antidote?"

"Perhaps. He could be imagining a universe without a challenge, no one to stand up to him – even victory can become boring if it's predictable. I'm his rival. Perhaps he's not sure if he's going to like a life with no Doctor there to stop him. If he kills me he knows the regenerations stop, it all ends with my death..."

"So you think he's changed his mind?" Ace had spoken in a hushed voice, the possibility that the Master could turn the situation around hand hand him the antidote was too much to dare to hope for.

He shrugged.

"Maybe. Or perhaps he was just desperate for confirmation that was I gone, who knows? Come on Ace, let's get back to the Tardis."

* * *

"Doctor – are you leaving already?"

As he reached the door he turned back to see Audrey standing in the hallway.

She looked at Ace and noticed she had her rucksack.

"You don't have to go yet, do you?"

"We're going away for a while," the Doctor told her, "Sorry I didn't say hello when I got here but I was tired, I've been sleeping since yesterday."

"I know," Audrey replied, and then she smiled, "Ace told me last night. She said you was very tired, so I thought I'd better leave you to sleep. You're looking well, by the way – I mean, considering what you've been through."

She had spoken so warmly, that warmth had been unexpected and the Doctor looked at her in surprise.

"Thanks," he replied.

"And I just want to say I'm glad you two got married, it's about time!"  
"Is it?" he said, "I wasn't sure you'd feel that way."

"Of course I do! And I'm so glad you're on the mend. It couldn't have been easy. I can see you've been through a lot, but at least you've won the fight."

"I have for now," he replied, and then Audrey stepped closer and hugged her daughter and then looked fondly to the Doctor.

"Keep in touch, don't stay away for too long. Next time I see you both I'd like you stay a bit longer – if you've got the time."

"We'll definitely do that," Ace promised, and then she walked out of the door and up the path towards the gate. The Doctor followed, but then Audrey called him back.

As he met her on the porch she lowered her voice and spoke quickly as Ace waited for him by the gate.

"I really am happy for you both. And I just wanted to say, I know what you've been through. Been there myself, I found a lump two years ago."

"Ace didn't tell me."

"Ace didn't know."

She put her arms around him and hugged him tightly.

"_Don't you ever stop fighting, Doctor," _she whispered, _"Never give up."_

And then she let go of him.

The Doctor smiled.

"We'll see you again soon," he said warmly, and then he walked back up the path towards the gate, where Ace was still waiting for him.

* * *

It felt good to return to the Tardis.

As the Doctor closed the door he noticed the familiar hum that filled the console room seemed slightly louder today, as if the ship was welcoming him back.

"So where are we going now, Professor?" Ace had an excited sparkle in her eyes as she turned for the corridor and headed down to his bedroom.

"Going?" the Doctor repeated, and he followed her into the room.

Ace placed her rucksack on the floor next to his wardrobe and then sat down on his bed.

"At last we get to spend some time alone!" she exclaimed.

The Doctor paused in the open doorway as his gaze lingered on her smile and the way her eyes shone. That look in her eyes sparkled even more as he slipped the knot from his paisley tie and left it hanging loose as as he unbuttoned the top of his shirt.

"Want to go back to bed, Professor?" she asked him, "I think we should, and then I think we should go somewhere nice and peaceful for a few days -"

"Ace -"

""You can show me some new places, we could just take things easy, relax and enjoy being together -"

"_Ace!"_

The sparkle vanished from her eyes as she heard his sharp tone, and now he felt bad for yelling at her.

"Professor?"

Hurt still reflected in her eyes.

"We cant go any where," he said quietly.

And it was then she noticed the weary expression on his face, the tiredness that was still present in his eyes. Of _course_ they wouldn't be going anywhere, he was far from recovered...

"Maybe we can get back to normal in a few weeks time?" she suggested hopefully.

The Doctor gave a sigh as he closed the bedroom door, then walked over to the dresser and slipped off his tie and took off his jumper and then hung his hat on a hook on the wall.

"No," he said quietly, "We can't do that, Ace. I'm okay for now. That could change at any time. I can't risk going back on my travels. Life is not back to normal. It may _never _return to normal for me."

Then he got on the bed and wearily laid back against soft pillows.

"Carla has to check my blood every week. Those toxin levels could raise at any time. And when they do, I'm not sure what I ought to do about it."

He wished he had kept that thought silent, because she looked at him with wide eyes and when she spoke her voice was hushed.

"What do you mean?"

He looked away.

"_Professor?"_

Ace sounded scared, and that was the last thing he wanted to make her feel at a time like this, he knew he had said too much.

"I just mean I don't want to think about facing all that treatment again if Carla can't find a cure. I just want to rest and enjoy some time with you, can you understand that?"

As she looked at him, he wondered if she was going to cry, but instead she put her arms around him and held him tightly.

"Of course I understand!" she said as she held him, "We get more time together, that matters more than anything."

He hugged her tightly as he recalled every moment he had ever spent with the girl from Perivale.

"I love you," he whispered.

"I love you too," she told him.

And then they separated sharply as a tapping sound echoed from outside.

"What was that?" Ace whispered.

It sounded again, three loud knocks on the bedroom door that echoed in the corridor beyond.

The Doctor's eyes widened.

"Someone's in the Tardis!" he exclaimed.

Ace took in a slow breath as she looked to the closed door and the intruder knocked again. She thought of the Master, and then remembered her nitro nine was in her rucksack, and within easy reach...

* * *

Ace had no time to reach for the explosives as the door opened and a man entered the room. He was tall and dressed in black – but thankfully was _not_ the Master.

"Hi guys," he said, "I heard you having a chat...didn't sound like anything _else_ was going on..." And then he laughed nervously, noticing the Doctor was on the bed minus his tie and Ace was sitting beside him – and neither looked too pleased to see him...

"_If I've interrupted something, don't mind me at all – I'll just wait in the console room until you've finished. I won't listen or anything. So just crack on and have some fun...I don't mind waiting."_

And he smiled.

Ace stared at him, and as she spoke up, her question was for the Doctor:

"Who is this joker, Professor?"

He gave a sigh.

"This gentleman is my Fourteenth incarnation, this is Rebel."

And Rebel went over to the bed and held out his hand. As Ace made a move to shake it he drew it to his lips and kissed it, and then he let go and turned to the Doctor.

"Sorry for barging in like this, but all Doctors have the same Tardis key, it's not as if I broke in -"

"What do you want?" the Doctor asked him.

Rebel answered with complete honesty.

"I'm sorry about leaving Sabra the way I did. I should have stayed, given you support. I can't forget the pain you went through and I still want to help."

Then he fell silent, omitting the fact that while this was true, he also had plans to save Carla Bailey when the time arrived...

The Doctor settled back against his pillows and glanced at Ace.

"I could really do with a cup of tea."

"What?"

"Could you make us some tea please, Ace?"

And Ace caught a look in his eyes and understood at once – he wanted time alone with his troubled future self.

"Okay, I'll go and do that," she said, and got up from the bed.

As she reached the doorway Rebel spoke up.

"Can I have mine black with a slice of lemon?"

Ace glanced at the Doctor.

"Does the Tardis kitchen have lemons?"

He smiled.

"I'm sure it will have lemons for him," he replied, and then Ace left the room and as she closed the door he got comfortable and watched as Rebel grabbed a chair from beside the dressing table and placed it next to the bed and sat down.

"I need to talk to you," he said, and the Doctor gave him a knowing look.

"I had a feeling you might say that," he replied, and then he looked intently at his future self, waiting for the Timelord known as Rebel to start talking about everything he had held back for far too long.

* * *

Rebel remained silent at first, gathering his thoughts before he spoke up. Then he took in a deep breath and started to explain:

"I didn't mean to impose on you like this. But I had to see you. I can't forget your pain, I can still feel it... if that makes sense."

"Am I in pain now?" the Doctor asked him.

Rebel shook his head.

"No, it's gone. Even the emotional pain has faded. I know because I can feel it from you."

The Doctor smiled again.

"You're learning," he told him.

"About what?"

"About yourself. I know you hear the voices and the screaming and only a T bomb can block it out for a while. I know you can feel the pain of others. When you're stronger and ready to take on the universe, you'll also find you have the ability to lift out pain from others. And your own chemistry will convert the negative into positive energy and turn it into a natural high. You're empathic, but unfortunately you can only tune into pain. I think that's something to do with your regeneration. You'll have to help me out with the rest, because I've heard the stories. I've been around and I've heard the tales of the man dressed in black who flies a Tardis with stained glass windows. But you'll have to tell me the rest."

Rebel's eyes widened as he stared at him.

"Tales about me? What kind of tales?"

"_About your future,"_ the Doctor told him, _"They say you're the man who can lift out pain, the one who can heal broken spirits and bruised bodies, you're the man whose voice can unite warring nations. They also say you follow the cries of those in fear and pain and cross the universe to __put things right. You're a peacemaker, the only hope of those who are oppressed. You're going to do great things when the time is right."_

"You can't be talking about me," Rebel replied, "You don't know about my past, about my regeneration – I still hear the screams of the dying as the planet burned up. It's fixed in my mind -"

"No!" the Doctor said firmly, "You carried those memories because you had a traumatic regeneration. You fought against the process and the result was the mutation that gave you the abilities that you have!"

Pain reflected in his eyes.

"Which makes me a freak."

"No, it makes you different, _unique! _You just have to accept it."

Rebel thought for a moment, and then he realised something:

"I can lift out pain? Why the devil didn't you tell me that when I was at your bedside?"

The Doctor smiled.

"Because you wasn't ready," he said kindly, "I couldn't have put you through that before you understood the nature of your own design."

"But I wanted to help you!"

"Of course you do, you're the most compassionate man in the universe. But you won't be able to accept the changes caused by your regeneration unless you talk about what happened. Do you want to tell me about it?"

Rebel hesitated.

The Doctor looked into his eyes and spoke gently as he asked him again.

"_Are you ready for that?"_ he said softly, _"Can you tell me about the day a planet burned? Tell me about the fire..."_


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Rebel said nothing as he drew in a slow breath and ran his fingers through his hair, and then he paused to open the top button on his shirt as he suddenly felt the need for more air, because the memories were threatening to smother him as sure as he could recall choking on scorching air that seared his lungs as a planet burned...

"I'm not sure I can talk about it."

The Doctor leaned back against his pillow and got comfortable.

"I need a lot of rest. I've got a lot of time to listen."

Rebel met his gaze and pain reflected in his eyes as he looked at the other version of himself, and guessed that the only person it made sense to talk to be would be another of himself, because he could not bear to speak of it to anyone else...

"I recall very little about my former lifetime. Most of it is hazy. But I do recall the final hours, like it's stuck in my mind. I fell in love. I married her. We found a quiet planet where we settled down. I was happy, I could have stayed there forever and left the troubles of the universe alone, at least for as long as she lived..."

"Your wife died in the fire?"

He felt a sudden sharp stab of grief and blinked away tears.

"_And my two children."_

The Doctor reached over and placed his hand over Rebel's.

"Why did the planet burn?" he asked gently.

Rebel wiped his eyes and then grief was replaced by anger.

"The bastards who ran the corporation that owned the shield system, they were to blame. The planet was close to twin suns, the shield was the life support system. And it failed. Errors were made and it failed! The heat began to rise and those who could get there quickly enough made it to evacuation ships. But not Bella, not my wife, or our children. She was waiting for me. I'd taken off for a few days because I couldn't resist the urge to travel the stars. I came back to find the house smouldering. The world was scorched, all I could hear were the cries of the dying!"

He drew in a breath and briefly closed his eyes as he tried to hold back his tears.

"_I can still see it."_

He opened his eyes again, looking at the Doctor with pain reflecting in his gaze, "I knew if I left the Tardis I would burn too but I _had_ to look for them! Every step from my ship to the ruins was complete agony. My clothing began to smoulder, my skin started to blister. I tried to breathe in but my lungs were scorched..."

He paused, keeping a tight grip on the Doctor's hand as he recalled his death:

"_I was on fire. I caught on fire as I stepped towards the Tardis. And then a man in a silver heatproof suit pushed me through the door as and rolled me over, trying to put out the flames with his gloved hands. I couldn't see his face, I heard him call me, Doctor, he said, keep still, you're on fire... he was trying to put out the flames. All I could smell was my own flesh burning."_

He dragged in another breath and tears ran down his face.

"I didn't want to die," he said in a voice broken by emotion, "I wanted to hold on and carry on and be sure that my family was either gone or escaped, I had to hold on but then it started...the fires of regeneration bursting out of me, trying to extinguish the flames of death. I fought it. I was caught between life and death and I clung on in the middle until the regeneration won..."

"And what happened after that?" the Doctor said quietly.

"I don't know how long I was on the floor of the console room. I woke up and he was standing over me, he carried me into my room and put me on my bed and brushed the remains of scorched clothing from my body and then covered me with a sheet. He had his visor up, it was Laurence Riley, I knew him well. I'd told him I was a Timelord, but I don't think he understood what regeneration meant until he witnessed it. He was staring at me like I was a complete stranger. Then he said my name and I looked at him, I was too weak to move but I whispered to him to find my family. And then he left. I sent him out there and I don't think he survived, I think he burned up like the rest of the poor bastards who were left behind..."

Rebel bowed his head and wept softly.

"He was like a brother to me. He was a third generation earth colonist, he was also a man with a string of convictions to his name but as I recall in my former lifetime, I was far from perfect too. He was always finding ways to make money from theft and passing on stolen goods, and I often turned a blind eye to it. Sometimes I helped him out, too. _But what else could I do, he was my wife's brother._"

The Doctor gave a sigh and looked at Rebel sadly.

"I suppose one way of looking at it is this – your wife and children died when that planet burned, and so did your former life. But you are a Timelord, you had the gift of another life – you're a different man now! You must carry on even though they're gone. Every regeneration brings a new start. You know that, think all the way back through your lives, there's always another chance!"

Rebel let go of the Doctor's hand.

"Yes, that's one way of looking at it," he said quietly. His face was wet with tears as anger burned in his eyes again.

"The company who owned the shield system were based on earth. They'd already decided the death of an entire planet would be blamed on an industrial accident. That wasn't good enough for me! They held a meeting..."

And then he fell silent and looked down at the floor.

"You wanted to know what happened when the planet burned. I've told you everything."

Then he wiped his eyes quickly.

"Thanks for listening."

Then Ace came in with the tea, and she noticed Rebel looked tearful.

"is everything okay?" she asked.

The Doctor nodded.

"It will be," he said gently as he looked to Rebel, "Everything will be just fine."

* * *

_The days passed too quickly._

After Rebel's visit he had promised to stay around on earth for a while, but also promised not to bother them, and he had left the Doctor and Ace to finally spend some much needed time together. Ace had quickly slipped into a new routine of long lazy mornings in bed and afternoons spent in his arms as the Doctor began to recover from the effects of the anti toxin.

But those days had slipped by too fast, and after returning to something close to normality, the day soon arrived to visit Carla at her apartment across the other side of town, and as they stood on her doorstep and the Doctor rang the bell, Ace felt nervous.

"I'm going to hate this," she said quietly, "Waiting for you to get the blood results..."

The Doctor tried to play down her fears.

"All she has to do is check me over, take some blood and test it. She'll get the result in a couple of minutes. I feel fine, I'm not worried."

Then the door opened.

"Come in," she said with a smile, and then they both went inside, the Doctor avoiding Carla's gaze as he felt sure she was disappointed, because she had been hoping he would show up alone, but instead, to ensure he wasn't tempted to stray, he had brought Ace with him...

* * *

Carla led them through to what had once been a living room. It still had floral wall paper but she had converted it into a treatment area. Beyond this, the door to her lab was open.

Carla told the Doctor to take off his shirt and sit on the bed.

Ace walked over to the window and looked out through heavy nets at the obscured view of the street outside, and she then heard Carla ask him how he was feeling. Then she wondered if perhaps Carla ought to ask her that question too – none of this had been easy to cope with, watching the man she loved suffer so greatly and knowing she was powerless to help.

But Ace said nothing, instead she walked over to his bedside and watched as Carla used a stethoscope to listen to his hearts and then his breathing, and then she checked his healed wounds and removed some stitches from the back of his neck.

Then she prepared to take a blood sample, and as the needle bit into his arm she saw a moment of pain register on his face, and then Ace looked away, wishing his suffering could end so they could return to a normal life once more.

Carla withdrew the needle and dressed the puncture wound.

"You could learn how to do this for him, I could teach you," she said, but Ace shook her head.

"I don't think I should be doing that – you're trained, I'm not."

"It's easy," Carla said to her.

"For you," Ace replied.

The Doctor chuckled.

"Ace, if you can beat up a Dalek with a bat, I'm sure you can handle sticking a tiny needle in my arm once a week!"

"I don't want to stick needles in you," she replied quietly, and then she waited at his bedside while Carla took the sample into the lab.

While they waited, the Doctor got dressed.

Then Carla entered the room once more, and Ace felt a huge wave of relief pass through her as she saw she was smiling.

"It's good news," she said, "There's no change in the toxin levels."

The Doctor jumped up from his seat and grabbed his umbrella.

"That's great news. I'll see you next week, Carla."

And then he turned and smiled at Ace as he grabbed her by the hand.

"Let's go home," he said warmly, "I'm doing well. That's something to celebrate!"

* * *

They walked hand in hand along the street as they headed back to the Tardis.

"I wish you'd learn to take my blood," the Doctor said, "It would save me having to visit Carla once a week, the analysis machine is easy to use."

And as he spoke he felt slightly guilty, wishing his own resolve to stay true to Ace was strong enough to enable him to visit her without his wife at his side to be sure he wouldn't be tempted to stray.

"I'd rather not," Ace told him, "I might do it wrong – and I'd definitely hurt you."

"I've been through worse."

"But I couldn't cause you pain. I'm sorry, Professor – I can't do it."

"That's fine, I understand." The Doctor let go of her hand and slipped his arm around her waist, pulling her closer as they turned the corner and the Tardis came into clear view, "Let's go home and cuddle up," he said, and she started to smile.

They reached the Tardis and the Doctor unlocked the door and they went inside.

And then as he saw a light blinking on the console, his expression changed to one of annoyance.

"What a time to get an incoming message!" he complained, "I can't ignore it because it's coming from another Tardis..."

And he answered the call and the screen cleared and he saw the Ninth Doctor standing in his own ship.

"What can I do for you?" he asked warmly.

The Ninth Doctor smiled.

"You're looking well," he remarked, "That's good. I've been thinking about something, and I've figured out a way to help you."

"With what?"

His future self lowered his voice.

"Is Ace around, because I'd rather we had this chat alone."

The Doctor smiled. He knew Ace was standing on the other side of the console, out of sight of the camera, and had no intention of asking her to leave the room.

"Feel free to talk," he said, "I'm by myself. What's this about?"

"I was wondering if you fancied taking off for a few hours. We could meet somewhere nice and quiet. What about Sabra?"

"No thanks. After what I went through, I really don't want to go back there."

He paused for thought.

"Okay, I'll pitch you my idea now. I just want you to think about it, because I've figured out a way to help you and Ace."

The Doctor frowned slightly as he looked into the screen.

"Help us with what?"

The Ninth Doctor's eyes lit up.

"I've come up with a fantastic idea! There's a way you and Ace can get around the damage the anti toxin's done to your body. _You can still have a family together_."

The Doctor looked at him doubtfully.

"I'd love to hear this idea of yours!"

The Ninth Doctor spoke up again.

"We're all the same man. _Identical DNA_. So why don't you show Ace some pictures of all your other selves, past and present, and ask her if one of them could do the job for you?"

The Doctor stared at him.

"Oh no, it's very thoughtful of you but we haven't got that far yet. We're taking each day as it comes. But I'm sure one of us would be willing to help out and be a donor if we decided to go that way -"

"_No, I meant, see which one she fancies and get him over to your Tardis. It could be fun. I'd volunteer, but I'd rather wait and see what Ace thinks first."_

The Doctor's eyes briefly narrowed, and then he saw the funny side and started to smile, around the same time Ace put her hand over her mouth to stifle a giggle.

"I don't really think that's our cup of tea, no thanks, but thank you for suggesting it."

"Okay – but you know where I am if you change your mind."

The Doctor smiled politely.

"Bye," he said, and closed the channel.

* * *

As the Ninth Doctor ended the call, he gave a sigh and turned from the console.

"I was sure he was going to say yes!"

Rose Tyler walked over and joined him and folded her arms as she smiled knowingly.

"You can't remember how it turns out, so you're making assumptions."

"It made sense to me."

She laughed.

"_Sense?_ It's more like wishful thinking!"

"We've got the same DNA, why not? I was only trying to help!"

As Rose looked at him amusement danced in her eyes.

"It just goes to show, underneath the Timelord exterior, you're just a bloke with a bloke's fantasies!"

His eyes widened in surprise.

"I was making a genuine offer to help!"

Rose giggled as she shook her head.

"Stop it Doctor...just get back to...flying the Tardis, or something!"

"But I'm only trying to explain -"

"_Yeah, yeah...fly that Tardis..."_

Then Rose turned away and looked out towards dark space scattered with stars, and as she watched them sparkle, amusement still danced in her eyes.

* * *

Back in Perivale the Doctor and Ace stood in their own Tardis, exchanged a glance and laughed.

"I can't believe he said that!" she exclaimed, and the Doctor shook his head as he smiled.

"I believe his hearts were in the right place – he meant well. He just didn't stop to think before making the suggestion!"

Ace giggled.

"As if I'd sleep with anyone else – even another version of you!"

And the Doctor laughed again.

_And neither of them heard a key turning in the door of the Tardis..._

"What a gross idea!" Ace exclaimed, "I'm surprised he didn't suggest a threesome!"

The Doctor laughed even harder.

"I was half expecting him to suggest getting all the doctors and companions together and put all the Tardis keys in a punchbowl, and then let everyone choose a key to see who they get for the night!"

And they both laughed again. The Doctor put his arms around her as his eyes shone with amusement.

"I haven't laughed this hard for so long...it feels so good!"

"_Excuse me..."_

Ace and the Doctor ended their embrace and turned to see Rebel had joined them.

"Don't you know how to knock?" the Doctor asked him.

Rebel smiled nervously.

"I was just passing by so I thought I'd say hello...I couldn't help overhearing your conversation, about your desire to try a threesome. I want you to know I find the idea of your fantasy perfectly acceptable!"

And then he smiled again, and continued:

"I'm willing to give it a go – but only with Ace, we could _share_ her, if you get what I mean!"

Ace's jaw dropped as she stared at him.

The Doctor raised an eyebrow but said nothing as Rebel continued:

"You'd _love_ that, Ace – me on the floor, you in the middle and the Doctor on top – you could have a Doctor sandwich! But I don't like being in charge in the bedroom, I'd get much more excitement out of it if you bossed me about and told me what to do. So, what do you think?"

Ace looked at the Doctor.

"I'm thinking about masking tape for his mouth!" she exclaimed.

Rebel's eyes lit up excitedly.

"You want to _gag_ me? _Now_ you're on my wavelength!"

"Rebel," the Doctor said as he held back the urge to laugh out loud,"You misunderstood. We don't want a threesome. _Ever._"

"We were just having a laugh," Ace added, "And saying what a gross, disgusting idea it was."

Rebel's face turned scarlet.

Oh...I see! My mistake, then. Sorry, forget I said all that...I must get going now, I forgot, I have something to do back at my Tardis...See you later."

As he hurried for the door and left the console room, the Doctor and Ace laughed again, and for the second time the Doctor thought how great it felt to be strong and well enough to be able to laugh this hard again, because it felt so good.

* * *

_The weeks passed._

The Doctor's health continued to improve.

Then Ace told him she would wait in the Tardis while he went to get his blood checked by Carla. He knew this day would have come eventually, but it didn't make facing her alone any easier...

He felt tense as he knocked on the door, and when Carla Bailey answered it she welcomed him inside and led him down to the treatment room. He tried not to think about her and all the things he wished they could do together, because he loved Ace, but replacing thoughts of lust with thoughts of Ace was difficult as he thought more on the fact that he was at alone at last with Carla once more...

The Doctor took off his hat and jacket and left them on the bed and then sat down on a chair and rolled up his sleeve.

"You're looking well Doctor," Carla said warmly, and she ran her fingers through dark hair that was starting to curl once more.

"Your hair has grown back fast," she added, "You look great."

"Thanks," he said quietly, trying not to think about the way her touch had sent a shiver through his body that he didn't want to forget.

And suddenly he was too aware of their closeness. He turned his head as she leaned over him and their eyes met.

"I've missed you," Carla said softly, "I never thought I'd get a chance to be alone with you again."

The Doctor got up from the chair and faced her.

"I really have," she told him, "I thought I'd never get a chance like this."

"And I love Ace."

"I know, you told me that before."

She was looking at him pleadingly.

"_I've missed you so much!"_

She placed her hand on his cheek and then caught her breath as the Doctor pushed it roughly away.

"_Don't!"_ he snapped, and then he leaned closer and grabbed her face, forcing her to look at him. In that moment she caught sight of something powerful and ancient in his eyes that reminded her this man was _definitely_ alien...

"This can't happen," he said darkly, and then he let go of her face and grabbed her roughly by the shoulders, dragging her closer as he covered her mouth with a rough kiss. There was nothing tender about the way he pushed her legs apart and tugged up her skirt, even as he thrust against her his movements were bruising.

Then as he rested against her shoulder for a brief moment to get his breath back he turned his face away, avoiding her kiss.

"This can't happen again," he said as he let her go and began to tidy up his clothing, "This _didn't _happen, okay?"

She was pulling her skirt back down with shaking hands.

"_Okay?"_ he said sharply, and she nodded, then ran her fingers through her hair to flip it off her face.

"I'm not your lover," the Doctor told her, "And this _never_ gets back to Ace, do you understand me?"

She nodded again and took a deep breath.

"I'd better get your blood test done," she said quietly, and then the Doctor sat back with his sleeve rolled up as she prepared to take a sample.

* * *

While he waited for the test results, the Doctor got dressed, feeling keen to leave and vowing next time he would bring Ace with him, even though she hated watching him take a needle in his arm.

He didn't have to wait long for Carla to return.

When she came back into the room she was tearful and he guessed she knew what to expect – he had done some thinking and decided he had to spell it out clearly to her – this really could _never_ happen again, because he loved his wife and wasn't planning on losing her...

As she stood beside him she spoke quietly.

"Doctor, I -"

Don't," he said, "There's nothing to talk about. You and me -"

"No, it's _not_ about us..."

She broke off with a sharp breath and he looked up to see she had tears in her eyes.

"I'm so sorry but it's not good news."

And she held out a small monitor that displayed the results of his blood test. The Doctor read the result and for a moment felt as if the floor had given way beneath him.

"_I'm sorry,"_ she said, _"The toxin levels have risen. You're now at forty-six percent. You're no longer in recovery."_

The Doctor gave a sob and reached for Carla, and she held him as he wept and wondered how he could ever bring himself to break the news to Ace, who would be heart broken...

His tears were brief, and then he let go of her and got up and wiped his eyes before snatching up his question mark umbrella.

"I'm still working on an antidote," she reminded him, "Please don't give up hope."

"Bye, Carla," was all he said, and then he left the apartment and began to walk back to the Tardis, thinking of nothing but how to break the news to Ace that their almost normal life was gone once more, and this time it would never be coming back...

* * *

When the Doctor returned to the Tardis, his hearts felt heavy.

But now the worst had happened, it had put all else into sharp perspective – he had decided he would speak to Carla again, late at night when Ace was sleeping. He would call her and tell her calmly but firmly that their relationship was over, because he had limited time now, and he wanted to spend every moment he had left with the woman he loved – and that woman was his wife...

The Doctor was lost in those thoughts as he entered the console room and still could not find the words to break the news to Ace.

Then she walked in from the corridor, and suddenly no words were needed.

Her smile faded as she caught the look in his eyes, and then her own eyes glazed with tears.

"Professor? What's wrong?"

He shook his head as he held back from weeping again.

"What's happened? Is it...no, it's not, it's _not_ the blood results?"

He looked at her sadly and nodded.

"_Oh no, Professor!"_ she said tearfully, and then she was holding him and he was clinging on to her tightly as they wept together.

As he sobbed in her arms he remembered the other Doctors still lived, so perhaps he would survive, although at this moment, it seemed unlikely because in the absence of a cure it seemed as if there was no hope left.

He wanted to believe he would survive, he needed to believe it, but at that moment after receiving such terrible news, he didn't want to think any more about anything, instead, he just wanted to cling to Ace, because in her arms, at least there he felt safe and warm and home at last no matter how the future turned out, because for the precious moments he clung to her, he knew he was safe.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Rebel was feeling mildly wrecked after sleeping off a T bomb.

The drug had left him with a feeling of peace, life was hazy around the edges and most importantly, he could neither hear nor feel the cries of pain that usually filled his every waking moment.

The universe seemed still, and he wished it would stay that way.

And then he heard laughter float down the Tardis corridor and he sat up, giving a sigh.

"It's not real," he whispered, "You're tripping, Rebel..."

And then he looked at his watch and blinked to clear misty vision.

"What was I supposed to do today?" he wondered aloud, but the only answer that floated back at him was another laugh from the console room.

"_Oi!"_ the voice yelled, _"Doctor, are you here? I've boarded your ship. Kindly hand over the contents of your cargo hold, stand and deliver, 'tis I, __Laurence Riley, back from my travels across the twelve galaxies! Get off your lazy arse and come and see me, I'm waiting!"_

His voice sounded real.

As he walked down the corridor towards the console room, Rebel smiled as he shook his head.

"Oh how I wish you were here, dear brother," he said sadly, "But a dream is better than nothing..."

And then he walked into the console room, welcoming the sight of the ghost of Laurence Riley, who stood before him in a blue velvet suit edged with fancy gold embroidery. His boots were heavy and a laser pistol was holstered at his hip. He wore large jewelled rings on both hands and his fair hair was slicked back and fell to his collar.

"_I got rid of the ship,"_ he told him, _"Don't need to fly any more – I stole that time machine you told me to leave alone."_

The Doctor stepped closer, staring at him with eyes that burned blue as his pupils shrank to pinpricks.

"You look so real!"

"I _am_ real!" Riley insisted, "I took the prototype. The lab was empty because the evacuation had just started. That's how I found you – when the planet started to burn, I grabbed a heat proof suit, got in the machine and ran a trace for the Tardis signal. That's how I found you now, I followed your trail through the vortex."

And then he smiled.

"I went to earth. I had a look around. Do you like my rings, they're from the eighteenth century. I got myself a horse and became a real highwayman! No pulling up behind cargo ships on quiet space shipping lanes, this was me on country lanes in old England...it was fun!"

As Rebel smiled his eyes blurred with tears.

"If only this was true," he said, "But I know you're dead. You saw me regenerate and then you went back out there to try and find Bella and the kids. You perished when the planet burned."

"I _perished when the planet burned?_" he exclaimed, mimicking his well spoken voice, "Since when did you turn posh? If I hadn't known you before, I never would have believed you're the same man. You're _nothing_ like he was..."

"I regenerated, you saw it happen. And I know you tried to save me, Riley. I wish you were here, alive..."

"I am!"

Rebel reached out to put his hand through Riley's ghost.

_And hit a solid shoulder._

His eyes widened and then filled with tears again.

"_You're really here?"_

Riley smiled.

"Told you so!" he said, and then the two men embraced as the Doctor wept out of sheer relief.

* * *

The Doctor was in bed, on his back beneath soft sheets.

His hair was still damp from the shower he had insisted on taking when he and Ace had finally broken off their embrace. He had blamed feeling too hot and now felt bad for making Ace worry that he might have the beginning of a fever, but he had to wash away the scent of Carla Bailey before he took Ace in his arms...

And now they lay together in bed, Ace on her side and the Doctor looking up at the ceiling as he reflected on all Carla had told him.

Then Ace spoke up.

"So when are you starting the treatment again?"

She sounded tearful. The Doctor gave a heavy sigh.

"I'm not. It's only a matter of time before the anti toxin kills me. It's not something I can keep on taking, Ace. I just want to enjoy the time I have left with you, instead of spending it in pain in a hospital bed."

Ace was blinking away tears.

"You can't give up, you need the treatment -"

"But it won't work forever. And I lost eight days when I could have been with you. I'm not losing any more time, it's far too precious. It bought me two more months with you and I was in good health and every moment was great – but perhaps I can't hope for more."

"But the time line suggests you _do_ get well again, your future selves still exist!"

"I know," the Doctor agreed, "That's the small spark of hope I'm still holding on to. There's no cure yet – but I have to find one, and soon."

Worry clouded her eyes.

"And what if you don't?"

He took in a deep breath.

"Carla can manage my pain. And I'll put some pre-programmed flight plans into the Tardis. I want to be buried on Gallifrey. Rebel can help, he's far more capable than you imagine."

"I don't want to think about losing you."

Ace had tears in her eyes and her voice was hushed.

The Doctor turned on his side and put his arm around her, pulling her closer.

"Listen to me, Ace – I might live much longer than I'm expected to without the anti toxin to weaken me, I don't know how long it will take for the Master's formula to kill me. We could still have time and that matters - and I _don't_ want to waste it feeling sorry for myself."

She managed a smile.

"Then I'd better stop crying."

He fondly touched the tip of her nose.

"Nothing would make me happier."

Then she frowned.

"But if the worst happened, I don't know if I could trust Rebel – he wanted to have a threesome with us!"

Amusement danced in the Doctor's eyes.

"And my Ninth self wanted to _shag_ you!"

Ace started to laugh, and so did the Doctor.

"How can I be laughing at a time like this?" Ace exclaimed.

The Doctor held her tighter.

"It's better to laugh than cry, Ace. The universe is full of tears, it needs more laughter."

Suddenly her expression changed.

"I don't know what I'd do without you, Professor," she said quietly.

"You'd carry on," he told her, "And have a happy life, because that's what I want for you."

Suddenly her strength was back.

"You can't give up now. Remember the time line – your future selves exist, so that means you _do_ make it through this! You have to keep hoping."

The Doctor gave a sigh.

"Very well, because I love you and I know you're probably right, I'll speak to Carla about the possibility of having a second course of treatment – but not yet. I'm not going through that terrible pain until I know for sure I have to do it. The toxin levels could take a few more months to rise to anywhere near a dangerous level. I'm going to wait."

"I love you Professor!" she said as she hugged him, and now the tears he saw in her eyes were of hope and joy mixed together.

"I'll do it for you," he promised her, and then he held her close and shut his eyes and wished for peaceful sleep to take him away for a short time, just so he could forget his worries.

* * *

Rebel was still feeling mildly at peace as the effect of the T bomb lingered, but much of the haze he had been caught up in was swept away by the sight of Laurence Riley, very much alive and well and standing in his console room.

"I told you," Riley repeated, "I took a heat proof suit from the lab. Then I stole the time machine. I left the planet, I went forward to after the disaster. And I checked the lists of names, but Bella and the kids were not on it."

Rebel's face was pale as he stared at Riley, although he was glad to see him, finding out a ghost wasn't a ghost after all was still something that had left him feeling shocked.

"Are you certain you checked the list of survivors properly?"

"She was my sister, what do you think?"

"Sorry, of course you did, I'm not thinking straight – I can't believe you're still alive!"

Riley smiled.

"Well I am, and I had find you, it gets lonely out there."

Then Rebel frowned as he recalled an old quarrel.

"I _told_ you to leave that time machine alone, it's a prototype, unstable and liable to lose core stability. In other words, the more you use it, the more likely it is the thing will explode."

Riley laughed.

"Explode? I've been using that machine to take me through the centuries, I always wanted to see old earth! I've had no problem with it."

_And then a boom filled the air and the force of the blast rocked the Tardis._

Riley's eyes widened.

"No!" he said in panic, and ran outside.

Rebel calmly walked to the open door and looked out, then waved his hand about to fan away clearing smoke. He had landed the Tardis in woodland and Riley's time machine had been just a short distance away, now all that remained were shards of metal and smoking, scattered machine parts. Trees were scorched and flames from the centre of the explosion were starting to die out. An old brick wall near the ruins of an old house had been blown down.

Riley turned from the devastation and looked to Rebel.

"It's gone! It blew up!"

"And I won't say I told you so..."

"_You'd better not!"_

Rebel stepped over a chunk of scorched metal and picked up an old brick from the broken wall.

"Just what I was looking for!" he said brightly, "Come on, back to the Tardis...at least one of us has a time machine that can be trusted not to spontaneously combust!"

And Riley cast a glance back at the ruins of what had once been his time machine, shook his head sadly and followed Rebel inside.

* * *

As evening shadows fell over Perivale, the Doctor got out of bed.

They had talked for hours, then made love, and Ace had cried some more, but now she was sleeping soundly...

The Doctor put on his dressing gown and then took his phone from the pocket of his jacket, and quietly left the room.

He walked down the corridor, not wanting to risk his voice carrying as an echo as he spoke, and then he went into the console room to make a call to Carla Bailey.

He leaned against the console and scrolled down a list of numbers programmed into the phone, and then hit the call button.

It rang and rang and there was no answer, and the phone switched to voice mail.

The Doctor gave a sigh. He hoped she wasn't deliberately avoiding him...

Then the tone sounded, and he left his message:

"Carla it's me, it's the Doctor. I've decided I will have more treatment with the anti toxin. I'm doing it for Ace. But I'm not ready to start yet, I still feel okay. I want to make the most of these days before I get sick again...And I'm sorry, about today. I hope I didn't hurt you. It's all my fault, when I was on Sabra, before I started the second dose...I was scared, I needed to put my arms around someone. I seduced you. I should have known better. And I've no excuse for what happened today. I was weak. But it won't happen again, it's over. I'll always care about you, of course I will – but I love my wife. We can never be lovers, what happened was a mistake. I hope you understand. I'll be in touch soon, to talk about the treatment – and I'm bringing Ace with me."

Then he ended the call and gave a heavy sigh. He didn't feel proud of dumping her over the phone...

"I'll have to go and see her," he said quietly, and then went back down the corridor, hoping he could get dressed and out of the Tardis without waking Ace. He planned to bring back a Chinese takeaway, both to cover his absence and to treat Ace to a surprise, and then...he planned to forget his affair with Carla Bailey ever happened in the first place...

* * *

Rebel and Riley had talked long into the evening, relaxing together over a bottle of champagne in a very comfortable living room area.

"So you don't call yourself Doctor any more?"

"No, I'm Rebel," he replied, "Nothing like any of my other selves, I choose to rebel against it and do my own thing this time around. So no fighting monsters, no danger...just a nice, easy life...at least, that was what I'd planned to do. _It's not working out that way..."_

He fell silent as he started to remember something.

Riley poured another glass of vintage champagne and set it down on the glass table before leaning back on a leather armchair and looking at him thoughtfully.

"What's on your mind Doc – I mean Rebel?"

"I've got something to do..."

"What?"

Rebel was still thinking.

Then he sat up sharply, bumping the table and spilling Riley's glass.

"Carla!" he exclaimed, and dashed out of the room.

"Who?" Riley wondered, and then he paused to pour another drink before leaving the room.

"Where are you?" he called out as he stood in the corridor.

"Console room!" Rebel called back.

As Riley stepped into the control centre, the console blinked and lights flashed and there was a sound like rushing wind.

"You didn't just fly us off into outer space, did you?"

Rebel shut down a lever.

"No, I just materialised in Carla Bailey's apartment."

Riley stood there with the glass in his hand, and then he smirked.

"You said you had something to do...you mean, a bird? Ha ha, that's class, Rebel. Just turn up in your Tardis, right in her bedroom -"

"_Her life is in danger!"_

"Now you're sounding like the Doctor," Riley said, and took a sip from the glass.

"The Master kills her tonight, he breaks into the apartment and leaves her body for my Seventh incarnation to discover."

"Why?"

"Two reasons – one, she's working on a cure for the toxin he poisoned him with. And two, he's having an affair with her."

Riley frowned.

"Carla's having an affair with the Master?"

Impatience flashed in Rebel's eyes.

"Keep up, Riley! Carla Bailey was the Doctor's lover."

"Oh, I get it now."

"Stay here, this won't take a minute."

Then Rebel pushed open the Tardis door and stepped out into Carla's front room.

* * *

Carla had been sleeping when the sound of rushing wind stirred her from slumber. She got up and walked to the door, pausing to put on her shoes and smooth down creases in her clothing. Working on the formula had been exhausting, and she was still upset over the way the Doctor had left – and over the news that his toxin levels were rising once more.

"Doctor?" she called out, and stepped into the dimly lit hallway.

As she collided with him, she gave a gasp, then she looked up to see Rebel standing in front of her.

"You have to come with me!" he said urgently, "Your life is in danger!"

"Are you high again?"

"No, I'm trying to get you out of here while you still have time!"

She looked into his eyes. They burned with intensity, and he carried a faint trace of the smell of burnt volcanic rock about his clothing, but his pupils were wide, adjusting normally to the dim light.

"What's this about?"

He grabbed her by the wrist and led her into the former living room, and towards the open door of her lab.

"Rebel, what's going on?"

He stood by the doorway and explained quickly:

"In another time line the Master came here, he found you and killed you and left your body for the Doctor to find. I'm changing that. Grab your toxin samples and anything else you can carry that you need to work on the antidote and come with me back to my Tardis. You have five minutes only. Go!"

She didn't need telling twice. She went into the lab and grabbed a box and gathered up everything she needed and then left the lab, carrying the small box carefully.

"The Master's on his way?"

"According to history, yes. Hurry up!"

They reached the Tardis and he opened the door and she went in first, and then he followed, closing the door firmly.

Moments later the sound of rushing wind filled the air, and the Tardis disappeared, making a change in the time line as Rebel flew Carla Bailey far from earth and off into deep space, defying history.

* * *

After the Tardis faded from sight, the apartment fell into silence, shadows fell across the empty treatment room and the door that led to the lab. The only light in the room came from a lamp in the corner.

Then suddenly the sound of a Tardis landing filled the air, and the Master's ship materialised.

He stepped out and looked around, listening in the gloom but hearing no sound.

Then he walked out into the hallway and paused to listen again. Still hearing no sound, he made his way quietly to the first door and opened it. He found a bathroom in darkness, but smiled as the dim light that filtered in from the hallway fell upon a silk stocking hanging over the edge of a laundry basket. He pulled it free and paused to wind each end around his hands, and then he pulled it tight.

_The woman would not struggle for long..._

He made his way slowly to the bedroom, taking his time as he crept up to the door. It was ajar and he saw nothing within but darkness.

The Master gave the door a gentle push and it swung open.

Then he frowned. It seemed Carla Bailey was gone...

"Gone?" he said under his breath, and then he switched on the light and saw an empty room and a neatly made bed, but no sign of Carla...

He dropped the stocking and walked back down the hallway, gave the door a shove and went back into the former living room that she had been using as a treatment area.

It was clear the only survivor of the Cassandra-Aurora had been treating the Doctor's condition, helping him to fight the toxin...

His rage was building. He turned on the light and stood in the doorway to the lab, noticing much equipment was missing.

He turned back to his Tardis, and then he heard a ringing sound.

A phone was lighting up on her desk.

The Master picked it up and answered the call.

"You have one new message," the automated service said.

The Master accessed Carla's in box.

There was a beep, and then he heard the voice of his oldest enemy:

"_Carla it's me, it's the Doctor. I've decided I will have more treatment with the anti toxin. I'm doing it for Ace. But I'm not ready to start yet, I still feel okay. I want to make the most of these days before I get sick again...And I'm sorry, about today. I hope I didn't hurt you. It's all my fault, when I was on Sabra, before I started the second dose...I was scared, I needed to put my arms around someone. I seduced you. I should have known better..." _

The Master stopped the message and slipped the phone into his pocket as he laughed darkly.

"Oh dear," he said as his eyes glittered with malice, "Not only are you dying, now you're about the to lose the woman you love too, Doctor..."

And then he went back into his Tardis, it faded in out of sight and then vanished, and once more the apartment stood in semi gloom and silence.

* * *

Rebel's Tardis was floating in deep space.

"I'm Riley," said his companion, who stood near the viewing screen sipping a glass of champagne and wearing a coat that wouldn't have been out of place on the back of a wealthy lord from eighteenth century earth.

"Hi..." Carla said, then looked back to Rebel, who was leaning over her box of lab supplies and sorting through it.

"What are you doing?"

"Looking for something," he replied, and carried on searching through the box.

Carla stepped forward, and her shoe hit something. She looked down and then back at Rebel in confusion.

"Why have you got a house brick on the floor next to the console?"

He was still searching through the box.

"I've got a broken lever on the console. I have to hold it down when the ship's at maximum speed and it's really awkward to keep my foot on it all the time."

"Why don't you just repair the lever?" Carla exclaimed.

"He can't be arsed," said Riley.

Rebel stood up, bringing out the item he had been searching for.

"This is it!" he exclaimed.

Carla's eyes widened.

"Be careful with that vial! It contains a sample of the toxin that infected the Doctor, I need it for my research."

"Relax, Carla," he said, taking the vial over to the console, "Mister Riley, your assistance, please..."

As Riley joined him at the console, Carla stared in disbelief.

"What the hell do either of you know about the Master's toxin? That's dangerous stuff -"

"Relax," Rebel said as he handed the vial to Riley, "Tell her what you used to do for a living before you turned to interstellar highway robbery and more recently, stealing time machines."

Riley opened up a compartment and took the top off the vial and placed it inside, and the compartment slid shut again. Then he keyed a command into a numerical keypad and looked up at Carla as the machine began to work.

"I specialised in smart-tech hybrid virus prevention," he said, "And I'm also qualified in toxicology."

And as the machine continued to analyse, Carla shook her head.

"You don't understand – the Doctor tried to analyse the toxin the same way you're doing it, and the Tardis couldn't complete the analysis."

"His Tardis couldn't," said Rebel, "But mine is considerably upgraded and most importantly, I have Mr Riley to help."

And then the analysis completed and the screen displayed the result.

"I can't read it," Riley complained.

"Sorry," Rebel said, converting the text from Gallifrey to English, "Better now?"

"Much, thank you," he replied, and then he studied the text and looked back at Carla.

"It's programmed to behave the way it does," he said, "Microscopic smart tech inside the toxin, that's why it repeatedly regroups and multiplies. You can burn it down to a fraction with the right chemicals but eventually, you'll kill the patient. That's not the way to destroy it."

Carla looked at him intently.

"Are you saying you can create an antidote?"

"I could with time and the right components, but the quickest way to get rid of it is via a short, very sharp electric shock," he said, "That would wipe out the programmed agent and the rest of the toxin would sweat out of him like a bad dose of flu."

"I tried to treat it with implants."

"But I'm wiling to bet they gave off tiny electric pulses, right?"

She nodded.

"It wasn't enough," Riley told her, "But you've done well to keep him going. Now we need to find a way to give him a sharp shock that won't kill him."

And Carla and Rebel looked at each other, recalling the scam Lexi and Venx were running at the research centre on Sabra.

"_Lexi's eel!"_ they said in unison.

And Riley smiled.

"Am I witnessing the start of a wonderful friendship?"

Rebel changed the subject.

"We need to get in touch with the Doctor, he needs to get off earth now, and not just because we've found a cure – the Master was coming for you, Carla – he'll be looking for them next. No doubt it was easy to track him down, his Tardis and mine both in Perivale -"

"Rebel I don't think he will want to risk a shock," she said, "He's already found out the toxin levels have started to rise again. He told me he just wants to make the most of the time he has left with Ace. He's not going to take a chance like this when it's untested. And he doesn't want to go back to Sabra."

"Let's give him a call, I'll explain," Riley said.

"He won't listen, he doesn't know you – oh damn!" Carla searched her pockets again.

"I left my phone back at the apartment."

"Can't we go back and get it?" Riley asked.

Rebel's bright blue eyes widened at the suggestion.

"Oh sure, let's take the Tardis all the way back to Earth to pick up the lady's phone!"

And Riley's eyes widened as he looked back at Rebel.

"Forget my suggestion, obviously you've decided to save the day with the might of your sarcasm!"

Then Rebel started to smile as an idea came to mind.

"I've got it!" he said, "He doesn't _know_ you, Riley... I know what we need to do, I need your help – I've got a plan..."


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Riley checked his weapon and looked into the eyes of his best friend.

"Are you sure about this, Rebel?"

"Is the safety on?"

Riley double checked his laser pistol.

"Yeah."

"Then I'm ready. And do it like you mean it!"

"There's no chance that safety catch could slip, is there?"

Carla sounded worried.

"No, Carla," Riley said as he waved the gun in the air as gestured while he spoke and she flinched at the sight of the weapon, "It won't go off. I won't blow a hole in his head, okay?"

She stood back watching nervously.

"Just be careful, that's a powerful weapon."

"Doesn't your bird ever stop nagging?" Riley complained.

Rebel looked at him sharply.

"Don't you ever listen? I've already told you this! She's not my bird, she's the Seventh Doctor's mistress, lover, bit on the side..."

"I was involved with him," she said quietly, "And Ace must never know."

"Who's Ace, his missus?" asked Riley.

She nodded and then looked away.

Rebel placed his hand on the console.

"I'm about to open up the channel. Get ready..."

* * *

The Doctor was still in his Tardis. He was ready to leave and go over to Carla's apartment, but decided to try and call her one last time. But the phone went straight to voice mail so he ended the call.

And then a light flashed on the console.

He gave a weary sigh. Now was _not _a good time to receive a distress call...

He opened up the channel and his eyes widened in surprise.

Rebel was looking into the camera through a cracked lens, and a man in a fancy jacket had his arm about his neck and a pistol to his head.

"_You have to help me!"_ he said in panic, _"I've been hijacked by a lunatic!"_

"Let me speak to him," the Doctor said.

And then he heard a male voice.

"I've taken control of this ship," he said, "And I'm flying it to a deserted planet where I will kill this idiot," And he jabbed the pistol against Rebel's temple, "Unless you join us and surrender your time machine also."

"Isn't one Tardis enough?" the Doctor demanded, "Why do you need two?"

"I have allies!" the man replied, "So meet me on the planet of Sabra, we have already taken over the research facility."

"Why?" the Doctor said in confusion.

"We just have, because we like to...to...erm... _take_ things!"

Then he heard a scuffle.

"_Ouch!"_ the man said, and then his voice grew dark:

"I mean, we are a band of interstellar thieving bastards and if you don't do _exactly_ as I say I'll blow a hole in your mate Rebel, have you got that?"

"I hear you," the Doctor replied, "And there's no need for guns. We can work this out another way. Rebel, don't fight them... I'm on my way."

"Please hurry, Doctor!" Rebel said, "He means it, he's going to kill me!"

"I'm on my way," he said again, and turned off the channel.

Then he turned from the console and saw Ace standing in the doorway that led to the corridor. Her hair was messed up from sleep and she had thrown on a T shirt.

"What's going on?" she asked.

"Rebel's in trouble. Get dressed, we have to go."

"Where to?"

"Sabra," he replied, "Rebel's Tardis has been hijacked."

* * *

As Rebel turned off the screen, he turned back to Riley, who had holstered his weapon.

"We like to _take_ things?" he exclaimed, "What sort of a bad guy are you? That was a bit basic!"

"You didn't have to stand on my foot!"

"You should have given a better performance!"

Rebel turned back to the console and put in the co ordinates, and the Tardis gathered speed, slowed again and he picked up the house brick and placed it on top of the lever to hold it down, and once more the ship sped up.

"We're going to Sabra, I have to explain to Lexi and Venx...Riley, I need one more favour."

Riley gave a sigh.

"Are you sure you need me after my less than convincing portrayal of a hijacker?"

"Of course I do!"

"What about me?" Carla asked.

"I'll need you when we pull him out of the water, have a defibrillator ready just in case he needs a second shock."

She nodded and then turned to the viewing screen, watching as space and time rushed by. Finally Carla held hope in her heart that the toxin could be destroyed, but at the same time she wondered what would happen when the Doctor recovered and no longer needed her around – she couldn't see him leaving Ace when all this was over...

* * *

The first Tardis to land on the planet of Sabre was sleek and black.

The Master stepped out and looked across the field, reasoning this had to be the place the Doctor would take his lover to keep her safe – many questions turned in his mind, like what the Doctor planned to tell Ace when he brought Carla to safety, but then he remembered the phone in his pocket and smiled:

_The Doctor would not be getting away with his affair with the woman who should have died when the Cassandra-Aurora exploded. He intended to confront him with a deal – another batch of antidote, in exchange for a vow to stay out of his business for eternity. And to be sure the Doctor would comply, he would tell him he had the power to over ride the effects of the antidote at the push of a button, making the Doctor his slave..._

The Timelord had no clue what awaited him when he confronted him again.

He chuckled as he waited, watching out for his oldest enemy as he pictured the look on his face when Ace heard his message to Carla Bailey...

* * *

Rebel's Tardis materialised on the ground behind the research facility.

He stepped out and grabbed hold of a rail, feeling slightly dizzy as he saw the drop that went straight down into a giant tank of murky water. Then the water rippled and the back of the giant eel broke surface before diving again.

"What was that?"

He turned to see Riley standing behind him.

"A giant electric eel from the earth colony planet named Eden-Earth. Go up to the top platform and wait for me."

He looked up the flight of metal steps and shook his head.

"I'm not going up there – it's got no safety rail! I could fall in the water with that thing!"

"It won't kill you."

Riley shuddered.

"It's a slimy bugger. You do it."

"I will be with you, you are supposed to be holding me captive!"

"What's going on?"

Lexi had come running out of the facility, and she stopped at the foot of the stairway and looked up at them.

"What are you up to now? Taking pot shots at my eel?"

And Rebel recalled how he had almost shot her Sontaran boyfriend.

"Of course not! I'm here to help the Doctor. It's a long story but that eel of yours can cure his toxin problem. But he won't want to risk it, so we have to trick him. He's on his way now, we need the eel to shock him to kill the smart tech in the toxin."

Lexi stared at him.

"I haven't got a clue what you're on about but if you want him to get shocked I'll have to shut the eel in the feeding zone. He needs to be up against the gate, over there."

And she pointed to a large metal grille that was raised above the water dividing a smaller part of the tank from the rest.

Rebel looked up to where his Tardis was placed, right above the point where the grille divided the tanks.

"That's perfect. Thank you, Lexi."

She gave a sigh.

"The minute Venx goes off in his ship, you crazy lot turn up...I'll go inside and set the controls to lure the eel into the feeding area, and then I'll close the gate. I just hope this works out out okay."

And then she went back inside the facility.

* * *

Carla stepped out of the Tardis and looked to the tank, and caught sight of something large moving just below the surface of dark water.

"I'll get the defibrillator," she said.

Rebel turned to Riley.

"We need to be up there," he told him, pointing to the highest platform, "And we need to lure the Doctor up there too – so you need to keep up the act."

Riley took out his weapon and checked the safety catch was on.

"I'm ready when you are," he said.

"And try and make a better job of being evil this time!" Rebel exclaimed, and then he climbed the metal staircase and Riley followed, gripping the rail tightly all the way and not daring to look down.

* * *

As the Doctor's Tardis materialised by the back entrance of the research centre, he paused to open up the viewing screen.

He saw Rebel on the highest platform, a man in an eighteenth century coat stood behind him, with a very modern laser pistol pressed to his temple.

"Help me!" Rebel cried, and the Doctor closed the screen and grabbed his umbrella.

"Leave that bat and the nitro nine behind!" he said firmly to Ace, "Rebel's a hostage – we can't risk explosives, and that hijacker doesn't look too stable to me – no weapons of any kind, I can handle this without the need for a gun."

Then the Doctor stepped out of the Tardis.

"Professor, be careful!" Ace exclaimed, but he was already making his way along a metal walkway towards a flight of steps.

"There's no need for guns!" he called out as he looked up at the man who held Rebel hostage, "Come down from there. Leave the gun on the floor and come down and we can work this out like civilized people."

The gunman shook his head. He grabbed Rebel a little harder, Rebel almost slipped over the edge and both men jumped back, the gun trembled in the hijacker's grip as he spoke again.

"No Doctor – you come up here and talk to me if you want your friend back! Come up here or I'll shoot him now!"

The Doctor stepped on to the metal stairway and looked around suspiciously.

"Where's the rest of your crew? I thought you said there was many of you?"

"On their way! _NOW GET UP HERE BEFORE I BLOW HIM AWAY!_"

The Doctor climbed the stairway to the top as Ace watched anxiously from the ground level. He was still weary, taking his time, and when he reached the upper platform he leaned on the rail to catch his breath before letting go.

"Professor!" Ace called up to him, "Don't get any closer to the edge -"

"I can handle this," he called back, and then he turned to the man who held Rebel hostage.

"Please do as he asks, Doctor!" Rebel begged as the gun was held to his head.

"I want you to jump," said the hijacker, and the Doctor stared at him.

"I'm dangerously ill and it would do me no good to jump in that water. If you want the Tardis let's negotiate, but let Rebel go free."

And the gunman gave a sigh and let go of Rebel.

"This ain't working, mate!" he exclaimed.

The Doctor stared at the two men."This is a set up? What's the meaning of this? I was resting on earth and you've dragged me back to Sabra – for what?"

Rebel looked to his companion and then back at the Doctor.

"Carla was right."

"_Carla?"_

"I'm Laurence Riley," said the man who wore the colourful eighteenth century coat, "Good friend of Rebel. And I need to know something."

The Doctor was still staring at him.

"What is this about?"

"If you could," said Riley, "Would you swap that toxin that's slowly killing you for something less harmful?"

"Of course I would, but I don't -"

"_Would you swap it for a black eye?"_

The question seemed absurd.

"I'm dying. I'd swap that for anything."

"Fair enough," said Riley, and punched him in the face, sending him toppling off the edge of the platform.

* * *

The Doctor hit the water with a splash as Ace yelled _Professor,_ and then she looked up to see Carla running up to the waters edge.

"_Grab the gate!"_ she yelled, _"Doctor, the gate!"_

The Doctor was stunned from the punch – it hadn't been the hardest he had ever been dealt, but now he was in murky water and as he turned to grab hold of a metal grille that divided the tank, he saw the huge eel looming out of the depths and heading straight at him. A blue flicker crackled across its body.

He grabbed the grille with both hands, slipping and grabbing it again as he tried to get out of the water.

"_Professor -"_

Ace had flung herself on the ground beside the tank, and now she was reaching for him.

"_NO!"_

Rebel was down the stairway down and he sank to his knees, grabbing Ace by her wrists to hold her back. The two of them rolled on the walkway as they struggled.

"You're killing him!" she yelled.

"No, _curing_ him!" he shouted back, _"Trust me!"_

Ace stopped fighting and looked up at Rebel, who had her on her back.

"_What?"_ she said.

The Doctor had grabbed the gate again as he tried to climb out.

And then the creature came speeding up to the gate, ramming it as an electric charge zapped through its body and hit the grille and the Doctor. His body jerked with the shock, and then he let go of the grille and fell back unconscious.

Ace rolled free of Rebel's grip and ran for the waters edge.

"Watch out for the eel" Rebel shouted, "Don't touch the grille!"

And Ace gave no reply, diving into the murky water and grabbing her Professor, keeping his head above the water as she dragged him over to the edge of the tank.

Rebel was there in an instant to help her pull him out. He offered her his hand as she climbed out, but she pushed it away.

"How can you call this a cure? He's ill, he's weak, he can't take a shock like this, the water alone could have killed him!"

Then as Rebel rolled the Doctor on his back Carla Bailey pushed up his jumper and pulled open his shirt, and then she used a stethoscope to check his twin hearts.

She turned back to the others and smiled.

"His hearts are fine, his breathing is fine, so far so good..."

And then she prepared to take a blood sample from his arm.

"Leave him alone -"

Ace was standing over him sounding tearful, and Rebel placed his hands on her shoulders and gently held her back.

"My good friend here Mr Riley is an expert in smart tech toxins... the Master created a smart poison to attack the Doctor's nervous system. Carla had it half right when she used the implants to hold the virus at bay. But what he needed was a sharp shock to wipe out the programmed agents in the toxin. The rest of it will sweat out of him like a dose of flu. He should be fully recovered in a couple of days."

Carla had placed the sample in a hand held machine and she waited for the read out to light up. As the result displayed, she smiled again.

"Toxin levels are zero," she confirmed, the rest of the toxin is just a carrier agent that will sweat out of his system within forty eight hours. We've done it, he's cured."

Ace turned to Rebel and put her arms around him and hugged him tightly.

"Thank you so much!" she said as tears of joy filled her eyes, and then she let go of him and hugged Riley.

"I really thought you'd hijacked the Tardis!"

And Riley smiled as he looked at Rebel.

"At last!" he said in triumph, "Someone who appreciates my acting skills!"

The doctor was on his back and stirring into consciousness. He opened his eyes to see Ace and Rebel and the hijacker – who had a friendly arm around Rebel's shoulder, and now Carla Bailey was beside him, too.

"What's going on?" he murmured.

"We're taking you inside to recover, Ace is going to fetch you some dry clothes and when you've had a rest, I'll explain everything."

"An explanation would be useful," the Doctor said weakly, and then he closed his eyes again.

* * *

When the Doctor woke up he was back in the room where he had received the anti toxin.

He drew in a sharp breath and sat up, then shivered, aware that he was mildly hot and breaking out in a sweat.

"It's okay Professor," Ace said.

He turned his head. She was sitting at his bed side, and Rebel was standing next to her.

"Sorry we tricked you." he told him, "But Carla said there was no chance of persuading you to take your chances with the eel, not when you were so unwell. The charge from the eel was enough to wipe out the toxin and destroy it. You're just sweating out the rest of the formula now – it's harmless and the effect should wear off in forty eight hours."

_The toxin was gone?_ The news had barely sunk in.

The Doctor turned his head to see Carla standing at the other side of the bed, and the man beside her was clearly no hijacker...

"How did you know how to destroy it?" As he spoke he was aware of a vague ache, recalled he had been punched and guessed he had the beginning of a black eye, but the bruising would be minor, Rebels companion had not hit him too hard...

"Easy," he said, "Rebel's Tardis is highly upgraded. It was simple for me to analyse that part of the toxin your Tardis called _unknown_. I used to work in smart tech virus prevention. Once I knew what it was, I knew how to wipe it out."

"You're cured, Doctor," said Carla.

He drew in a sharp breath as tears filled his eyes.

"It's really over?"

The question had been directed at Ace, who smiled as she nodded.

"You're going to live, Professor," she said softly, "It's okay, it's all okay now."

He was shaking as he held his arm out and then Ace leaned closer and held him. As he wept on her shoulder he reached for Rebel, who also embraced him.

As Riley turned to Carla he smiled.

"Give us a hug."

Carla forced a smile and gave a brief handshake instead.

"Nice working with you, Mr Riley," she said politely.

* * *

The Doctor slept for many hours.

When he woke up and the sheets were soaked with sweat, Ace offered to help him to the bathroom to take a shower, but he was surprised to find he could get up and walk about easily. The only tiredness that lingered was from the fading effect of the anti toxin Carla had used to fight the poison. But he knew he was cured, one look in the mirror told him that – the pallor had left his face, and he could feel his energy levels beginning to rise once more.

The Doctor showered and dressed and when he came out of the bathroom, Ace was waiting for him, sitting on the bed and she smiled as he entered the room.

"You look great!" she exclaimed.

"I'm starting to feel great."

He walked over to her, sat down and put his arms around her, giving her a brief kiss and then looking into her eyes.

"We've got our life back the way it was," he told her, "We can go anywhere, do anything – we can forget this ever happened, put it behind us and move on."

"I'm not sure we can ever forget it."

"But we can try," the Doctor replied, "I know it's over but I still can't believe it – where's Rebel and Riley?"

"Back at the Tardis."

"And Carla?"

As he thought of her he wondered if he ought to try and speak to her alone before they left, it was only right that he explained face to face instead of leaving her to find a message on her phone – had she even listened to it yet? Perhaps she hadn't yet had the time with all that had happened, she certainly didn't seem any different towards him...

"I think she went with them," Ace replied, "She said she'd come back to check on you before you leave, just to make sure you're feeling okay. She said the rest of the formula will be out of your system in another twenty four hours, but she was worried it might make you feel a bit rough."

The Doctor laughed.

"This is nothing compared to what I've been through!"

And he walked over to the window and looked out at the landscape.

"I felt so hopeless when I first arrived...and..."

He paused. "And I was afraid," he said quietly, then said no more about it, realising how dangerously close he had just come to making a confession to Ace.

"There's nothing to be scared of now," she said gently, joining him at the window and putting her arm around him, "It's going to be okay."

There was a tap on the door.

"Only me," said Rebel.

Ace smiled.

"It's open."

He stood in the doorway, saw the Doctor was looking much better and smiled.

"You're recovering fast, that's good," he said, "And I _do_ know how to knock, I just did it...actually I wanted to have a word with Ace if that's okay... I've got something a bit special for you both."

Ace joined him at the doorway.

"What's this about?"

He smiled at the Doctor, and then led Ace outside and closed the door behind them.

* * *

Once they were alone, Rebel explained.

"I've got a little something for the Doctor – I thought you might like to keep it for a special occasion. I found it when I was looking through my wardrobe, I don't need it but I thought he might like it."

And he reached in the pocket of his long black jacket and drew out a small, narrow case.

"It's engraved with ancient wood from the forests of Gallifrey. It's a sonic screwdriver case... you could put a sonic screw driver in it – or something else that might fit."

And he smiled.

Ace looked at him with a puzzled expression.

"Like what?" she asked him.

"I don't know...I'm sure you'll think of something. Don't give it to him yet, wait until the time is right."

Ace put the box in her pocket.

"Okay," she said thoughtfully, "I'll hold on to it."

"And now I want a word with the Doctor in private – I just want to thank him, he's helped me so much...this won't take long."

Then Rebel went back into the Doctor's room and closed the door behind him, leaving Ace to wonder about the mysterious box.

* * *

As Rebel entered the room he saw the Doctor was still standing by the window, looking out towards the horizon. He walked over to the window and joined him.

"You've got your life back now," he said, "You can go anywhere, do anything – no more uncertainty about the future."

"Yes..." the Doctor replied, and he sounded lost in his own thoughts as he continued to focus on the line where sky met sea far off in the distance.

"You don't sound happy."

"Have you worked it out yet? Do you know who you are this time around, Rebel?"

The Fourteenth Doctor paused, and then he ran his hands down his black attire.

"Oh yes," he said quietly, "I understand everything now."

"But can you live with it?"

"I can try."

The Doctor turned his head and looked at Rebel.

"I think you're going to be okay too," he said, "We both are."

And Rebel smiled.

"Give me a hug, Doctor."

He looked at him in surprise.

"I think we did all our hugging when I got the good news."

Rebel's eyes shone with something wonderful, and he couldn't quite identify it, but it had nothing to do with taking blue mist...

"Just let me give you a big hug," Rebel said, "You've been through so much, come here..."

And the Doctor put his arms around him.

Rebel gave him a tight hug, at the same time drawing in a slow breath as he closed his eyes, and then as he opened them again, something sparked within the piercing blue, and then it was gone again, but for a brief moment the hit he felt from lifting out the Doctor's pain was better than any T bomb he could ever cook up in his lab. As the shimmer left his eyes he let go of him and stepped back.

The Doctor looked up at him.

"What did you just do?" he asked.

"I just gave you a bit of a tonic, to pick you up after everything you've been through. That tiredness won't last much longer. But take it easy for a few months, just until you're properly over the anti toxin. You'll soon be feeling much better."

"Thanks," the Doctor said, and then the door opened and Carla entered the room, along with Ace, who had stood outside for long enough.

"What was all that about?" she wondered.

"Rebel was just thanking me for my help," he said.

"For listening when I needed it the most," Rebel replied.

And then he drew in a sharp breath as his eyes widened.

"_We're not alone... I can feel it...evil..." _his breathing had grown shallow, _"Something wicked is coming this way...__thriving on pain and weakness...he revels in it!__"_

And footsteps echoed down the empty corridor outside.

The Doctor looked to Ace.

"Trust him, he's an empath..."

Rebel checked his weapon holstered beneath his jacket.

"There's no time," he said, and bolted for the bathroom, pushing the door almost shut as he set his weapon on stun and waited.

Carla and Ace exchanged a glance.

"What's he on about?" Carla wondered.

The footsteps drew nearer, and then the door opened.

Ace's eyes widened in shock and her first thought was her rucksack, left back at the Tardis along with her bat and three cans of nitro nine...

_The Master stood in the doorway._

He fixed his gaze on the Doctor and smiled as his eyes glittered with malice.

"Back here so soon, Doctor?" he remarked, "Let me guess, your treatment failed? No matter – I have a proposal for you..."

And he opened his closed hand to reveal a sealed vial of antidote.

"Your life in exchange for a promise," he said, "It's as simple as that..Do I have your attention?"

And the Doctor's eyes blazed with rage as he looked back at his oldest enemy and recalled every moment of the terrible pain he had caused.

"_Oh yes,"_ the Doctor said darkly, _"You certainly have my attention now..."_


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

The Doctor took a step forward and glared at the Master.

"I'd love to hear this proposal of yours," he said bitterly, "You can be sure I know what to do with it. I've suffered enough, I'm a dying man, I have _nothing_ left to lose!"

Ace and Carla exchanged a puzzled glance.

In the dark, behind the door, Rebel smiled.

_"Well played, Doctor,"_ he whispered, _"Well played..."_

And he kept a careful grip on his pistol as he waited to make a move.

The Doctor took another step closer, facing up to the Master fearlessly.

"You win. It's over. Anything you want, make your demands. Just give me the antidote."

The Master's eyes glittered as he smiled and victory shone in his eyes.

"At last," he said, "The Doctor is ready to get on his knees and beg for his life! This antidote can be reversed at the touch of a button, you will not be able to back out once the deal is struck."

"Just make your demands," the Doctor said darkly, "You've won."

"You will agree to keep out of my way for the rest of eternity," the Master said, "You will not interfere, you will walk away from my schemes and plans and do nothing. Or I will reverse the antidote effect with the push of a button and destroy you."

The Doctor held out his hand.

"Consider it done. Give me the antidote."

A smile flickered about the Master's lips as he handed over the vial.

"At last," the Doctor said as he held the vial in his hand and flipped open the top, "I've wanted to do this for a _long_ time – and now I can."

And as he looked at the Master, hatred blazed in his eyes as all the pain he had suffered turned into fury.

_"I'm already cured, you're too late, take your antidote back!"_

And he flung it in his face.

The Master gave a gasp, staggering back and wiping the liquid from his face as he looked at the Doctor with a shocked expression.

The Doctor smiled with satisfaction.

"_You know what you can do with your deal, Master. You lose."_

He waited to see rage erupt in the Master's eyes, but instead something else glittered there as he drew Carla Bailey's phone from his pocket.

"I had a tinker with this using my sonic screwdriver. It will certainly function as well as it did on earth..."

And the Doctor's eyes grew wider.

Ace saw a shocked expression on his face and wondered why.

"What are you doing with my phone?" Carla asked.

"A message for you, Miss Bailey," the Master said, setting the phone on loud speaker and pressing play.

The Doctor's voice filled the room:

"_Carla it's me, it's the Doctor. I've decided I will have more treatment with the anti toxin. I'm doing it for Ace. But I'm not ready to start yet, I still feel okay. I want to make the most of these days before I get sick again..."_

"Turn it off!" the Doctor yelled, and the Master laughed and continued to play the message:

"_And I'm sorry, about today. I hope I didn't hurt you. It's all my fault, when I was on Sabra, before I started the second dose...I was scared, I needed to put my arms around someone. I seduced you. I should have known better. And I've no excuse for what happened today. I was weak. But it won't happen again, it's over. I'll always care about you, of course I will – but I love my wife. We can never be lovers, what happened was a mistake. I hope you understand. I'll be in touch soon, to talk about the treatment – and I'm bringing Ace with me."_

The message ended.

The room had fallen silent.

The Master placed the phone on a nearby table.

Ace was shaking her head slowly.

"No...no, it's _not_ true... you faked it!"

The Master smiled.

"Did I? Maybe you should ask the Doctor."

"Professor?"

The Doctor briefly closed his eyes as he took a deep breath. Then he turned his head and looked at Ace, and she saw regret in his eyes, and her own expression turned to one of utter hatred.

_"How could you do that to me?"_ she said, her breathing shallow as she tried to handle rage and shock all at once.

The Master was laughing.

"In a way, I still win," he said, "Enjoy your new lease of life, Doctor – on your own."

_"BASTARD!"_ the Doctor yelled, and lunged at him.

The two men crashed to the floor and struggled, exchanging blows.

And the bathroom door swung open and Rebel stepped out, holding the laser pistol in a two handed grip as his aim shifted left, right, then left again as the Doctor and the Master traded punches.

Then he got a clear shot and hit the trigger.

There was a flash and the crack of a weapon discharging, the Master cried out and his body convulsed, and then he fell still.

"That's enough!" Rebel said sharply, "No more violence! You almost lost your life because of the toxin, you're not up for a fist fight!"

And the Doctor got up from the floor. He was breathless and still sweating as the last of the destroyed toxin left his system. His cheek was grazed and his knuckles had turned red from the blows he had exchanged with the Master, who was stunned unconscious on the floor.

He looked to Ace, and saw such hurt and betrayal in her eyes it broke both his hearts.

"I swear to you, it was nothing...two occasions when I was weak, when I was alone and scared and..."

"Don't," she said, her voice hushed as anger blazed in her eyes, "It's over. You and me are OVER!"

"Ace," Carla said, "Please listen to him, "He's telling the truth -"

There was a crack as a fist connected with Carla's cheekbone and the blow sent her crashing to the floor.

She looked up to see Ace standing over her, and her hand was still balled into a fist.

_"You dirty, disgusting whore, he's my husband!"_

She leaned over her to strike another blow, and then someone had her arms pinned behind her back firmly as she was pulled away from the woman on the floor.

"I said that's enough!" Rebel shouted, "No more violence! You smacked her once, that _is_ enough! She's bleeding, leave her alone!"

Tears blurred her vision as she turned to the Doctor and Rebel let go of her.

"_NO_ more fighting!" Rebel warmed her, "I won't allow it. This universe already contains too much hatred and violence. It stops now, before you really hurt someone!"

Ace walked over to the Doctor, who stood looking down at the floor.

"Take me home."

He met her gaze.

"Back to the Tardis?" he said in a hushed voice.

"_NO!"_ she yelled, _"BACK TO PERIVALE, I'M LEAVING YOU!"_

And the Doctor's eyes filled with tears as he felt sure he had never known so much regret in all his many lives.

He glanced at Rebel, then gestured to the Master.

"What about him?"

"I'll handle this."

"Wait for me," the Doctor said, and then he left the room and Ace followed.

* * *

Rebel went over to the other side of the room and opened a small window, down in the grounds below Riley was standing beside the tank watching as the eel swum about, its back glistening in the sunlight as it broke surface.

"Riley, get up here," he called out, "I need your help."

And then he turned back to Carla.

She was still on the floor, barely able to stand and her cheek was red and grazed and her face streaked with tears.

"You had to expect her to be furious," he said gently, "You slept with her husband. No one can choose who they fall in love with, but you played with fire... come on, get up."

And he took her hand and helped her to her feet.

"I've ruined everything," she said tearfully, "I never meant for any of this to happen. I was selfish -"

"Of course you were," he said kindly, "You liked him, he liked you, he was feeling vulnerable and you wanted to save his life – I've been there. I _was_ him many regenerations ago. You don't need to explain to me."

And then he put his arm around her and she sobbed against his shoulder.

The door opened and Riley walked in.

"I just had a right result!" he exclaimed, "I found a vending machine on the ground floor, I put money in for one chocolate bar and _two_ came out!"

And then he saw the unconscious Master on the floor.

"Did I miss something?"

"Help me get him back to his Tardis," he said, "We need to teach this bastard a lesson he won't forget..."

* * *

Ace had grabbed her jacket and rucksack and as the Tardis time controls activated, she looked across the console as tears burned in her eyes.

"You slept with Carla Bailey? You married me but you _slept_ with her? When? How many times?"

The Doctor gave a heavy sigh.

"You don't need to know the details -"

"_YES I DO!"_

He looked up and met her gaze. It hurt to look into her eyes and see such anger and betrayal, but he held her gaze and told her the truth:

"After you left Sabra. The night before I started the second course of anti toxin. I was frightened, Ace! I missed you and -"

"You jumped into bed with her?"

"No!" he insisted, "It wasn't like that! I thought I might die during the treatment, I thought I'd never hold a woman in my arms again! I seduced her, it wasn't her fault! It was touching, her touching me and nothing else!"

"More like you ripped her knickers off and screwed her to the bed!"

"No! I was too weak from the anti toxin, don't be stupid! The second time, yes, I _did _have sex with her – that was at the apartment, on the day I found out the toxin levels had risen again. And it wasn't love, it wasn't anything like what we share! Yes I _did_ rip her knickers off, and I shagged her so hard I hurt her! I did it to get her out of my system once and for all!"

Ace stared at him.

"You can't excuse it. And I can't forgive it, not ever. I _hate_ you!"

The Tardis landed.

The Doctor blinked away tears as he activated the door from the console.

"Perivale," he said quietly.

She was still looking at him, he could feel her eyes burning into him as he looked down at the console.

"Ace I do love you -"

"Don't bother, Professor," she said in a hushed voice, "It's over."

And she walked out of the door and out of his life and the Doctor wanted to run after her, but he knew his words would have no effect – Ace had made up her mind.

As tears ran down his face, he closed the Tardis door, and set a course for the planet of Sabra.

* * *

By the time Ace had reached her mother's house, she was sobbing.

She rang the bell and waited.

The Audrey answered the door.

"Mum," she said tearfully, "It's over, he cheated on me and its over! I _hate_ him!"

Audrey stared at her daughter.

"But he loves you so much... Are you sure he did that?"

Ace gave another sob and nodded.

"He was seeing her – the doctor who was treating him! He admitted everything!"

And then she gave another sob, and her mother took her inside and closed the door.

* * *

The Tardis materialised back on Sabra, this time near woodland, and as the Doctor stepped out he felt sure every journey would be lonely now Ace was gone.

Then he saw the door to the Master's Tardis was open, and he heard laughter coming from inside.

"This," Rebel was saying, "Will teach him a lesson he'll never forget!"

"Good idea!" Riley agreed.

And then the Doctor stepped inside and both men stopped laughing.

"She went back to Earth?" Rebel asked.

The Doctor nodded.

"Where's Carla?"

"Do you still want to -"

"No!" he replied firmly, "I was just asking, I wanted to know if she was okay. Ace landed one hell of a punch on her, she's lucky she didn't fracture her jaw."

"She's okay," Rebel replied, "I took her back to my Tardis. Don't worry about her, I'll keep an eye on her for now."

The Doctor joined him at the console and watched as he continued to program a complicated flight plan, and then he briefly smiled.

"That's going to be a wild ride!"

"It certainly will."

Rebel finished the task and set the autopilot on a timer, then paused to blast some controls with his sonic screwdriver. There was a shower of sparks and then Rebel twirled the screwdriver like a six shooter, blew the end of it and then put it back in his pocket.

"That's him sorted out," he said, "I've fixed it on a one way route – if he tries to alter course, he'll stall in orbit, leaving him no choice but to go onward -"

"Like he did to the Cassandra-Aurora?" the Doctor said in surprise.

And Rebel smiled.

"You're catching on, Doctor – I have a long memory."

Then he gave the Master a nudge with his boot.

"Wakey wakey!" he said brightly, "I've just put your Tardis on a fixed course. Enjoy the ride."

And then he smiled pleasantly as the Master blinked and looked up at him, then Rebel stuck up a middle finger at the Doctor's oldest enemy.

"See you around in...oh, I'd estimate roughly... a _thousand_ years!"

And then he stepped over him and walked out, followed by Riley.

The Doctor paused as he reached the doorway.

"You lose," he reminded him again, and then he was gone, closing the door behind him.

_"NO!"_ the Master yelled as he struggled to his feet.

He ran to the console and tried in vain to stop the timed activation, but it was too late as the space-time controls fired up, and then the ship faded out of sight and disappeared.

* * *

As the Master's Tardis vanished, Rebel and the Doctor stood side by side looking towards the empty space where the ship had stood.

"He's in for quite a shock," the Doctor remarked.

"He certainly is!" Rebel exclaimed, "I sent him far off into deep space, right into the middle of a large asteroid belt. I've programmed the ship to hit every asteroid, ricochet off and hit another, over and over again, making it impossible for him to keep the ship steady enough to repair the damage I did to the flight controls."

Riley laughed.

"His ship will get banged about like it's trapped in a pinball machine," he added, "And when its over, it's bouncing straight into a black hole."

Then he took a bar of chocolate out of his pocket.

"I think I'll go back to the Tardis and have this with a cup of tea. I hope you've got milk, Rebel. I can't stand that lemon crap you drink."

And then he turned away and headed back to the Tardis.

The Doctor stood in silence, and Rebel guessed why.

"You should go back," he told him, "Tell her you're sorry."

Pain reflected in the Doctor's eyes as he looked to his Fourteenth incarnation.

"She won't forgive this."

"Then you have to work on it!" Rebel told him, "Get on your knees and say it over and over until she gives you another chance! Beg her if that's what it takes!"

As the Doctor looked at him, he started to smile.

"I do believe you're finding your way now. Tell me what it means to be Rebel."

Passion fired up in his bright blue eyes as he looked skywards.

"I can hear it," he said, "The cries of those in fear and pain. And yes, sometimes it gets too much, but I have to listen to it, I have to go where the voices take me...because that's where I'm needed."

Rebel turned and looked at him, and the Doctor suddenly felt hope for his future self.

"And why do you only wear the colour black?" he asked.

Rebel answered without hesitation.

"_Because it reflects the tragedy and loss throughout the universe, the grief I constantly sense from those who are suffering. Because I'm the one to walk amongst the lost and help them find their way, I'm the one who must end wars and replace pain with hope. Because I'm the Doctor."_

And then he smiled.

"You need to go back to Perivale. She still loves you."

The Doctor nodded.

"I'll do that, I've got nothing to lose," he agreed.

"Good luck," Rebel told him, and he gave him a brief hug and then let go again.

"Thanks, I probably need it."

Rebel smiled again and his eyes sparkled.

"No you don't. Just speak from your hearts. And beg her – a lot! Don't forget that part!"

"I won't forget," the Doctor said again, "And I'll be in touch."

And then he walked back to his Tardis and closed the door.

Moments later a wheezing whoosh sounded as the police box faded in and out of view, and then it vanished.

* * *

When Rebel went back to his own Tardis and closed the door, he saw Carla Bailey standing in the console room. Her eyes were still red from crying and almost matched the mark on her face left by Ace.

"Where's Riley?" he asked her.

"He said something about looking for some milk in the kitchen," she replied.

"I don't have any milk," Rebel replied, "I can't stand the stuff! So what about you?"

She shook her head.

"I don't mind lemon tea."

He smiled.

"No, I meant, what now? The Cassandra-Aurora exploded killing all on board – you're presumed dead. I could take you back to Eden Earth...or you could always come along with me."

"I'm not sure..."

His eyes lit up.

"Go on, give me a chance! You might enjoy the trip. And I know I can get a bit wild when I'm on blue mist... and I can't always be sure of the contents of my T bombs - so a friend who's handy with a defibrillator could be useful!"

And finally, she managed to smile.

"I must be insane... Okay, I'll come along for the ride..."

"Great!" he exclaimed, and then he hugged her. As he let go she noticed something she hadn't seen before – Rebel wore a wedding ring.

"Are you married?"

"Widowed," he replied quickly, "There was a fire."

And she was about to ask another question, but he turned back to the console, keyed in some co ordinates and then pushed down the lever, and held it down by placing the house brick on top.

"We're off!" he announced.

"Where are we going?" she asked.

He shrugged.

"For a spin around the galaxy while I decide where to go," he replied, "Now...what's next...It's too early for vodka o'clock... Fancy a cup of Lemon tea?"

She smiled.

"Sounds good to me," she replied, and then he led her out of the console room towards the Tardis kitchen.

* * *

Ace was on the sofa beside her mother.

She had stopped crying, and as she looked down at the ring on her finger, she shook her head.

"I can't believe he did that to me! I thought he loved me!"

"_He does."_

Ace stared at her.

"And I can't believe you're taking his side! Mum, he cheated on me!"

"And he was scared and on his own and fighting for his life!" she told her, "Try and imagine how he felt, desperate, in pain – and only this one doctor could help him – and it was _her, _ Carla Bailey. Of course he leaned on her, of _course_ something happened! He was frightened, on his own and he needed someone, _anyone_ to be there!"

Ace frowned.

"Anyone?"

"He just didn't want to be alone while he had to face up to the chance that he might die."

"But he sent me away!"

"Because he couldn't bear to see you cry, because he loves you! Everyone has their limits, Ace. Even him. And you haven't seen the last of him, if he loves you like I think he does, he'll be round here begging you to take him back!"

Ace felt confused as she looked at her mother.

"How can you be sure about all this? You're talking like you can read his mind – you can't!"

"I know what he's been through. Think about it, Ace – that's enough make anyone do something stupid! People get desperate when they're ill, when they think they could die – it changes everything. But he's admitted the truth to you."

"And now he's gone."

Then the doorbell rang.

"I bet that's him," said Audrey, and she got up from the sofa.

"Mum, don't -"

"I'm answering it," she replied, and left the room.

* * *

As the door opened and the Doctor found himself face to face with Audrey, he looked at her apologetically.

"I know I messed up. Feel free to hurl all the insults you can muster, I deserve it."

Audrey looked into his eyes.

"Tell me one thing," she said, "Will you ever do this again?"

The Doctor drew in a sharp breath and fought back tears as he shook his head.

"I don't know what I was thinking," he said in a hushed voice, "I felt lost...and that's not an excuse."

Audrey stepped back and opened the door wider.

"She's in the front room," she told him.

* * *

As he walked in, Ace got up from the sofa.

"Why did you bother coming back?" she asked coldly, and he blinked away tears again as he walked over to the window where she stood with her back turned.

"I hate you," she whispered.

"Well I love you, Ace," he said as his voice trembled, "I love you so much I'll never forgive myself for what I did. I was stupid, it was a moment of weakness...that message the Master played, did you hear all of it? I'd ended it with her! I ended it because I _love _you! I went through all the treatment to have more time with you, when I thought there was no hope I held on to the fact that maybe I could live long enough to be with you for a few more months. And you know what I went through. I held on for you, _not_ for her! She was treating the toxin levels – I relied on her for it. And that's when I made a mistake. And it _was_ a mistake. Please, I'm begging you – don't walk away from me. I'll never forgive myself for what I've done but I can't live without you. I'll get on my knees if I have to...please, Ace..."

He put his hand on her shoulder and as forgiveness began to fade out her anger, she fought back tears as she kept her gaze fixed on the window, she was certain he was weeping but wasn't ready to face him yet.

"You once said you'd take me for a trip around the twelve galaxies and bring me home in time for tea. Well, you brought me home."

The Doctor's hand was still on her shoulder.

He drew in a slow breath and spoke up again.

"_It's not tea time yet."_

And Ace turned and looked into his eyes. He blinked as tears ran down his face.

"You won't forgive me instantly. I don't expect you to. I don't deserve that. But please, Ace – don't leave. Give me another chance, I'll never let you down again, I swear it, I won't -"

His words were silenced as she wrapped her arms around him and held him close.

He knew he was sobbing but couldn't stop.

"You're right," she said tearfully, "I won't forget! But I do love you, Professor. And I will give you another chance."

And he clung to her tightly, trembling as he sobbed and thanked her over and over again.

* * *

Several hours later, after Ace had gathered up her belongings and gone back to the Tardis, the Doctor had flown them to a beautiful, deserted planet.

And this time there were no buildings, no signs of life except for the birds that sung in the trees as the sun shone down on to green grass as a nearby waterfall trickled into a rock pool below.

The Doctor's clothes were mixed with Ace's, they were strewn in a messy trail to the bank of a crystal clear stream, and as Ace rolled in cool grass and clung to the Doctor, he promised her he would love her forever.

They had both wept, and then kissed, and clung to each other desperately as he made love to his wife and swore over and over he would never stray again.

Then they lay together beside the water as he held her in his arms.

"You're my whole life," he whispered, "I'd rather die than lose you."

"I know that," she said softly, "And I believe you. I won't forget, but I believe you."

He looked deeply into her eyes as he made a vow beneath a blue sky lit by a glowing sun:

"I'll love you forever, Ace. I'll never let you down again."

And she pulled him closer.

"That's good enough for me," she said, and covered his mouth with another kiss.

* * *

Three months later, they returned to Perivale to pay that visit to Audrey that the Doctor had promised to make during his last, brief stay.

It was Easter weekend and Ace had spent the morning shopping with her mum.

When they returned to the house, Ace went into the front room, and then she sat beside the Doctor and glanced at her mother.

"Want some more tea, Doctor?" Audrey asked him.

"No,"Ace said quickly, "I want you to stay here for a minute."

And the Doctor noticed both women exchanged a smile, and he wondered why, but then Ace put a long, narrow gift in his hands, it was wrapped in gold paper and he looked at her in surprise.

"You bought me something?"

"Not exactly," she said, "Rebel gave it to me – to give to you, he said I'd know when to do it."

And she smiled as he opened up the wrapping paper.

Then he looked intently at the wooden box, running his fingers over the intricate design carved upon it.

"This is a sonic screwdriver case – an old one from Gallifrey!"

"Gallifrey?" said Audrey, "Is that in Cornwall?"

But Ace didn't answer the question. Instead she sat beside the Doctor, watching as he handled the box and then he turned it over.

"There's something inside it," he said, and Ace recalled the day Rebel had told her to keep it until the time was right...

"What is it?" the Doctor asked her, "A spare sonic screw driver? I hardly ever use the one I've already got..."

"Open it and find out," Ace said to him.

The Doctor opened the box.

He looked at the contents, and then he fell silent.

Then he reached in, and took out the gift Ace had put inside the box:

It was a pregnancy test, a _positive_ pregnancy test.

Now he knew _exactly _what Rebel had done on the day he had hugged him – he had used his ability to heal to reverse the damage caused by the anti toxin...

He was still holding the test in his hands and he struggled to find his voice as tears of joy filled his eyes.

"Professor?" Ace said softly, "Are you okay?"

He nodded.

"I'm going to be father!" he said, and even as he spoke, he could scarcely believe it was true.

"I never thought this could be possible, not after the anti toxin..."

He blinked away tears and made a silent vow to find Rebel and thank him from the bottom of his twin hearts.

"I love you so much, Professor," Ace said to him, and she drew him into her arms and they embraced.

And while the Doctor held her and thought of the future, he also thought of a man who flew a Tardis with stained glass windows - a man with eyes like lasers who carried a faint trace of the smell of burnt volcanic rock about his dark clothing. As the Doctor thought of him he hoped the day would soon come when they met again, because the Timelord known as Rebel had changed his life in a heartbeat, and he wanted him to know he was forever in his debt...

"Are you happy?" Ace asked him.

He held her a little tighter and smiled as he looked into her eyes.

"Of course I am!" he told her, and then he embraced her again, thankful for a future life and a traumatic regeneration that would lead to a mutation that could perform miracles.

But mostly, as he held her, he was also thankful for the girl from Perivale who had changed his life forever, who had taken on a lonely traveller in a police box, and turned his lonely life into something wonderful.

End.

* * *

**Author note - The story continues in Book 3, Phantoms. ~ Aline Riva**


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